cjolaw
-
Posts
51 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Content Type
Downloads
Store
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Blogs
Events
Posts posted by cjolaw
-
-
I am so sorry you are having to go through this. If you would like to talk/ask questions, I would be more than willing to share my experiences with you. I just pray you and your family can find peace during this time. My thoughts are with you.
-
I understand... I'm 31 and mom was 55 when she died. Never in a million years did I think I would be raising my three kids without her. Not in a million years did I think I would be visiting her grave at this age. Not in a million years did I think that I would not get to sit and drink wine with her on the weekends. Not in a million years did I think she would be gone so soon. I miss her. It's been almost six months...I'm not sure that could even be possible.
-
For those of you who followed journalist Leroy Sievers cancer blog on NPR...it is with a heavy heart to learn that he passed away yesterday.
-
I am so sorry for your pain. I am glad you could be there for her. Please accept my deepest sympathy.
-
I am so sorry you are going through this...it hurts so much.
I will pray for your family tonight.
-
I've been a lurker for a few months since my mother passed away in April. I just haven't known what to say or what to do. She's gone snd I watched her struggle and die and everything goes back to normal??? I take care of the kids, go to work, laugh at jokes, cry during sappy songs... everyone expects it to be normal. It will never be "normal" again.
I am having such a difficult time grasping the struggle of humanity. My mother was beautiful, she was strong, she was kind and she was thoughtful, yet she experienced pain and suffering like I've never seen. Yes, hospice was a great help, but yet she struggled and for what? I just simply don't get it. I can't accept it.
I close my eyes and I see her last moments, it's still so clear...her face, her hair, her eyes... it's all so clear.
I want to push the rewind button on my life. I want to go back to November of 2006 and never hear the words "your mother has advanced lung cancer...the prognosis is not very good"
I'm sorry for the crazy rant, it just hurts so much.
-
-
I plan to plant a flowering tree. They are beautiful, just like my mother was.
I don't know that I want to think about it. My first mother's day without her. Actually I can't think about it right now. I'm numb and I don't know that I'll ever have feeling again.
Where is my mother when I need to get her advice on what to do with my kids? Where is she when I have had a bad day or a good day for that matter? Where is she when I want to go shopping? She's not here and it's not fair.
-
Mrs. Steve) Nancy J. Solum, age 55, of Florence, SD, passed away on Tuesday, April 8, 2008 in her home in Florence. Funeral services will be on Monday, April 14, 2008 at 10:30 a.m. at the New Helgen Lutheran Church in Florence, SD. Reverend Gary Anderson will officiate. Talia Pasara will be the soloist. Interment will be in the Helgen Cemetery near Florence, SD. Visitation will be on Sunday, from 4:00-8:00 p.m. at the Wight, Comes & Sogn Funeral Chapel in Watertown, and on Monday, prior to services at the church.
Honorary Pallbearers will be all of her Shopko teammates.
Active Pallbearers will be Rita and Steve Wishard, Karin and Gary Hartje, Judy Flaten, Kathy Tollefson, David Solum and Paul Solum.
Nancy Jo Solum, the daughter of Hulbert U. and Jean (Lamb) Behrens was born on November 25, 1952 in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She was raised in Sioux Falls, graduating from Lincoln High School in 1971. She then graduated from Lake Area Technical Institute in 1972.
On December 29, 1972 she married Steve Solum in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. They lived in Watertown until moving to the Solum family farm east of Florence. Nancy was a stay at home mom until going to work for several years as a teacher's aid in Florence and the Watertown Middle School.
In 1991, Nancy began working at Shopko. She held many positions at Shopko and was the Customer Service Manager when illness forced her retirement.
Nancy was a member of the New Helgen Lutheran Church. She enjoyed reading, shopping, being by the pool, traveling and spending time with her family.
She was preceded in death by her father.
