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BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

YAWN: Also, the only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but do not read.

WORRY: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.

ATOM BOMB: An invention to end all inventions.

PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

OPTIMIST: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

RUMOR: News that travels at the speed of sound.

DICTIONARY: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

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