[Mom's First Christmas in Heaven]

God Bless you Donna. What a beautiful tribute to your mother. I hope that you are surrounded with love in this time of grief. I told my dad that we should try to be happy for mom, she's spending the holidays with the Lord. What better place, and oh what a reward our mothers have received to be able to sit by him on his throne! I miss my mom more than words can describe, as I'm sure you do, but I do find comfort in the fact that she's waiting for me, and when my time is here, I hope, no I know, her beautiful smile will be one of the first things I see that will tell me I'm truely home. I hope the New Year finds you well.

Hi Kim,

Thank you for your comforting words. I don't think I have allowed myself to grieve yet. I think I'm still in the 'numb' phase because I am thinking that my mom isn't really gone that she's just away on a trip and she'll be back soon until I really, really take time to stop and really think about that she really is gone. But when I have those moments, I shoo them away and get busy again. My father is grieving so much that I have to be strong for him and take care of him that I just can't grieve. I know my mom is in a better place and that she's out of pain and sickness. The thing is she was NOT supposed to die. Her oncologist promised us he could cure her. She was getting better and then suddenly she wasn't. Two weeks before she passed away, she was very weak. Too weak to talk, too weak to eat, too weak to walk. The Sunday of Thanksgiving wknd I figured she must be dehydrated so my dad and I took her to the hospital. She was admitted. On Monday, her body started swelling with fluid and she was in and out of coherence. On Tuesday, she started becoming more incoherent. On Wednesday, she lapsed into a full coma and the doctors told us the cancer had spread to her liver and that it was failing. It had also spread to her adrenal glands, her esophagus and to her other lung. They told us she had 1 - 2 weeks to live w/o chemo or 1-2 months to live w/chemo and that we need to decide if we want to put her on chemo and to decide if we wanted to put her on life support whenever the time came. Everything was happening so fast that I felt caught up in a whirlwind. I mean, my gosh! I was bringing her to the hospital to just get some fluids for petes sake; not to die. That wasn't supposed to happen. The doctor said he could cure her. What happened? So, then we made the decision to not put my mom back through chemo and she had already told us to not put her on life support. On Thursday afternoon at 2:30pm, we brought my mom home via ambulance to die. She died later that night at 7:10pm. And then suddenly, I was watching as the hearst pulled out of the driveway with my mom lying in the back of it on a stretcher. They didn't cover her face or place her in a body bag or a make-shift coffin like I thought they did. She was just lying there; elevated for the world to see as they drove away. And then suddenly I was thrust back into time whenever I was a little girl crying as I ran after my mom as she drove out of the driveway for work because I was afraid she wouldn't come back. I wanted to run after her again for this time I knew for sure she was not going to come back.

Her wake and funeral was such a tribute. The funeral home is very large and accomodates many people. To accomodate just the flowers my mom received, three very large rooms held them all. The line of people was so long that it took them an hour and a half to reach my mom's casket. My father was retired after 23 years of law enforcement and the police department closed off all major intersections as only just the hearst carried my mom to rest in the church as we waited at home to leave. It was such a remarkable tribute and honor to my mom but one that I am sure she was looking down from heaven and saying "You've got to be kidding. It was your dad that was a policeman, not me. Stop making such a fuss over me." My mom was genuine and giving. What you saw is what you got. She didn't like anyone to make any fusses over her and she didn't like anyone having to take care of her; she was the caretaker of all of us. She was the backbone of our family and she was strong and independent. She and my 10 year old daughter (the eldest of the grandchildren) were very best friends and there was no one else in the world like her "Nana".

[Mom's First Christmas in Heaven]

Mom's First Christmas in Heaven

Do not cry for me that I am not at home

This year I am spending Christmas at my father's throne

Do not fill your heart heavy with burden

Instead, feel me in your heart within

The gifts you gave each Christmas Eve

Were immeasurable in their worth to me

For you see, it wasn't about the robe or the shirt I received

But it was your ever continuing love you gave to me

It was the smiles and the laughter we shared

The hugs and the kisses for me you bared

Speak my name and you shall see

That I'm alive in each memory

Just because you do not see me this Christmas Eve

Does not mean I'm not with you at the Christmas tree

I'm the twinkling in each little light and in the curl of each little bow

I'm the shimmer in each Christmas ball and the kiss beneath the mistletoe

I'm the yawn of my grand babes sleepy little heads

As mommies and daddies tuck them into beds

I'm the crispness of each gentle breeze on Christmas morns

I'm that old angel topper that our tree adorns

So at Christmas do not fret; do not feel alone

Because I'm spending Christmas in my father's home

The view from here is grand and one day we can share

But now for me Christmas is here and yours is there

Do not be sad, in spirit I am with you

This Christmas is not different, just something new

So until we are together again inside heaven's door

Keep me alive in spirit in your heart forevermore.