Grateful for having shared her life are her husband of 35 years, Steve of Florence; four daughters, Angie (Tom) Kelly of Clark, Carrie (Dave) Law of Brookings, Tracy (Derek) Hlavacek of Wallace, and Tara (John) Hartman of Bradley; her mother, Jean Behrens of Watertown; one brother, Rev. Steven Behrens and his wife, Rev. Hazel Behrens of Hazen, ND; two sisters, Sally (Don) Solum of Tea, SD, and Patsy (Ron) Schmidt of Watertown; her mother-in-law, Elenor Solum and her husband Dick Nuttbrock of Watertown; and seven grandchildren with one more on the way.
-
Letting Go
in GRIEF
I would like to thank you for the support you have given me over the last several months.
My mother let go of this world last night and she looked beautiful even after.
She was the mother of four girls, all of which were dedicated to her care. She was an incredible grandma to seven children, plus one on the way. She was loved by many, and was a very loyal friend. She was the love of my father's life and his best friend. She was the strongest woman I have ever known.
She is now in peace; and I rejoice that. My heart aches, but I am thankful for all the time I have gotten to spend with her. God is certainly good, even through the rain.
-
My mother is nearing the end of her life and the hospice nurses have indicated that the time is getting close. I have some questions and maybe some of you can help.
1. Her BP is 142/106, heart rate 115, legs are beginning to look a little pale and blotchy. How long can she live with her heart rate that high...is this process hours or days?
2. We're keeping her on oxygen on a 3, are we prolonging her life and causing her suffering? Maybe she's not quite ready to go...She still can kind of respond (mumbles), and occasionally asks for a sip of water.
3. She seems to have been pretty agitated the last couple of days. Hospice was giving her ativan in her dilauded syringe driver, but the line kept getting plugged because ativan is thick? They switched the ativan to haldol plus oral ativan and xanax orally. It doesn't seem to work as well as the ativan did. Are there any other options to help with the agitation. She still can kind of respond, and occasionally asks for a sip of water.
Thanks for any help you can offer with my questions.
Carrie
-
My mom recently entered home hospice and it has been a God-send. Prior to them coming into our home, mom was being carted to the doctor every day or so for something or other, she was uncomfortable, she was tired and honestly, she likes the hospice nurses who take the time to listen to her and focus on her and her pain or issues.
Know that you are in my thoughts...
-
Robbi,
I am so so very sorry. Please accept my condolences. You and your family are in my thoughts.
-
Robbi,
I'm saying a prayer for you right now.
-
GROUP HUG!!!! And a prayer
-
I'm not sure that the fear ever really goes away, at least it hasn't for me. I decided a while ago though that I wasn't going to ask "how long" because it didn't matter to me. I wanted to spend as much quality time with my mom whether it was 3, 6 or 18 months. And I have, there are no regrets, we've talked like we have never talked before, I've seen things in my mother that I didn't know existed. It has been a beautiful gift.
For the first time yesterday I asked "how long" to Dr. West on Onctalk. Yet, it still doesn't matter.
I pray for peace for you. This is a difficult time, a very difficult time. And the fear of the unknown probably never goes away...
I have found great joy and peace in the support I have found here on LCSC. I hope you find the same.
-
I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that there is a large group of people who support you here at LCSC.
-
My mom entered hospice more than a week ago; and seemed to be doing pretty well. Unfortunately, there has been a dramatic decline this past week. Her blood pressure has dropped; her urine seems darker, she is sleeping all but a few hours a day... I don't know that I was prepared for it to go this fast. She is still eating and drinking, using the bathroom herself and sitting up at the table when she eats. She even went to church today. So I don't think her death is imminent, but I can't imagine she has long.
Unfortunately the docs and hospice personnel suspect she has brain mets now as she has double vision and she has done a few thing that are a little "out of character".
She has started finding some peace and is even planning her funeral. In a strange way this has made things a little easier to handle, knowing that she has found peace.
