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ChristineT

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Posts posted by ChristineT

  1. You did the right thing. I never brought my daughter to see my father during his last days. She is 2 also. I thought about it, and now I regret it. So, see, you would have regretted it either way because it is such a difficult thing to lose someone you love so much you second guess everything you did for LONG while.

    I hope your this post finds you feeling better.

  2. It is hard for people who have never experienced a loss of someone close to them or gone through losing a loved one to cancer to understand sometimes. She may not even realize she is hurting your feelings. I would just come right out and tell her next time that you really can't handle/don't want to talk about lung cancer, etc. It sounds like she is just pulling this out of a hat, like you said, she doesn't know anything about this person's cancer. Like someone else said, she may be doing it to try and get closer to you not realizing how much it hurts you.

  3. Wow, I haven't posted on here since my dad passed but reading the timeline in my sig and seeing his picture with my daughter is hard. I HATE this disease. I am still so angry. I still hate that it took him so quickly, we had so much hope.

    I am so sad coming on here and reading the bad news but so overjoyed at the good news. May all of you and your loved ones win the fight against this horrible disease.

    Thanks for listening and God bless.

  4. Thank you all again for your kindness. I was tearing up reading your responses. It is hard for me to come back here as you can imagine. I do want to stay and offer support wherever I can to all of you wonderful people. It just may take a little while for me to be able to come here as often as I was.

    God bless!

  5. Thank you ALL for your thoughts and prayers. They mean SO much to me and my family.

    We are coping, I guess it's never easy. I just can't help but feel like I let dad down. I found his drs, went to his appts, helped guied his treatment and it didn't even matter. I know, I don't want to hear 'you did what you thought was best' and I am not looking for people to feel sorry for me. I just wanted him to have a chance to fight this.

    God bless all of you living with this horrible disease. I pray you all conquer it.

  6. My dad passed away on Tuesday. It wasn't even 2 months after his diagnosis. You can read the story in my other posts. Basically, the pnuemonia turned into sepsis and he went into septic shock. His kidneys failed and his heart gave out.

    This is so hard. He never even had the chance to fight. He had such a good attitude. I just feel so defeated. Not to mention sad, mad, etc. This just really stinks.

  7. Dad now has pnuemonia. He is doing horribly. Oxygen levels are in the 60's. They have been radiating the tumor daily and now they want to add a very low dose of chemo to help with the radiation. I am not 100% on board with this idea and plan to speak with the dr tomorrow. He is SO weak already, but they HAVE to get that other lung open. I was told today by my freind who is an oncology nurse at the hospital that it is "do or die time". *Sigh*

    I am so devastated. Plwase send thoughts and prayers. Thank you.

  8. *Posted Tuesday, 9/25*

    SO, dad had his first chemo treatment last wednesday, everything seemed to be fine until he started getting abdominal pains. Decided to take a compazine and the pains got TERRIBLE. He blamed it on the pill. Dr said try the Zofran. Dad would not take it. He stopped eating and drinking and suffered through Friday night in pain. Perked up a little on Saturday and then suffered all Saturday night and looked like living hell by by Sunday. Called the dr, they said bring him to ER.

    Well, dad has had a hernia for about 5 years now. Was supposed to have it operated on 2 years ago but didn't, and has blown it off since then. The coughing from the cancer started to bother it and I guess it got to the point that it caused an intestional blockage.

    After tons of tests and being admitted to the respitory ICU early Monday morning, they decided they had no choice but to operate lastnight. I was so worried he wouldn't make it through the operation but he did and surgeon said everything went great and he tolerated surgery well.

    Today he is in the surgical ICU and on a ventilator. It is horrible. He can't talk or move because his arms are tied down. The pulmonary dr told us his left lung (where his cancer is) is not looking good and had lots of fluid. He performed a bronchoscopy today and tried to suction out the fluid but could only get so much because of the tumor. The follow up xray shows the fluid is basically still there. Now the plan is to take him off the vent and get him moving around tomorrow to get the fluid up and out of the lung.

    *Update*

    Dad is STILL on the damn ventilator and we have had one stroke of bad luck after the next. Every time they have tried to get him off the vent he FREAKS. He claims he can't breathe and they are going to kill him. The thing is, he is breathing on his own, he just needs oxygen. So the plan was to get him off and put him on oxygen. Well they changed the settings to start the weaning process and he FREAKS. I am not sure at this point if it is anxiety or if he really can't breathe?

    The tumor is completely blocking his left lung which has partially collapsed. The decided to treat him with radiation a few times to shrink the tumor just enough to get the stent in his lung to open it up. The messed up part is that he has only had ONE radiation treatment so far. They tried last thursday but he got too anxious and they had to stop. Friday they got a treatment in. But, did you know they don't do radiation on the weekends? I mean, come on! The longer his lung stays collapsed the more problems we could have.

