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I'm sorry that I have no solid experience with Brain Mets so I cannot help you with your question on whether or not surgery is the right way to remove the tumor. The good news is that there will likely be somebody here who can share some experience or knowledge with you. Best of luck going forward with your Mom's treatment.
Sorry to hear you are in such pain. Oxycodone does little for my pain and makes me not feel good, just in a general sense. After my lobectomy the docs used Oxycodone and then (after I complained) switched me to 600mg advil/1000mg tylenol and it worked like a charm. It also allowed me to have a clear head which helped me to get up and around more. Perhaps they can do something like that for you. I hope that you see improvement soon.
Wow! what a hell of a way to run a business. Knowing how unresponsive some of these insurance companies are now I am even more afraid of a time when the federal government might take over our healthcare. So glad you got your problem worked out.