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I answered your first post in an other forum and I'll not repeat that discussion here.
Welcome to powerlessness central. At least you consulted with a mental health professional; I tried to tough it out and failed miserably. Unfortunately, lung cancer treatment is often a long slog. Mine was three years and a month of active treatment but since March 2007, I've achieved no evidence of disease (NED). If I can get there, so can you.
Let's dwell on wrong decisions and fear. You have two options: treat or don't treat. You chose treatment first time around and you'll likely choose it again. As I see it, the only possible wrong decision is to not treat. Choosing treatment will not eliminate future uncertainty, health system navigation stress, and cancer anxiety (scanziety). These will all remain whether you decide to treat or not treat. I can't recommend a CA retreat center, but I'd opt for a week of solitary camping in Yosemite National Park. When away from population centers, I am awed by looking at stars painting the night sky. My problems just melt away.
Yes, I can relate to lung cancer craziness. I think we all can for it never gets better or easier, but it can get crazier. Let's hope things stay just plain crazy.
Stay the course.
Wait and see or precision radiation? I'd choose precision radiation. In fact, I did and it likely saved my life. One millimeter in 4 months is not a lot but I know it feels gigantic. I recall those agonizing scan consultation when we'd go over waxing and waning of my tumors. Then we had the here today, gone tomorrow consultations. Recurrences just plain suck. The only improvement in the suck is new treatment modalities that didn't exist when I was in the recurrence swamp.
From my understand, the differences between proton therapy and precision radiation are two: proton radiation kills tumors, including cells on the margin, and stops, and it costs about 10X that of precision radiation. Both fry tumors; CyberKnife or SBRT goes through the body, and proton therapy stops right after the tumor. But precision radiation works; I'm alive to testify!
Stay the course.
Hey Charles. I’m having the itchy swollen eyes issue. Hopefully it’s my allergies, of course it may be a side effect. Another person I work with is having the same symptoms from her allergies-she’s not a patient. Wondering what you are doing for it and what your doc says about it.