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It's taken me a while to introduce myself


minpin003

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I've been registered for a few months, but finally have logged in to find someone to "talk" to. My Mom was diagnosed with SCLC in may of 2003, and although she keeps surprising the medical staff, I cannot stay in Shanland, or my little world of denial, forever. Just this week she was hospitalized to receive 4 pints of blood as her hemoglobin was low-low due to chemo. The thing is Mom does not want to know her prognosis. She may have a feeling, she hasn't asked and hasn't researched, which has been helpful. It's to the point where I will be moving in with her in 2 weeks (the basement is almost finished being remodeled) under the premise that 1) I want to be there for her as much as possible and 2) to pay some bills. ;) Mom is VERY independent and is having a hard time understanding the concept of not going to work. While it's good for her to keep busy, she needs to take care of her health first (she's a damn mule, I tell you!). She's only 56 years old (will be 57 this month), and I'm only 33 (will be 34 next month). I, along with her good friend, have spoken to the medical staff at the hospital. We know the dx. I'm having a hard time. A REALLY hard time. I am an only child, and my Mom is my best friend. And then there's my 92 year old Grammie (Mom's Mom) who will be devistated at the loss of her youngest daughter. I KNOW that I'm not alone (and Mom's not alone), which is why I'm writing this. Is there an online support group that exists, that I can come to while I'm looking for in-person groups? I can't do this alone. As much as I have the rest of my family, and my dogs and cat (they are my solace), I don't feel I can handle this.

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I feel your pain! My mom is always there for me, and without her is unthinkable. Just try to remember that this isn't an automatic death sentence. Statistic are just numbers, and not people. There ARE people out there who are surviving sclc. Positivity is vital! I am always open with my mother when talking to her about it. It's not a dirty word. I had to tell my mother her cancer was back, the radiologist didn't have the heart to tell her. I'll always be truthful with her, it's her body! I am a respiratory therapist in an 133 bed hospital in southern IN, and I have 3 lung cancer patients right now that I take care of in all stages of the cancer; small cell and large. They ask why me? What did I do? I tell them NOTHING!! No one deserves lung cancer or any other cancer for that matter. It's here and with the Lord's help we will deal with it together. The same thing I told my mother when she was first diagnosed in Oct. 2003. There is always hope! If you ever need to just talk I'll be here. You are not alone! Keep up the fight!!

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dear minpin,

i am so sorry to hear about your mom....my prayers are with you in such a difficult time....

i can relate to you when you say "...my mom....my best friend..."

my mom is only 55 and I 36.... around the same age as you and your mom.... but in my case it is my husband ( my other best friend) who has the cancer....

the issue of prognosis always seems to lurk around us although we have NEVER invited it..... it crossed my mind in the beginning to ask the docs.... but i was always afraid.... i guess i didnt want any answers....

i figure only God truly knows the "WHEN" question....and for now i will be grateful for ANY time we have....

of course, sometimes when i am researching the disease, new meds, new symptoms, etc... i trip accross some statistics... at first they really bothered me, seeing the #'s i mean.... but although i am sure they are based on scientific data, i remind myself that individually #'s dont fit neatly into our scenario....

as far as the internet goes there is a ton of info out there re: statistics and prognosis if you are ready for that and are actively seeking the info...just be careful to visit legitimate sites for correct info....

the National Cancer Institute site is often helpful to me:

http://www.nci.nih.gov/

the statistics for my husband dont look good at all.... but for me personally i am trying to stay positive and focus on the "here and now".... after all we never know.... there could be major break-throughs in lungcancer tommorrow.... i have to hold to my belief in miracles and that "it's not over 'till it's over"

Regarding your question of online support groups, i am only using this one right now.... this is really a good forum for support.... i dont know of any others off hand but you might find some if you go to the:

American Cancer Society:

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/home/index.asp

American Lung Associtation:

http://www.lungusa.org/site/pp.asp?c=dvLUK9O0E&b=22542

or ALCASE websites:

http://alcase.org/

I hope this helps.... please feel free to pm me if you just need to vent or something.... i can even send you my email address...

I am sure others will post here soon and will probably be able to offer you more resources as well....

Many prayers and warm wishes...

Lisa :)

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Sorry about your mom. If she doesn't want to know the prognosis, then I think her wishes should be honored. Besides, no one, not even the docs, know for sure how long any of us has. I know from my wife (she is an only child) how hard it is to lose your mother. I lost both parents when I was in my early 20's, and it is tough. But we can go on and make them proud with a good life of our own. Hang in there. You sound like a great daughter. Don

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