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Alex started Three Trees...


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Alex (8 1/2) started 3 Trees tonight and thank God he liked it. This is a place for "grieving children" and man they sure know what they're doing. I'm so very grateful to have this place here for him. a safe place where he can say what he wants to say.

I've told Alex since Robert died he could say whatever he wanted to me, no matter what it was. He's talked pretty freely I THOUGHT! Tonight one of the volunteers tonight said one thing she hears time and time again from the children is that they don't want to share their feelings with their parent(s) because they don't want to make them cry, or make them sadder. I shared this with Alex on our drive home and he said - that's exactly how I feel! Well, being a woman, and his mother, I watned to pull the car over and have a huge chat! Alex, being a male and 8 believed he'd pass on that option! (HA) Anyway, it was good to have a "valve opened" so to speak and know that perhaps his emotions will start flowing. He seems "perfectly happy" but I know pain is there hiding waiting to rear it's ugly head and attack and I want to be as ready as possible.

I'm so thankful to have his little man in my life. He makes every breath I take worth breathing, every step I make worth making and I know I'm so blessed by God to have him.

Well, just had to share my good news - feeling upbeat tonight about this huge step for me and Alex.

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Good for you to get Alex into a program like this. Our genders are reversed, and Katie is a lot younger than Alex, so we have a lot of differences. But I think the most important thing is that Alex have some venue to express himself. He is old enough to feel the burden of being the man of the house and to be protective of you. It is so much for that little angel to carry. So make sure he knows he doesn't have to. Be emotionally expressive; I don't think there is anything to be gained from repressing feelings, but also show him a lot of determination and strength. Because we all know you have that, too.

But don't be surprised if he needs other avenues to express himself. Do not feel threatened if he tells people at this program or at school things he does not tell you. Of course, you want to be his outlet, but the most important thing is that he has one (and hopefully many). Katie does express a lot to me, but she also has expressed some different things to my mother, and I am so grateful that she is there for Katie, too.

Of course, I am anything but a professional in this, and you know you and Alex better than I do, so take whatever part of this advice makes sense and discard the rest.

You are doing such a good job. Robert is proud of you. Keep up the good work.


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Just wanted to say that Alex is also lucky to have you as a mother.

I know you didn't get a choice about being where you are right now, but you did get to choose HOW to go through it. I read every post from you because you inspire me. After I read what you write, many times I will call my husband to tell him that I love him. Or I'll send an e-mail to my son or daughter to ask what's happening in their lives. Or I'll spend extra time with my granddaughter playing and hugging her.

It may not mean a lot to you, given the horrific heartache you're suffering, but you've made a difference in my life. Thank you.


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