    They have also talked about lasering it or using brachytherapy. The hospital he is in still does not have state approval for brachytherapy so barring a miracle from the state of NJ :roll: that probably won't happen.

    I can't STAND these drs and hospitals anymore. I feel like they have done nothing for him this past week as he lays, not able to move, not able to talk, not able to eat, and as he gets weaker and more defeated every day. It is horrible to watch. Oh, and he is at the Cancer Institute of NJ (what a joke). Can you tell I am losing my patience?

    Please, please send thoughts that tomorrow something goes RIGHT and they can open up the lung and get him off the vent. I am assuming at this point that is the only way they can get him off. I am going early tomorrow to catch all his drs when they make rounds. If you don't catch them when they come around you are screwed.

    Thanks for any thoughts, prayers, input, etc!

  9. Thank you everyone. He is still on the vent and are going to decide in the morning what to do. I think they may just take him off and see how he does and take it from there. The problem is the tumor is giving him diminished lung capacity and now with this thick fluid (the nurse said it was like cement) the lung is just not functioning. And they can't get it suctioned because the tumor is in the way.

    Thank you all again.

  10. SO, dad had his first chemo treatment last wednesday, everything seemed to be fine until he started getting abdominal pains. Decided to take a compazine and the pains got TERRIBLE. He blamed it on the pill. Dr said try the Zofran. Dad would not take it. He stopped eating and drinking and suffered through Friday night in pain. Perked up a little on Saturday and then suffered all Saturday night and looked like living hell by by Sunday. Called the dr, they said bring him to ER.

    Well, dad has had a hernia for about 5 years now. Was supposed to have it operated on 2 years ago but didn't, and has blown it off since then. The coughing from the cancer started to bother it and I guess it got to the point that it caused an intestional blockage.

    After tons of tests and being admitted to the respitory ICU early Monday morning, they decided they had no choice but to operate lastnight. I was so worried he wouldn't make it through the operation but he did and surgeon said everything went great and he tolerated surgery well.

    Today he is in the surgical ICU and on a ventilator. It is horrible. He can't talk or move because his arms are tied down. The pulmonary dr told us his left lung (where his cancer is) is not looking good and had lots of fluid. He performed a bronchoscopy today and tried to suction out the fluid but could only get so much because of the tumor. The follow up xray shows the fluid is basically still there. Now the plan is to take him off the vent and get him moving around tomorrow to get the fluid up and out of the lung.

    This is all so damn confusing. As if lung cancer wasn't enough! I am so distraught and can't stand seeing him on this vent. What if he can't get enough oxygen off the vent? Then what? Is this the end of the fight before it has even began? :cry: Does anyone have an experiences to tell with ventilators?

    Any prayers and thoughts would be appreciated. Thank you.

  11. Thanks for all of your replies and continued prayers to all of you and your loved ones!

    Turns out my dad did have benadryl, aloxi and decadron before his treatment. That explains his increased appetite. He also had trouble sleeping once the benadryl wore off.

    We are now facing another hurdle as his hernia has caused an intestional blockage and he is in the ER as we speak. I am going to post about it seperately.

    Thank you again for all of your amazing support!

  12. Hi Marci -

    Sounds similiar to my dad's diagnosis and he is having the same chemo. Once a week for 6 weeks and radiation 5 days a week for a total of 33 treatments.

    My dad just had his first chemo last week and starts radiation this week.

    Prayers to your mom.

  13. Oh, and also, dad said they gave him some other kind of medication also? You think he would know, right :x What could this have been? I have been reading sometimes they give you a steroid or anti-nausea med before hand. He said after the treatment he was starving (and still was at dinner time). He ate more at lunch than he had in months? I don't get it!

    And also from what I have been reading this treatment is usually adminstered once every 3 weeks. He is getting weekly treatments. Does anyone know the difference?

  14. *I have no idea if I put this in the right forum so feel free to move if necessary*

    My dad started Taxol/Carbo today. He will have treatment once a week for 6 weeks. Can anyone tell me the side effects he *might* experience with this? They gave him a script for anti-nausea meds but my mom can't remember if he is supposed to take them right away or only if he gets nauseous. From what I have read, he needs to stay ahead of the nausea, right? When will any side effects kick in?

    I am totally new to this and was unable to go to his appt so any answers would be appreciated! Thanks!

  15. Rachel - Although I am new to this forum I feel I must respond. My heart just breaks for you. Being a new mother, I really can't imagine what you are going through.

    PLEASE stay strong. You are so young and have SO much to look forward to. Stay strong for those beautiful children in that photo. Please let love, prayers and peace lift you to fight this horrible disease with everything you have. I will be saying many prayers for you.

