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disturbing dreams

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It's been 8 months since diagnosis now - the first emotional shocks, then the busy-ness, then some kind of - I don't know - new normal life. Picnics and shopping and walks and soooo many visitors. And still we are poking along. I think I have been "okay" for a while now. But the last two nights, nightmares. Last night I was working in a cancer ward and there were people I knew in there ... I was working so hard but the need was so great ... I don't know why I am even commenting, just a caregiver status thing I guess. Somewhere inside I am not exactly "okay." Anyway, howdy. Sure am glad the day has come and the dreams receed into an oblivious fog.


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I know where you're coming from about those nightmares. For a while there after TBone died, I dreamed every night that I was still sitting there with him that last night, holding his hand and telling him how much we loved him and that everything was going to be okay, that we knew he hadn't given up, etc. - ANYTHING to ease his mind, cause I knew he could hear me. I still have that dream every now and then, 60 days later, and there are even some DAYS when the "dream" replays itself over and over in my head. Suffice it to say those aren't fun days. Back when it was happening every night, and I found myself dreading bedtime, I began to rely on Tylenol PM to help me sleep. Still have to use it sometimes, when the thoughts pile up at the end of the day.

Here's hoping those night demons stop visiting you.

Praying for us all,


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