Clare UK

Truly inspirational! Thanks for sharing. My mum has sclc diagnosed 6 months ago so this gives us hope that perhaps this last Christmas wasn't her last. Awesome list of achievements too!

HinErika, so sorry to read about your dad. It's awful when trips back and forth to the doctor provide more questions than they answer I know. My mum had a similar problem and went to the doctor 10 times in 8 weeks with back and abdomen pain as well as a persistent cough and each time she was sent home with a different explanation and set of tablets... It was only through a late night trip to accident and emergency because the pain was so bad that we found the true cause, stage IV SCLC. I remember being very angry with the doctors at the time but realise now that even if they had sent her straight to the hospital, it was already too late for her. Stay positive - my mum also has a dire prognosis in terms of life expectancy but we try to focus on positives and enjoying our time together. And when I can't find that positivity, I come here where i can always find support or inspiration.

Thanks everyone. Hope you all were able to spend time with loved ones over the holidays. After a few days of feeling quite poorly, thankfully mum was well enough to come for Christmas and even managed to eat Xmas lunch with us. She must have been feeling better because she was definitely back to her usual bossy self! Kind of dreading new year, knowing that next year will be far from happy in too many ways. However, we cannot make time stand still so will be focussing on making more happy memories for our family x

Thanks Randy! Even after 6 months, it's sometimes still hard to know what to say to her ...

Hey guys, Thanks for your kind words! Mum starting to improve a little each day from the side effects from the radiotherapy so we're just hoping that she's well enough to enjoy Christmas and has enough appetite to share Xmas dinner with us. This last week has been hard though - every time I speak to her to try and encourage her to leave the house, to come shopping, come over my house, go out for coffee, she is too tired, or it's too cold outside, this is fine, but then she goes shopping with my dad, or goes visit at her friend's house, goes out for cake with friends. I'm glad that she's getting out, but I can't help but think that she is avoiding spending time with me ... Especially as this week I haven't been able to spend as much time as usual at her house as I normally do. In fact, I haven't seen her for 4 days. Even before she was I'll, I used to see her every other day. I don't think she is deliberately being hurtful, but she is my mum and i guess instinct dictates that she protects me and maybe she doesn't want me to see her when she is so down ... I don't know. Anyways, I'm taking her grocery shopping tomorrow so we will see ...

Hi there. Been reading through the forum since last night and at times I've smiled, wept and at the same time so grateful that I found you... 7 months ago my mum was diagnosed with SCLC. By the time it was discovered, it had already spread to several other areas in her abdomen and so palliative care was the only option for us. 6 treatments of chemo and 5 days of radiotherapy and we are at the end of treatment options for her. Whilst at first I was worried about treatment - concerns over side effects and quality of life, the chemo has been fantastic and really gave mum her life back. She coped admirably with very few complications and just 2 or 3 days of illness every cycle, almost like extreme flu is how she described it. The radiotherapy, which has little evidence of success for SCLC was given more to reduce the risk of metastasis to the brain. However, mum wishes that she had not had this as she has been feeling to ill and tired to even leave the house these last three weeks. We're all just hoping that the small improvements this week will continue and she will be well enough to try and enjoy what will undoubtedly be her last Christmas with us. So far, all facts, but no emotion. And herein lies my problem. As the eldest of 2 children, I'm my mum's main carer and recently left my job to spend as much time as i can with her whilst she is well and to care for her once her health starts to deteriorate. My stepdad is self employed and so can't take so much time off to care for my mum. Also, my mum plays down the severity of her situation a lot, especially with my dad. As I attend the appointments with her, I am possibly the only other person that realises how dire her prognosis really is. Being the eldest, the one who is always so strong, the one who just gets on with things, the one everyone leans on. But who can I lean on? Who can I ask why this should happen to my otherwise healthy mum who is just 54 years old? Who can I tell that I'm terrified about what might happen next? I try to talk to my partner, but on the rare occasion that I can't hold it in any longer and get upset, he tries to make a joke to cheer me up. He's not deliberately being mean, he just doesn't understand that I need to rant, cry, sob at someone. So, this is why I'm glad I found you - already just in admitting that I'm scared and upset, it's helped me shed the tears I can never find. That i usually refuse to succumb to. That prove that I am not emotionally numb and heartless... Hopefully in time those tears won't be followed by guilt about being upset when I still have my health and my life ahead of me. Or shame that I might not be able to cope when my family needs me the most. Sorry, I've totally rambled, and maybe not even made much sense. But already it's been a huge help.