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annjael

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Posts posted by annjael

    CArleen update

    in MEMBER UPDATES

    Posted

    ((((((((((((Carleen))))))))))))) I know you probably wont believe this, but it does get better. You are still way too fresh in this, to see that there could possibly be any light, at the end of this dark tunnel. But it will be there. The profound grief you are feeling is soooo normal, and from my experience, you have to go through it, to get to the better days. It is a tough process, but you will make it. Carleen, your Keith will always be in your heart, no matter how many years pass by. As you begin to grow away from the profound grief, you will begin to recall lighter moments of your marriage, and yes, even things that were annoying,,,but you will be able to laugh at those memories. You will also recall the wonderful warm fuzzy moments, and they will make you smile with the certainty that you and Keith, for however long you had it, truly had something very special. So please know that people really do care, and understand where you are in this process. Take however long "Carleen" needs to grieve. Know that we really are here to listen and be here for you.

    Blessings in your journey,

    Annjael

    Lucie Fly Wood

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    (((((Don))))) I am so very sorry. Thank you so much for sharing Lucie and her journey with us. Lucie was an inspiration to so many people here, with her fighting spirit. Yes, heaven has truly gained a very special angel.

    Peace to Lucie, Don and family

    Annjael

    A little update about Carleen

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    ((((((Carleen)))))) Just take one day at a time. You will know what is right for Carleen, as opposed to what others feel you should do. I absolutely agree that it was your Keith telling you how beautiful you are. I had a couple very compelling things happen after Bill passed, that only he and I knew about, when he was alive. Your Keith is right there with you, watching over you. You will be okay. Grief takes time,,,,give yourself all the time you need,,,not someone elses timeframe. Counseling is a good thing. Talking to someone will help put your very normal feelings, into some perspective that you can deal with. Please know that you are loved and cared about by all of us here,,,,your family at LCSC

    Peace,

    Annjael

    Too much pain

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    ((((((Carleen)))))) When I lost my husband of 28yrs in 2001 to this terrible beast, my heart was broken in two. I also thought what is the use, my life is over. Then I thought again,,,,yes, my life as I knew it, was over,,,,but my husband wanted to live so badly and wasnt given the chance. He would have given anything for a second chance. I knew then that I had to live the life that he was denied. My thinking was that if I decided to end my life, then the Beast has won 2 lives,,,,,,and that was suddenly not an option....I wont tell you that the last few years has been easy,,,,,but you learn new coping skills and your Keith will be right there,,,helping you,,,,you can do this,,,,,honor Keith by honoring the promise you made to him,,,,,by honoring him your Keith will live on in you, sweetheart,,,,,,Take one day at a time,,,,breath,,,eat small meals, but do eat something,,rest when you can.....talk to us and anyone else,,,family,,,counselors,,,,just know that people care alot about you, and you are not alone.

    Peace to you,,,Annjael

    It would have been our 32nd wedding anniversary today

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Well,,, it would have been 32yrs today for us. :( I still don't like to use "would have been". I try very hard to keep the memories of my marriage alive. Bill has been gone for 4 yrs already! That is so hard to believe. Basically I am doing well. I caregive for my dad who is 84, and have been doing so for 4 yrs. I have a nice friend, who is also a widow, and we have alot of fun lunching or shopping etc. But as they say " The heart never forgets"

    Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on my special day....

    Peace and blessings,

    Annjael

    Brat checking in ~~~Way too long, ..I need Bunny's BRIEF

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    (((((Pat and Brian))))) I know it is hard to really decide what to do here. You are both so amazing!!! I think it is good that you plan to go back to work, and I think that will perhaps make Brian feel better about your Family Leave. It always seems better with some plan in place. I think you are wise taking it day by day, and work the plan accordingly. You and Brian have such strength, and a doc that really is a gem!! That is soooo important! ( I could tell you a few tales about Bills onc ,,,,ugh!!!) Still makes me crazy!!! Bless your hearts,,,,,and hang in there

    Peace,

    Annjael

    How do you handle all of this?

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    (((((Froggiegirl))))) Well,,,,I was a caregiver for my husband for 3 yrs before he passed away. The first 2 1/2 were more or less just making sure he had his meds, running to get his meds, etc, he at that point had hepatitis C and diabetes. He had alot of trouble with his feet also. Then came the lung cancer, the chemo and radiation treatments, making sure he had his meds etc, and I too was working to keep us afloat, as his disability income never came, he died the same month he was to receive it. He was 53. I was 51,,,when he died, I had to sell my home, so I moved to Florida, away from my kids and friends, to caregive for my 82 yr old dad. He is blind in one eye and a multitude of heart related problems........I am here 24/7/365 I am now 55. You know ,,,,somehow I feel blessed and lucky,,,,,,

    That being said,,,,,,,,,,,,I can well understand your feelings,,,I have them myself at times.....why me???? again????? But,,,,,,,,,,,,the fact is, this is the way my life is ,,,,,for now. It is good to be needed,,,,even when your plate is already full.

    Your mom is still your mom and your best friend, and everything she always was,,,,she has cancer, and she She needs every ounce of strength, mentally and physically to fight this beast. Help her....She needs you now more than ever....

    Peace and blessings to you and your mom,,

    Annjael

    a spare prayer? (1st update)

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    (((((Shellie))))) I had this same sort of problem a few years ago. I had a lump that could not be felt, but it showed up on mammogram, and was fairly large. My surgeon tried an needle aspiration, that didnt work at all.They brought in an ultrasound expert and he checked it.. He said he didnt see anything,,,,back to the mammo machine,,,it shows up. They then decided to do a biopsy and remove it. I had to have another needle mammo the day of surgery. The surgeon and the ultrasound expert were baffled. They felt that the best thing was the biopsy. I had so many mammos with this darn thing, I glowed in the dark!!!! They went in and removed all the tissue around it, it was deep so it was tricky, but it was a cyst. So I know it is hard not to worry, but my point is that even tricky or complicated things can be nothing at all,,,,just complicated or tricky...... so hang in there! Your doc is being cautious, and that is good. Prayers are comin at ya!!!!

    Peace,

    Annjael

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