Guest bbypookins Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Hi everyone. I haven't posted here in a long time, but I still linger often. Mom got the results of her latest CT scan last week and it wasn't good. The cancer continues to grow so the oncologist told her she could try a fourth chemo, but he didn't recommend it as it would just make her sicker. She is in pretty bad shape these days; in horrible pain and she can barely eat. So, she decided to not do anything. Hospice came yesterday. Boy, that was like a punch in the stomach. The questions they ask make it so real. This is really happening. My mom is going to die. Probably sooner than later. I still have trouble grasping that. I saw my dad cry for the first time in my life. I mean, he actually sobbed as I hugged him. My dad. Anyway, they are going to try to control her pain. The nurse examined her and noticed a tightness in her right shoulder (which she has been complaining about for over a year) and said it feels like a muscle spasm. Boy was Mom pissed. All this time, the pain that has been the worst is probably a muscle spasm. I've definitely lost faith in doctors. Especially oncologists. They really have one track minds. We've been looking into trying Artemisinin recently and mentioned it to Mom, but she is so irritable now because of all the pain, just the thought of taking more pills gets her in a huff. She can barely get down the ones she has. So, we bought the pills and are waiting until she has a good day to bring it up again. The information I've read about it is pretty interesting. I would recommend researching it. If we ever get her to start it, I will post the results. Bracing for the worst- Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Dear Kim, I am so sorry that this turn for the worse has taken place. I don't have any wisdom to offer, but please do continue to keep us updated and know we will be here for you any way we can. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jana_W Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Kim I am so sorry that things are like this right now. I still hope for a miracle, and failing that I wish you strength and love to help at such a difficult time. My heart goes out to you. Please let us know you are all doing. with best wishes Jana xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Kim, I am so sorry about this sad news. Use this time to be happy with your Mother. I will pray for strength for you and your Dad during this tough time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Dear Kim I am so sorry to read your post. I will be thinking of you and your family. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 I know this is your hell. I have been there twice. I wish I could say or do something to make it bearable. There is nothing I know. All I can offer is my prayers and hope. I am here if you want to hit something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Prayers going up for you, your Mom and family for comfort and peace during this most difficult time. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeTaa Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 I'm so sorry. And I so hope y'all are able to get that pain under control. Praying for us all, TeeTaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melaniem Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 kim, i am new to this site and am battling my own demon with lc, but wanted to lend a supportive hand. i have watched my own family weep and have actually witnessed a person's heart break in two. i do not know who has it worse, the actual person with lc or those who love them. please know that i am thinking of you and your heartbroken family. may God throw open the floodgates of Heaven and send down peace to you. melanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAnn Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Kim, I am so sorry that your mom is starting this phase. Please know that I am thinking about you and your mom and dad and sending my prayers of comfort your way. TAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jean44 Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Kim, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's decline. I remember the day the oncologist said the word Hospice to my Dad, it did make it all real knowing this was the "end of the line". I also know what it is like to lose a parent and to try to prepare yourself for life without them. It has been almost a year for me and the loss is still there. We also dealt with the pill issue with Dad. It got to where he would literally cuss when Mom gave him his medication. In the end us kids would give it to him. He have us a little less grief about it than he did Mom. Keeping you, your Mom and family in my prayers. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marion Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 i AM SORRY FOR THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING. BUT PEACE BE WITH YOUR MOTHER, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. MARION Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natalie Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Kim, I'm so saddened to hear this news. I'm so so sorry. If you need help with anything at all, please contact me at natalieh44@msn.com and I'll give you my phone number. Don't forget I'm very local...so please do not hesitate one slightest bit to contact me. I've been there and understand. Thinking and praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Kim, I am so sorry for this turn of events with your mom. Prayers for you all. I can relate to your dad. Two years ago in December, Lucie was in the hospital on Christmas eve with systemic staph infection and almost died. Two of my choldren were present when I reached over to hug her and burst out crying. My kids have not seen me cry many times. It was a bit rattling for them. I felt very desperate at the time. She did pull through, obviously. I wish you all a better turn. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Sorry for all of you, prayers going for comfort and peace, J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilgna Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 So sorry . prayers and stregnth to you and yours....may your family find peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richinsdakota Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 So sorry to hear....hang in there best ya can....hoping for the best that can be under the circumstances....take care Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tess Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 The most important thing is that hospice will help make your mom comfortable. She will need that. Also you should ask hospice about ativan for her in case she starts having a lot of distress. It will keep her from getting panicky. I would not try to get her to take the Artim., the most important thing will be to take her pain medications at this point. Don't put her thru anymore than she has to. I went thru this with my husband. Your mom has bone mets too right? I remember that she was suffering like my husband did. I was thankful for hospice, they made him comfortable in the end. At this point, this is the only thing that can be done for her. God bless you and your dad and mom and know he will take care of her in heaven. I am sorry you have to go thru this too. Cherish the days or even the hours you have left with her. You will always remember them. Tess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she is pain free and that something can be done to relieve her anxiety. Thinking of you. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 KIM-- I SURE KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!! WHEN WE WERE TOLD MY MOM WAS APPROPRIATE FOR HOSPICE (EVEN THOUGH I FIGURED THE TIME WOULD COME EVENTUALLY), I JUST BROKE DOWN, ITS LIKE LIFE JUST STOPPED, MY MOM WAS ONLY 59 AND MY BEST FRIEND (AND LIKE YOURS.....THE BEST MOM EVER!!) IM SO SORRY THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU, HANG IN THERE, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN FOR SURE (IVE HEARD OF HOSPICE PATIENTS GETTING WELL AND LEAVING HOSPICE). IF YOU EVER WANT TO TALK, SEND ME AN E-MAIL....CHOCOCATS2@JUNO.COM TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Kim, My thoughts are certainly with you. Don't forget that there are lots and lots of hospice programs out there....make sure you are comfortable with the one you choose. This is not the time to "be nice" if you aren't happy with level of service or anything about the program. We were blessed (and continue to be blessed) with the service my Mom was with. The aftercare programs have been phenomenal. That will be important for you and your Dad. I echo the recommendation for Ativan....it made a world of difference with my Mom and panic attacks associated with pain or difficulty breathing. I would also recommend a couple of books...."Final Gifts" is phenomenal and "Dying Well"....they changed my perspective on entering a hospice program and beginning to accept the reality that my Mom was going to die. It still totally bites, but it eased my mind and prepared me for what was ahead. Like so many others, I am just a PM away.....bless you as you begin this leg of your journey with your Mommy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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