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Showing results for tags 'healthy anxiety'.
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Hello All, It's been a while since I've been on this site. In all honesty, I have been racked with anxiety for months now and really just need a place to get it off my chest. My dad is in the late stages of NSCLC, we moved him to hospice last week. It has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. My dad has fluid in his lungs that gets drained every other day or so. He is finally not in a lot of pain. He's on a myriad of medicines and he is getting better sleep, but he is also becoming increasingly confused. He stares off for minutes at a time. He forgets what he is doing or saying in a very short period of time and he doesn't know where he is when he wakes up. On top of all of this, I am an anxiety sufferer, specifically healthy anxiety. I have had an irrational fear of dying young since I was like 8 years old and watched a documentary on kids with leukemia. About three or four years ago I was crippled by the thought that I had lymphoma. I lost weight, got night sweats, even thought I found a lump in my neck. I went to the doctor all the time until I was finally too afraid to go. Now my fixation is on ovarian cancer. As I watch my dad deteriorate physically and mentally, I become increasingly convinced that I will get cancer too. My anxiety causes very real symptoms, and can be incredibly distracting. I am just so overwhelmed. I wish cancer didn't incite such fear in me, but I've watched too many people die from it. Does anyone have similar problems? I'm scared that every time I talk to my dad it will be the last time, but I'm also terrified to suffer the same fate. The things I can control, I do right. I don't smoke or drink excessively. I eat a vegetarian, non-processed diet. I make as much of my own products as possible, but there are plenty of people who have done all the right things and still get cancer. Thank you all for letting me use this space as a place to vent my fears and worries.