Love,

Mom

Donna Hunter Churchwell

Dedicated to my mom, Sara Hunter who lost her battle to SCLC, December 2, 2004 (5 months after diagnosis)

[SCLC and smoking]

Hello Cindy,

WAY TO GO on your 15 mos remission!!!!! God is good! All the time! I wish you all of his continued blessings upon you.

Donna

I wish I had the magic cure for not smoking!!! I quit the day I went into the hospital for my biopsies. I made it about a year, I never felt normal-crazy huh? I did start again, not nearly as much and the Dr knows. He did say I may have breathing difficulties later but so far I really have not. THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT IT IS PROBABLY BETTER TO QUIT. I just wanted to feel normal-the cancer had changed my life so much that the one thing I fell back to was the smoking. I am doing well-Thank God. More power to those of you who have quit!

Cindy

[SCLC and smoking]

Thank you Dianne for the information. I am passing everyone's posts to my mom via email in hopes something great will also come from it. I wish you continued success in your treatment and may God bless you.

Donna

I was told that while being treated with chemo and/or radiation, if you are still smoking, your windpipe is impeded from cleaning itself like it's supposed to, so you get less benefit of the treatment. A healthy non-smoker, for example, will have itty-bitty hair-like thingies (that's a highly technical term for those of you unfamiliar ) that automatically clean out the windpipe when you're sleeping. Smoking destroys those thingies, so the person has to cough to get the windpipe cleaned out -- thus the "smoker's cough."

When you get gunk in your lungs and are being treated and trying to clear it out, you will cough and cough up icky stuff to help that process, but if you're smoking, you're negating part of the therapy, as your body has to try and keep the gunk from the cigs cleaned out too.

Having said all that, I totally understand the "urges." I often wonder too if things had gone in the other direction and my condition became dire if I'd be smoking myself. Anyone struggling with this certainly has my support for the strength it takes to quit, if that's what they choose.

Di

[SCLC and smoking]

Hi Jackie,

Thank you so much for your well wishes. It has helped me so much in being able to communicate with others who have loved ones dealing with this disease too. I'm sorry for your loss. I know he's watching over you.

Donna

Can't add much to all the previous posts,

just my hope and wish that your mother

can kick the smoking.

J.C.

[SCLC and smoking]

I just said a prayer for you and your family asking that you all receive GREAT news tomorrow and that all of you will sleep peaceful and rested tonight. Please let me know what you find out.

Thanks,

Donna

oh yeah....

i smoked 3-5 packs a day (seriously)... started when i was 13 (i'm 49 now)..... i quit when i was dx'd in june... i was so sick w/pnuemonia,collapsed lung,then chemo radiation etc i really didnt have that hard of a time....i used the patch for a week or two.

i completed chemo/rad about 4 weeks ago and i'm feeling really good now....but now i'm starting to get the urge...

i dont think i'll start back as long as everything is going well but if i get mets elsewhere or cant get rid of the cancer in my lung (i'll find out about that tomorrow) there's a real good chance i'll start back..... ...s

[SCLC and smoking]

Hi Dani,

Thank you for sharing with me. I know it's a hard thing for some people to beat. I even tried bribing my parents with NO grandkids for them until they quit. But as I kept getting older and OLDER and they had still not stopped smoking, I thought "Whoa.....who am I starting to hurt here now?" The grandkids have asked and begged my mom to quit too. She's tried the nicotine gum, the patch, counseling, hypnosis and even acupuncture to no avail.

My sis, who has sclc, quit smoking about 8 years ago, then started again. She has just never been able to beat the nicotine addiction, hard as she's tried. But since she was diagnosed & started treatment, she uses Nicorette gum--the patch never worked for her, and stopped smoking. She's says the gum, which she used before when trying to quit, helps a lot with the urge to smoke. My husband quit smoking 10 years ago, thank God, but it was on his own volition, completely his decision--and that was what made him stop, i.e., not what anyone else said, not even our daughter, who was tiny then. Maybe your mom could try the gum, especially since it's over-the-counter now.

[SCLC and smoking]

Way to go Frank in quitting smoking. The doctor told my mom the same thing but unfortunately she's a little more hardheaded (stubborn) in quitting. Best of luck! I'll see ya when we reach 100!

Donna

Donna,I had (and have ) a hard time quitting as did others here.What did it for me was the surgeon came in room after removing my left lung and said I had a chance of beating this if I quit NOW.If not he assured me it would come rite back most probably,& he would not appreciate me messing up his good work.!! I had already quit a few months prior but cause of him I still haven't had one.None of my family could make me quit,all it did was cause bad feelings tween us.