  16. Thanks for all of your wonderful responses and thoughts!

    Ned - You have a wonderful attitude and I hope my dad feels the same way. What you said makes lots of sense. Thank you for the staging information and I will check out onctalk.com

    I don't know the specific type. The oncologist basically said it doesn't matter too much because treatment would be the same. I didn't particularly like this answer but took his word. The biopsy pathology report said "the tumor cells are positive for CK7, and negative for CK20 and TTF1". Does this mean anything?

    I am thinking the reason for the radiation would be to shrink and hopefully obliterate the tumor? As far as I know it is not pressing on anything but his cough is pretty bad so I know they want to get that under control.

    There is NO plueral effusion.

    I think the reason for the low dose chemo is that my dad won't tolerate any high doses. He has a-fibrilation and high BP. The dr. did mention it would probably do him more harm then good to get a high dose.

    DonM - My dad mentioned cyberknife to the dr and he said he wouldn't be a candidate. They are saying the lymph nodes are involved but can't be 100% positive they are cancerous unless they biopsy all of them. Once the surgeon got in there and saw the tumor he felt he wouldn't be a candidate for surgery so he only biopsied a couple. Those did come up as non-cancerous.

    See, there are so many conflicting things and I want to beleive that my dad's oncologist is doing the right thing. He is going to one of the best groups in the area and his dr actually came from Sloan Kettering. I hate to put him through a second opinion at this point, we just want the treatment to start already! I just feel like I don't have ALL of the answers I should at this point. But maybe having ALL the answers will make no difference? I am the type that NEEDS TO KNOW though. I research things constantly.

    Not sure what to do from here. Thanks again everyone.

  17. After lurking for about 3 weeks I have finally decided to post my story. My dad (father-in-law) was diagnosed with NSCLC about a month ago. I decided to be his healthcare advocate for many reasons. I have been to almost every appt with him so far. He actually is taking the news pretty good and is ready to fight the fight. He has a very positive attitude. But as I lurk and read, and read, and read on this board and others, I am worried about how long his positive attitude will actually last.

    Here is his story:

    70 years old. He quit smoking 34 years ago and worked in a machine shop all his life. He had bladder cancer 10 years ago and they actually removed his bladder and fabricated a new one out of part of his intestine. He has had a history of either bronchitis or pneumonia once a year for the past 5 years or so. Once again, he seemed to come down with bronchitis in early summer. He let the cough go for a while (about a month) like he usually does until he finally went to the dr. Dr. confirmed bronchitis and prescribed antibiotics. His cough did not go away though.

    He then went back to dr (a pulmonary specialist) and the dr. requested a chest xray. The xray showed “prominence in the hilar regions” which the report indicated may be within normal range unless he reviews them against prior chest xrays. After a review of prior xrays from 2003 “the left hilum is significantly more prominent”.

    This prompted the Dr. to order a CT scan with contrast. The CT scan showed a mass in his left lower lobe measuring 3cm x 1.9cm. They also found some enlarged lymph nodes surrounding the mass.

    A needle biopsy was done to determine if the mass was cancerous. It was and they determined it was NSCLC.

    Next, PET scan was ordered. Again, this showed activity in the lymph nodes surrounding his left lung, in the middle of his chest, and a couple of suspicious lymph nodes on the right side with low level activity. No other spots showed up.

    He then has a brain MRI which came back clear.

    We also had a surgical consult. The surgeon performed a bronchoscopy and a mediatstinoscopy and determined that surgery would most likely never be an option. Mainly because of where the tumor is he would need the entire lung removed and at his age and considering some other health problems he would not tolerate life with one only one lung. The good news is that the he did biopsy a few of the suspicious lymph nodes and they came back negative.

    The Dr.s are staging it at 3a/3b. I guess it is difficult to really know if the cancer is in the lymph nodes and which ones it is in.

    His oncologist decided to do 6-7 weeks of low does chemo once a week for 2-3 hours. And radiation every day, M-F. He claims a high dose of chemo probably wouldn’t yield any better results and would put his body through hell in the meantime. He also stated that radiation works better when chemo is also given. I need to find out what his chemo drugs will be.

    He starts his treatments this week.

    So, if you got this far, I have some questions!

    Does it sound like they are staging his cancer correctly?

    What would a first line defense chemo treatment be for someone in my dad’s stage?

    Is the dr. correct in stating that a higher chemo dose probably won’t make much of a difference?

    I know I have a ton more but can't think of them now. THANKS for reading if you got this far! I have been reading all of your stories and my heart just breaks for each and every one of you. What a horrible, horrible disease this is. Lots of prayers to all of you and your loved ones!

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