[Pet Scan Results - Two Lymphnodes suspicious , all else fine]

Hi... I just found out today my brother... who had surgery for melenoma a couple of months back now has cancer in his lungs, kidneys, and liver... there are 20 different masses of it in his body! His wife died of breast cancer just last october.. I just feel so very depressed ... its so very hard to remain positive.

[Stage 1A BAC]

Hi Eileen... I too had my right upper lobe removed.. I had squamous non small cell which was 1.4 in size... mine was also a flook that it was found! The doctors also wanted to wait and do an xray every three months to watch it but the lung specialist recommended surgery... thank god for that... even my family doctor was shocked that it turned out to be malignant... everyone was so sure that it was beneign.. The pain from the surgery lessens with time.. my surgery was done in December of 2000 and it was a good six months before I felt considerably better... I still don't feel 100%. As for the emotional end of it... I find it all very hard to deal with and that's why I am here looking for some help in dealing with it... I'm scared to death and have not been back to the doctor for the last 20 months for any checkups... Crazy, eh? Good luck to you Eileen.. Email me anytime... I'll be hear to listen.... (jeannie_nixon@yahoo.com)

[Psychological Issues]

Every time it's time to go for that CT-Scan (every 6 months), I still have my husband come and hold my hand. It is 4 1/2 years, yet I am a nervous wreck every time. Being an early stage survivor is wracked with psychological issues for me. The physical part was nothing compared to the anxiety. I think of terrorism as having two fronts for me -- the one I face living in NYC from Al Qaeda and the one possibly inside of me. They feel the same -- something that may or may not be lurking around the corner ready to take me away from my family. Only difference is Al Qaeda could also take my kids...and that is even worse.

Hi... I stumbled across this site looking for some

kind of support for being a survivor of lung cancer. I'm

saying "survivor" but I am living in constant fear

that it will return. In July of 2000 I had to go and

have a chest xray because I am immigrating to Australia.

My partner lives here. They found a tiny shadow on my

right lung. As I was in Australia at the time on a

visitors visa I decided to return to Canada and have it

looked into there. The doctors in Australia and also

in Canada said not to worry.. that it looked harmless.

Thank Heavens for the Lung specialist in canada... she

had a very bad feeling about it and referred me to a

lung surgeon. I had a cat scan when I returned to

canada and from july to october the mark had not changed

in size. The lung specialist and the lung surgeon

both recommended surgery. I was admitted to hospital in

Victoria, B.C. and had surgery on November 30th. I

had a right thoracotomy wedge resection proving the mark

to be malignant. The tumour was 1.4 x 1.1 x 0.8 cmh.

There was no lymph node involvement. My partner came

over to canada on December 15, 2000 in order to help

me recuperate and to take me back to australia. The

operation was horrendous and I had problems with air

leaks. The surgeon in canada told me that I was to have

chest xrays every three months for the first two years

and every six months thereafter. My partner and I

returned to Australia in January 2001 and I began the

process again of applying for permanent residency. They

finally granted me a temporary visa after much hassle

as I failed the health requirement to immigrate here.

I am now at the stage of awaiting my permanent

residency status.. I just sent all the paper work in a couple

of weeks ago and I pray that they will let me stay.

There has been no mention of having to provide a

doctors report for the permanent residency. That brings me

to my dilema. When I returned to Australia after

surgery I was very diligent in going for my xrays every

three months.. I did it three times and each time the

xray was clear. The torment leading up to the xrays was

horrendous.. as I'm sure you can relate.. I worried so

much that there was going to be something there. I

started smoking again... (do I have a death wish or

what?)... and after going diligently for my xrays three

times I promptly stopped going. I have not been to a

doctor for 20 months now and every ache and pain I get I

think that it is cancer. My life is a constant worry.

My thinking is, is that if it returns I will know

about it sooner or later... and if it hasn't then that is

good! I am TERRIFIED to go to the doctor! I've been

reading these survivor stories and everyone seems so

upbeat and positive and I feel so negative. It's as is

I'm sitting on a time bomb! It is part of my life every

single day. It makes me feel better to share my story

with someone. Thanks for listening...