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Mom's birthday


angelb

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Hi all, I havent posted much lately, having issues with dh and depression, but am working it out - baby steps.

So here I am facing another issue, this time, I am seriously greiving for my Mom. Her 51st birthday is Saturday (9/25). Usually its no big deal except this time last year, she and my S-dad were on an Alaskan Cruise, and here we are, when they would be reliving those memories, she has to do it on her own. I want very badly to just show up on her doorstep, but she has said no repeatidly. So I can only do her wishes.

I cant wait for her to come home to VA - hopefully by the beginning on the year if she can sell her house in GA and not lose any money. There have been a load of legal issus that are not going in her favor, so she is really not doing too well.

I am just so concerned for her because I am still deeply greiving for Rich and I was not even around him all day every day. I know that she hates being in the house, maybe that is the reason she is drowing herself in her work. I dont know how to bring her any happiness. Already she has told me that his kids are starting to alienate her, so sooner rather than later she will only have me. Its times like these I wish I was not an only child - I could really use a sibling as a sounding board for emotional support - because my dh just doesnt understand. I am just so sad for my mom, oh, and by the way, this is nothing, here come the holidays - Thanksgiving - and Christmas - and the worst - will be New Years - for a few reasons - most of all because that was Rich's birthday, and second, because she will be entering a new year - like a clean slate without him. At least now she has the comfort of knowing that he was here in 2004 - in 2005 she cant have that. My heart is just broken over all of this. Thanks, for letting me get this off my chest and out of my head, I just dont have anywhere else I can get it all out. No responses are needed. Thanks.

Angela

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Dear Angela,

I am sorry things are so down right now. The firsts are the toughests. For me it was Mother's Day, at least so far. I had ordered surprise Alaska cruise tickets for Becky and I to go over Mother's Day, and it made that weekend the saddest of the lot so far. So at least your mom has memories of the trip itself, and not regrets that it didn't happen. That probably won't happen this week, because it is so tough, but in years to come the thoughts will be more and more about what they had as opposed to what they are missing.

You and your family are always in our thoughts and prayers, even when not posting. But please do keep us updated.

Curtis

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