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Points for the gals!


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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish.............................................49

Adventurous.................Slept with everyone

Athletic......................................No tits

Average looking....................Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure......................On medication

Feminist..........................................Fat

Free spirit....................................Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun..........................................Annoying

New-Age..............Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned.............................No BJs

Open-minded.................................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy drunk

Professional....................................witch

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large frame....................! ........ .....Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

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Another one for women:

I don't care= I sure as heck do care! And you better figure out what it is I care about! (Which restaraunt, which movie, etc.)

Another one for men:

What would you like to do or where would you like to go?= I know what I want to do or where I want to go, and you better guess the right answer!

Which is why, "I don't care" is often the best response.

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