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Some random quotes I have found interesting:

Yes, sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it is one of the best. - Woody Allen

Marriage is like a three ring circus. First the engagement ring. Then the wedding ring. Then the suffer-ring. - Anon

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. -Helen Rowland

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same. - Erica Jong

Marriage is the price men pay for sex. sex is the price women pay for marriage. - Anon

After 15 years of marriage, they achieved a level of sexual compatibility. They both had a headache. - Anon

My wife doesn't. Understand me? - Anon

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love. - Woody Allen.

A woman is occasionally quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure. - Karl Kraus

A little coitus never hoitus. - Anon

Men say women can't be trusted too far. Women say men can't be trusted too near. - Anon

Do you know what virgins eat for breakfast? No, I didn't think you did. - Anon

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - HL Menken

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. - Anon

What do you call people who use the rhythm method of contraception? Parents.

When a girl marries she trades the attention of many for the inattention of one. - Helen Rowland

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards. - Madeleine de Scudery

We sleep in separate rooms. We have our dinners apart. We take separate vacations. We are doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. - Rodney Dangerfield

The first lie detector was made from the rib of a man. And they have been unable to improve the model ever since. - Anon

There is no heaven save women, and no hell save marriage. - Thomas Webbe

A good marriage lasts forever. A bad one just seems to. - Anon

The major reason for divorce is that men who promised to die for their wives failed to deliver. - Anon

I have three pets at home which answer to the same purpose as a husband: a dog that growls all morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

When a man marries his mistress, she leaves a vacancy. - Anon

When a man steals your wife, there is no greater revenge than letting him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Maybe Snowflake is right.


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Most of those quotes, maybe all, come from a couple of books by the Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. The two I have read, years ago when they were more relevant to my pathetic little existence, are Kosher sex and Kosher adultery. They are great reading for couples of any faith.

I have just purchased from one of those amazon used booksellers The Ten Commandment Guide to Dating. So I cannot recommend it yet, but I like the rabbi. He also has a regular column on beliefnet.


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