Angie Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Thank you all so much for your support. I posted last week about "Going Down Hill Fast" and the words of support and understanding were overwhelming and meant so much to me. Today my Mom and I took a look at a nursing home We are going to try our best to keep Dad at home, but it's becoming increasingly difficult, so we wanted to have a plan to get in fast if we needed to so we are completing an application. My Dad can no longer walk. His brain isn't sending messages to his legs anymore and with him being 200 lbs, one person is not enough to handle him. He can't tell us when he has to go to the bathroom and can no longer feed himself very well. He just looks at the food not quite knowing what to do. I am taking mornings off from work this week so I can help my Mom get Dad out of bed, etc., and my sister will do the same next week...and we'll go from there. A home health nurse will come in daily for about an hour for a "sponge bath", which he desperately needs after a night sitting in wet Depends. It's VERY difficult to change him. I have two sisters who visit in the evening and our husbands help with getting him in bed at night. We got a wheel chair on Sunday which helps. Each day seems to be worse. God has given me strength to deal with this awful situation. I am thanful for that. The doctors say possibly three or four months he may have left. I can't image him living that long. To me, things seem to be progressing very quickly. This is certainly no life for my Dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Angie-- I am so sorry to read your post; I know how difficult this is for you, your mom, your sisters, and your father. I hope that you all find the proper help and support that you need to make these last few months ones that you all and your dad can enjoy together. Sincerely, Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted September 20, 2004 Share Posted September 20, 2004 Angie, I am so very sorry about your Dad. But here are some hints that I learned in taking care of Earl. First, make sure to get the diapers that have tabs (like a baby's diaper). These are much easier to get on and off. Earl was also 200 lbs so I understand your challenge. We double diapered Earl. Used an XL Attens of the outside and an XL Depends on the inside. We also used 2 male guards inside the diapers. I also had those 'tinkle' jars that men use in the hospital if Earl told us in time that he had to go. We would check Earl often and if he was wet we could usually just remove the top guard and replace it. This was easy to do and kept him from having to be wet for long periods of time. Taking care of the other you know what was more interesting and if I was alone, it took a long time to get him cleaned and changed. Earl, also, was in a hospital bed and didn't really get out of it for the last 5 weeks. I will remember your Dad in my prayers tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Angie, I am so sorry to hear about your dad's situation. I am sure you are doing all in your power to take care of him. If the time comes that you can't...nursing home is where I would want to be in his situation. I don't want my loved ones having to diaper me etc. Just an opinion. Nina PS. if he does go to a nursing home someone should be there as often as possible. I wouldn't want to be alone all the time.. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Angie~ Do you by any chance have a residential hospice in your area? It would be better than the nursing home if you have one but hospice will also provide serivices in a nursing home. We have a residential hospice that has a bed in each room for a family member, kitchen, family gathering room etc. It is more of a home environment. I wish you all the best. This is hard I know. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Angie, If there is ANY way you avoid a nursing home, I would do it. My dad was in a very nice nursing home with very loving, highly qualified, skilled care nurses. The trouble with it, though, is there just aren't enough of them (nurses, aids, etc.). They will try as hard as they can, but your dad could go for very long periods of time without the attention he needs, i.e., diaper care, a drink of water, sometimes even vomiting, etc. I like Ry's idea about a nursing home WITH hospice care. Also, should you decide to keep him at home, here's how the nurses and aids took care of those needs for my dad. He was probably about 180 lbs., but very short and stocky - heavy and hard to move because he had all his weight in his mid-section. The did not use diapers. They kept an oversized pad under him, and what they would do is two of them would roll him on his side, roll up 1/2 of the pad just until it was real close to his body, clean him up, have a new clean pad rolled and right behind the soiled one. Then they would give him an extra hard push on his side, yank out the old pad back toward them, rolling it as they pulled it out, and the slide the new one under him at the same time. I'm sure it would take some practice, but the nurse that comes in could show you and help you. Oh, also, they kept a pad just laying on top of him to protect the top sheet and blanket. They didn't like to use diapers because if they have to wear them for a long time, then they start having problems with rashes, etc. I know this is so, so hard. You have my most sincere compassion. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 So sorry to hear this Angie. I do hope you will be able to keep your Dad comfortable whatever you choose to do. This is so hard for you all and I send prayers for your strength. Love, Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I am so saddened to know about the decline, i experienced similar things as yours. I know how this feels. I don't know how to comfort you, but only to suggest you spend more time with your dad. I hope your dad has no pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Angie, I'm very sorry things have reached this point. I hope that you and your family will be able to find the help you need to be able to care for your Father in a way that is best for all of you. My prayer to you for strength and peace in the days ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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