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Bumps in the Path.

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Dean Carl,

As usual, when I see your posts I stop and read them. This one was beautiful. I wish you a little more soft grass and level walks for a change. Keep in touch with us. You are a very special person. Thanks.


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Thanks for sharing that imagery, Dean Carl. You are a truly gifted writer.

I'm praying that those bumps on your path become smooth.

Thinking of you daily,


Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02

5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci

06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction

07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum

09/03 ct shows ca spread

09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll

12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll

02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT.

03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar.

04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy.

04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging.

05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms.

06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia.

06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well.

06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine.

06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am.

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Wow the way you can write you should have been a writer instead of a bus driver. You can make the reader see exactly what you are seeing and feel what you are feeling. You simply amaze me. I pray you continue to see the beauty and and that your road less traveled becomes a road that is of the finest sand beneath your feet. You mean so much to all of us Dean and we all admire you.

God Bless You Always,


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Dean and Gay,

I was thinking of you both today and came back to reread this post you wrote last month. I pray that you are both enjoying each other and the in the words of a wise man, enjoying "the wonder all around" you.

Much love and prayers,


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I was walking quite comfortably along this path less travelled when suddenly the path turned upward at a steep angle and what had been smooth soft grass changed to rocky ground. Being the macho egotist that I am I forged ahead regardless and soon found myself with twisted ankles, bruised and battered skin from falling on the rocks and completely exhausted even tho I'd only travelled a short way. Discouraged, I found a large rock and sat there dejected and confused. This was, after all, my choosen path. Choosen because I had thought, for me, it would be the better of the choices I had. Now I wasn't too sure.

After a few minutes there was a movment to my right. A small green gecko lizard had hopped up on the warm rock. He seemed quite interested in a line of ants just below him and soon was enjoying his miday meal.

I then heard some chirping in the trees beside this path. Turned out a family of song birds were squabbiling over some seeds from the trees. I'm not sure how any of them had time to eat because as soon as one of them landed to grab a seed three others would come hollering after him and chase him off. The scene brought the first smile to my face in quite a long time.

Suddenly the gecko disapeared and the birds became very quiet. I looked around to see what was happening but saw nothing until I looked up. There, criss crossing the sky was the biggest red tail hawk I'd ever seen. I sat and marveled at his majestic command of the air, moving back and forth, up and down, without ever seeming to move his wings. Suddenly he dropped from the sky in an almost vertical dive to the ground. I couldn't see him for a bit as he was behind the trees, but in a moment he flew up with what looked like some small animal in his talons.

And as I sat there on that path less travelled and day turned to night I realized that no matter how rough the road benieth my feet may be there is wonder all around me if I just stop for a moment, lift my eyes from the rocks, and LOOK.



I have a practical suggestion for you (by the way, you write beautifully!)

When walking became a huge struggle for me, I went and got myself an electric scooter. It gave me back my life.

They are available even on places like e-bay. Mine is portable and goes with me everywhere I go!

Just something to consider.

Edited to add: I was told by a few nice people here that you have already gotten a scoter. Blind in one eye and can't see out of the other, or I'd have realized you had a chair in the avatar.

But, for any other people out there, that find themselves getting weaker, they really are a Godsend.


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