heartofthesouth

So sorry for your loss. I lost my Nanny on the same day to NSCLC. It has been a very trying time for our family and I wish your family the best. God Bless. Amber in Alabama

the wake is today at 1:00 and the funeral will be tomorrow. there is a chance the funeral will be cancelled because of the hurricane.

Most of you know me from the Introducing section of the site. Nanny passed away this morning at around 2:30 with the family all around her. Tomorrow would have been one month since she was first diagnosed.

The family was with her this morning as she took her last breath. She had a very hard night but she is suffering no more. She passed around 2:30 this morning. Tomorrow would have been one month to the day of when she was diagnosed.

Well I was supposed to be going to Texas this weekend with Scott to see his family but my aunt called me this morning and said I probably needed to cancel my trip...here's what is happening... Nanny was brought home from the hospital yesterday by ambulance. The dr's have taken her off all her medications. No more Dr's appointments, no more radiation, no more scans and no more blood tests. Her body has given up and everything they were trying was just making her worse. Yesterday all she ate was one bite of an egg and a couple sips of Boost. The Dr's said not to force her to eat anything because of the swelling in her throaght. My family is flying in from Washington because at this point it is no longer a matter of months. It's now looking like it could be any day. Nanny was saying last night that she talked to my Uncle Jean and he was coming to see her...He passed away before I was even born. We are starting the planning for her memorial service and trying to prepare ourselves but how do you prepare for something like this...it's just too much too soon. I never expected it to go this quickly.

Well, Nanny is back in the hospital. She's having a really hard time swallowing anything, she's dehydrated and very weak. Her Coumadin is at 11! Which as you all know is waaaaay too high. She has been admitted to the hospital and we really dont know much as of right now. I will update sometime on Monday after we talk to the dr's. By the way...we all made it through T.S. Fay ok. The wind has been kind of nutty and the rain makes it interesting trying to get back and forth to the hospital doing 30 MPH.

So this past Saturday Scott drove me out to spend the day with my Nanny. She was very tired from all the people that came to see her...at least she knows she is well loved! So everyone called it an early day so she could get some rest. My truck is finally fixed so I was able to drive out to my aunt's house today to spend the next three days here helping take care of my Nanny so my aunt can get some rest which I will be doing each week. The mood swings that Nanny is going through is a little hard to deal with. I know it "isn't her" when she snaps at me but you can't help but get a little hurt when it does happen....then the very next minute she is telling you she loves you. I guess I just have to take the good with the good and ignore the bad. Well, I'm on the midnight shift as far as helping out so I'm going to go check on Nanny. Talk to you all soon and hope you are all doing well! Lots of love... Amber

There hasn't been anything new to update on. Nanny has been going through her radiation each day and getting more and more tired as each day passes by. Her hair is starting to fall out but we already have her wig so when it comes time she has it. Truck still isn't fixed...it's been raining every day here so my dad and boyfriend haven't been able to work on it yet. This weekend my boyrfriend (scott) and I will be going out to see Nanny and spend the day with her. I can't wait to see her. I'll update more if I find anything else out.

Well we did have some good news today! Nanny's stats were finally good enough for her to come home! She was so excited. My dang truck is broke down so it looks like it is going to be late Monday or Tuesday before I can go see her I'm going to try to spend a night or two a week out at my aunt's house to help take care of Nanny as soon as the truck is up and running...that way it's not too much strain put on my aunt. I am beginning to start realizing that death does not have to be such an aweful thing. It can actually be in it's own way beautiful. For once we actually know that there isn't much time left so we are able to wrap up all things that need to be said and apologize for things in the past. Also you start to appreciate the simple moments. Like the night Nanny and I were watching the opening ceremony for the Olympics. To others it might not have ment anything but to me it ment the world. You take stock of what in life is important and what should just be pushed aside. It's a wake up call. To spend time with your loved ones and not to put it off till tomorrow because you honestly never know if tomorrow will ever come. I know you all already know this because you are already battling your own battles...but for me...I'm learning as each day goes by. One day at a time. I'm still young and have a lot of growing up to do..but this is speeding up the transition just a bit Not saying that learning all of this has made things any easier...it's still just as hard. I'm just able to understand things a little bit better I guess. Able to look at the situation with a different set of eyes. And as always...Thank you all for helping me through all of this. Your words of encouragement mean the world to me and my family!

She had been going downhill for quite some time but the Dr's all kept saying it was just her heart...they never checked her lungs until last week. I'm hoping she will make it till at least the end of the year...I would love to be able to have one last Christmas with her. She seems to kind of act like it will be within the next couple months though and I am hoping for longer.

Well I just got home and had my questions answered while I was at the hospital about donating her body. The college will have her body for one year and then we will receive her ashes. I am so very proud of her for doing this. I don't know...there are some mixed emotions but either way we are proud of her. She asked today if we understood that she was going to pass soon...I'm not going to say it was easy to sit there and hear those words come from her mouth. We watched the olympics and she had a gleam in her eye and said, this will be my last time watching them and I'm glad it was so pretty...(the opening ceremony). It's so hard not to cry. I have to leave the room often. Most of the day was spent laughing about old times and strolling down memory lane. It was nice. She's getting confused every now and then and the Dr's did warn us about this. In home hospice care came by and talked to use and we will be keeping her at home. Her stats are still low so we don't know when she will be coming home. Hopefully soon.

Unfortunately I don't have insurance and the free clinic said it's not a medical emergency so it would take over a month to get me an appointment. I have been eating very healthy and drinking lots of water...water is actually all i drink except for the occasional cup of coffee. When they brought me to the ER when I collapsed at the hospital they said my blood pressure was perfect and so was my blood sugar...so I can't even begin to think what the heck is going on with me...hopefully it is just stress. I'm going to be heading up to the hospital here in a little bit to sit with my Nanny. My mom just called me...my Nanny has decided that when she passes she is donating her body to Science and signed the papers yesterday evening. While my family is sooooo proud of her for wanting to further NSCLC research we have been told that it could take a month or maybe even longer before her body is released back to us for a funeral. That part my family is not very happy about. Has anyone dealth with this before? Or do you know if that is a pretty accurate time frame? And last but not least. Thank you all for talking to me. It's the only comfort besides my prayers that I have been able to get whith everything going on.

I don't know...I guess I just feel like if I am there with her I can some how protect her and I know that's not being realistic. I guess it's just guilt trying to sneak it's way in since I wasn't there.

I have a website of my own that I keep up so my family and friends all over the country can see pictures and know what has been going on here localy. Since my Nanny was recently diagnosed I have added a section on NSCLC to educate my friends and family and to also let everyone keep up with her battle....I am still working on the new section but I am looking for music to put on there. any suggestions that would be fitting with the topic???

So I stayed home from the hospital (pretty much against my will) to get some rest today. Yet even with the rest I was walking down the hall and blacked out again. Twice in one week and its starting to worry me. I was getting kind of worried because none of my family had called to tell me how my Nanny was doing today. Finally around 9:00 p.m. my uncle called to tell me she had taken a bad turn. Her stats are really low...dang it I knew I should have went to the hospital. The Dr's have now said there will be no Chemo. Her body just can not handle it. They will be doing 16 sessions of full brain radiation and 14 sessions only on her right lung. They don't want to do too much radiation...they just want to shrink down one of the masses in her lungs to try to help her breath a little easier. She has now had three sessions of full brain radiation and one session on her right lung. We were hoping she would be coming home soon but now with her taking a bad turn they do not know when or if that will happen. They had her do a living will today and she has asked that she not be brought back or kept on any life support.