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A Year


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It was Sept. 26, 2003 when I first heard the words "there is something else in there" from a doctor looking at my x-rays we'd had taken looking for pnuemonia which, at the time, we thought was causeing my muscle weakness and general malaise.

A month later, due to having to deal with the VA and being surrounded by a major fire, I had my full diagnosis and had decided on the treatment option I would follow.

I really had no expectations, at the time, of being alive this long. I remember telling Gay after the Super Bowl last year I was glad it was a good game because I probably wouldn't get to see another pro football game. And yet, here I am wondering just how badly the Chargers will do THIS week. :shock:

A quick update: Everything is pretty much the same as a posted a couple of weeks ago except for a worsening cough and more weakness in my legs. Good news is I started on Megace for my appitite and it's working quite well. It's nice to be able to want to eat again! :)

I was thinking about the "glass half full" reply I got to my last message. I took it as the compliment I knew it was ment to be, but for some reason it didn't seem to quite fit. After thinking about my life (especially this last year) I came to realize that I am blessed beyond belief that my glass (life) is never "half" anything. No matter how much I drink of that glass it always seems to be full to brim and just waiting for me to drink some more.

So much I've learned this last year. I guess the biggest lesson learned was that I CAN live a full life no matter what the situation might be. I also learned that I can NOT do it alone. And I've learned just how lucky I am in that, thanks to you folks here, I don't have to do it alone.


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You will never walk...er, SCOOT, alone.

Your good sense and plain old-fashioned courage are an inspiration to many here - and I just love you dearly!

May you have many more days in front of the tube watching tight ends and men slapping each others' butts!



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DeanCarl, You are always an attitude adjuster for me! Thank you so very much for sharing your outlook on life here. We are blessed by your presence, and you help me to see my "full to the brim" cup too. So glad you are enjoying eating and football, and that you have your wonderful Gay by your side!



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Dear Dean,

You've become a staple here on the board, someone who can be counted upon to level with the rest of us and put things in perspective. A year...that's such a milestone in all our lives - something none of us ever thought of before Lung Cancer became a reality in our lives.

Thank you for everything -- for responding when I first signed in on the board with little idea of what was going to happen, for keeping us focused on the little things that still mean everything despite this awful disease. I may not share your enthusiasm for football but Len sure does -- but he has hopes for the Giants - now THERE'S an optimist!

Keep coming back to us, please, when you can. And I'll even try to get Len to root for the Chargers in your honour.


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Dean Carl,

As always, I was glad to see your post. I look forward to reading any and everything you post. It sorta centers me. I love the idea of the full glass....always ready to take another sip. You are an inspiration for all of us and we love you for it.


P.S. So glad you have an appetite and are enjoying eating. Here's to many more super bowls.

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I printed out your last message, Dean, and it hangs above my desk at school, besides pictures of Becky and Katie. It reminds me each day of why I get out of bed each morning. It reminds me to take my girl to the swimming pool; it reminds me to take my troubles less seriously than my blessings; it reminds me to drink deeply from this cup of life that runs over the brim.

Amen, my friend, a thousand times amen. Thank you for checking in.


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What an inspiring guy you are. Reading your post has helped me to remember a lot of things I just have let slide and how very important they all are. How grateful I am for that cup of life and my ability to share with the likes of wonderful people like all of you. Thank you again for another life lesson. Congrats on the 1 yr. and wishing you many, many more!!! You are in my prayers.

God Bless You,


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