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I'm so sorry for what you've been going through--the loss of your father in the middle of your husband's issues. Is your husband seeing a palliative care doc? If not, I suggest consulting with one. In case you're not familiar with palliative care, it's NOT the same as hospice. Palliative care seeks to alleviate the effects of an illness and/or the side effects of treatment and to help the patient improve their quality of life. A person can have palliative care while they are receiving treatment for the disease.
I second Tom's suggestion that you arrange care for your husband so you can take a short break now and again.