[SCLC and smoking]

Hi,

Well we're just in the early phases of her cancer. We haven't gotten to remission yet; still trying to cure the original tumor. We haven't completed treatment yet so yeah quitting smoking would surely help her in her recovery. However, I do agree with you that if there wasn't a chance of her cure, then by all means she should dance naked in Walmart (but I doubt she would; she really hates going to that place) so I'd have to find her another place to "hang out". Take care of yourself and give yourself a big ole hug! Someone loves U!

Donna

i really hope she quits....

.... but we have a 15-25% chance of living 5yrs.... most of us will die w/in 1-2.......i hate that and i wish it wasnt so.....and i'm not trying to depress anyone.....if she's been through chemo/rad and the cancer has come back, i dont think quitting now is gonna save her.....if she wants to smoke (or dance naked at wal-mart) i wouldnt bug the crap out of her to stop.....i'd support her whatever she wanted to do for whatever time she has left...... ........s

[SCLC and smoking]

Hi Sharlene,

Thank you for sharing. I was reading your treatments. Has your doctor tried you on a clinical trial with Avastin Therapy? There have been 2 documented cases at my mom's oncologist where these patients had advanced SCLC, non-operable that have been cured by doing the Avastin Therapy. My mom starts it next week. You might want to ask your doctor about it. We actually called MD Anderson this week to see if there was a different treatment option and they said if it were them to stick with the Avastin because that is the thing now in curing SCLC and that they weren't even able to get it out there (don't know why). Best of luck to you in your recovery. Please keep in touch.

Donna

[SCLC and smoking]

Hi Jean,

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. I actually had to accept a few years ago the fact that I could do nothing about my mom quitting and had to come to peace with that so I would stop worrying. I finally did but of course the hope that they will stop is always there.

Donna

[SCLC and smoking]

Hi Deb,

Thank you for your reply. Wow! Had I only came across this site before today. It feels "good" to release and share with others who have experienced the same though I'm sorry that any of us are having to experience this. But it's nice to know there is someone there when you need them.

Donna

[SCLC and smoking]

Hi Becky,

Thank you for your reply. I love the pic of your little "Dragon Slayer". It's precious. My 9 year old daughter had to do a drawing of "If I become a scientist, I will...." for her science class. She drew a picture of herself in a laboratory holding the vial for "cure for cancer" she had discovered. She dedicated it to my mom. Of course, we all had a good cry over that. Children.....they are so wonderful!

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis of cancer. How scary, especially since you have never smoked. Do they know "how" you contracted the cancer? I see where you posted that you weren't impressed with MD Anderson. We had actually spoken with them this week about coming to them and trying a different treatment but were advised that the Avastin treatment my mom will soon be getting was the 'way to go' now and that they couldn't even get the Avastin there.

Hang in there. Prayer is a powerful thing! And I'm sure there are lots of prayers going up for you as I have just said one for you.

Donna

[SCLC and smoking]

Hello - my mother was diagnosed with SCLC in June 04. She is on a clinical trial and has already been through chemotherapy and radiation and is about to start Avastin. The problem is she's STILL smoking. Granted, she has cut way back but how do you get her to stop? I know that the addiction is terrible and that quitting is probably harder but faced with the option of death and never seeing my grandchildren again, I hope I would be able to lay them down. Anyway, can anyone offer suggestions on her quitting? I know it's something that she can only do but my family is here to offer support. One month prior to her diagnosis with cancer, my father had five bypasses. That made him quit cold-turkey after 50 years. My mom is "hanging" out with a bad crowd from the Oncologist office. One SCLC survivor tells her that she continued to smoke while on the same clinical trial and still smokes and that her cancer was cured. So, with that info in mind, my mom uses that as a crutch to support her smoking. It's unfair to all who love her and pray for her recovery everyday and worry relentless about her. She has to be active in her recovery too and not just participate.

[SCLC and smoking]

Hello - my mother was diagnosed with SCLC in June 04. She is on a clinical trial and has already been through chemotherapy and radiation and is about to start Avastin. The problem is she's STILL smoking. Granted, she has cut way back but how do you get her to stop? I know that the addiction is terrible and that quitting is probably harder but faced with the option of death and never seeing my grandchildren again, I hope I would be able to lay them down. Anyway, can anyone offer suggestions on her quitting? I know it's something that she can only do but my family is here to offer support. One month prior to her diagnosis with cancer, my father had five bypasses. That made him quit cold-turkey after 50 years. My mom is "hanging" out with a bad crowd from the Oncologist office. One SCLC survivor tells her that she continued to smoke while on the same clinical trial and still smokes and that her cancer was cured. So, with that info in mind, my mom uses that as a crutch to support her smoking. It's unfair to all who love her and pray for her recovery everyday and worry relentless about her. She has to be active in her recovery too and not just participate.