Bubba, the Priest, and the Ponies

[cindi o'h]

Bubba was from Mississippi and was a hard-shell Southern Baptist. He loved to sneak away to the race track.

One day, he was there betting on the ponies and losing his shirt when he noticed a priest step onto the track and bless the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and Behold his horse--a very long shot--won the race. Bubba was most interested to see what the priest did the next race. Sure enough, he watched the priest step out onto the track as the horses for the 5th race lined up, and placed a blessing on the forehead of one of the horses. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest had blessed won the race.

Bubba made a bee-line for the window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though another long shot, the horse the priest blessed won the race. Bubba collected his winnings and anxiously waited to see which horse the priest bestowed his blessing for the 6th race. The priest showed, blessed a horse, Bubba bet on it, and it won! Bubba felt elated! As the day went on, the priest continued blessing one of the horses, and it always came in first. Bubba began to pull in some serious money, and by the last race, he knew his wildest dreams were going to come true. He made a quick stop at the ATM, withdrew BIG money and awaited the priest's blessing that would tell him what horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the priest stepped out onto the track before the last race and blessed the forehead, eyes, ears, and hooves of one of the horses. Bubba bet every cent, and watched the horse come in dead last. He was dumbfounded...He made his way to the track and when he found the priest he demanded, "What happened, Father? All day you blessed horses and they won. The last race, you blessed a horse and he lost. Now I have lost all my savings, thanks to you!!"

The priest nodded wisely and said, "That is the problem with you Protestants...You can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the Last Rites."