I looked back on something that I wrote quite a while ago when we were waiting for some test results. I thought I would share it with you all. I look at all that has happened and now without a doubt believe in grace. So much has happened since then...
Where's the Grace in This?
The struggle and questions stay close to me. I
often wonder if anyone is listening, if my frailty as
a human being is somehow causing her pain, or if my
sinful ways won't allow me to ask for a miracle.
Tonight, inevitably she waits in anticipation, knowing that tomorrow's test results could yield promise or sorrow, fear of the unknown or life...
I can't bear the wait...it's a selfish feeling. I want to know that she will be by my side offering her ear when I have a frustrating day or laughing about the mundane happenings of life. I don't want to lose that, I'm not ready to lose that.
And then there are the days I am convinced she will be healed, that God will hold her so close that she will feel the purest of heart's beating.
But then I am stopped in my tracks. I just can't
understand the struggle.
Life has been so easy, so good, so pure up to this
point. The pain feels so real, the threat of death
stings me, I can't explain the grief I feel, even
as she lives...
I know the pain. It's mute. I'm walking down a
grey-walled desolate hall to nowhere. I scream and my
voice echo's deep inside, but no one hears. Does God
hear? Is it his voice that is echoing?
I pray for a miracle, and yet I know I don't get to
make the decision.
Why is the struggle worth it? Belief is such a foreign concept. I want to feel it. I want to smell it. I want to breathe it. But I can't. I can only experience afew moments of grace. A few moments of family. Those moments however, seem too small...too short.
Please don't judge me. This is a struggle for me and
for my family, with up's and down's with anger raging
and love abounding all at the same time. I believe,
don't get me wrong, but where is the grace in this?
-
I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
-
This just put a smile on my face. I have never met any of you, so the pictures are so much fun to see.
-
I will be keeping you in my thoughts!
My mom was diagnosed with malignant pleural effusion. We brought her to Mayo and they inserted a pleurex catheter. It is a wonderful contraption for people with large pleural effusions!!! She was able (with assistance from my dad) to drain her own fluid every day without going to the doctor. It helped prevent alot of complications I believe. Once she started chemo and the fluid stopped accumulating (the first chemo) she had the catheter removed.
I wish you the best.
-
-
Always know that you have support here!
-
We met with my mom's doctor yesterday...truly expecting it to be a horrible meeting. He told my mom that she needs a little "break" from chemo, yet discussed hospice. A little break? Part of me is glad he didn't crush her spirits, but part of me is upset because he knows the truth. Maybe, just maybe, he thinks it is possible to do another round of chemo? That would be her fifth line treatment. I'm not sure what to think now.
Working on a Research Paper...need your help!
in GENERAL
Posted
I am not sure if anyone remembers me, but I used to be a regular poster here on LCHELP.org. My mother, Nancy, died about a year and half ago from lung cancer after a 18 month journey with the disease. I haven't posted in a very long time. Initially because my heart couldn't do it, and then it seemed as though I had let too much time pass. I do regularly visit the message boards and keep up with the individuals I came to know through posting... they don't me
but I know them. Unfortunately, I have been saddened by a few deaths.
This post is to ask for your help. I am working on a research paper about the correlation of media coverage/awareness/and lack of federal research funding for lung cancer. I was hoping to include some personal viewpoints of lung cancer survivors on media coverage in relation to lung cancer. Also-if you have ever felt there was a stigma attached to your lung cancer diagnosis.
Obviously, I have had my own experiences in that arena answering questions about my own mother.
Just a quick update... my family is doing ok. My father has met a wonderful woman, she now lives with him and they are very happy. My sisters and I all like her very much. I still have very low moments remembering her, remembering her death and just trying to move on--because as some of you know, there's not many people who want to hear those stories. I also have some beautiful memories and got to experience a very vivid dream of her, which provided me some comfort.
If anyone is willing to share his/her thoughts on this subject, I would greatly appreciate it!
Carrie