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adela

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Posts posted by adela

    I am thankful for....

    in HOPE

    Posted

    Don I was not as fortunate as you, I had 9 wonderful years with Ed. I am grateful for my daughter, son-in-law,granddaughter, son and extended family. I am grateful for the memories and able to remember them.

    Adela

    For those who have lost a spouse

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I met Ed at a pizza joint at the beach he was visiting his son. I did not want to phone him so I told him lets exchange letters so we did for a month. Then he flew in from Seattle for a weekend and the rest was wonderful. He introduced me to the Pacific Northwest and I introduced him to the Southwest. It was like fireworks and when I think of him it still is.

    He and I loved to go to car shows. His dream was a 1954 four door and to retire. We also loved to listen to the blues and I introduced him to Mariachi music he loved it.

    In a letter he wrote" I never knew what love was until I fell in love with you"

    Adela

    Last year

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Pat,

    I also felt frazzled during Ed's final weeks. We flew form LA to Seattle and for a week he had constant visitors. He declined rapidly. I too wanted it relaxing but I knew the people that loved him needed to be with him. He would want me to just sit I was busy making sure the house was kept up for the visitors. That is one thing I do regret and it has been hard to let it go.

    I wanted a storybook goodbye did I get all of the loveyou's I needed no. My Ed did not want to die, it was hard for him to acknowledge it. What I did get was the satisfaction that my husband died in the house he loved and the area he loved surrounded by those that loved him so.

    Is there such a thing as a good death I don't know.

    I just know you did everything possible to make sure your Brian was comfortable and loved.

    Adela

    Hit a Wall

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Kelly

    You have a new"normal". This year you don't have to do it all. The Christmas Parties, the baking, the cleaning, the gift buying(buy the gifts for the kids and possibly keep it to one or two don't drive yourself nuts)the Christmas cards, the big dinner you don't have to do it all.

    If you host Christmas Day dinner get someone else to do it. You need a breather.....you need some Kelly time.

    Adela

    What I remember Christmas

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    As I go thru my first Christmas without Ed. I remember and smile. On Christmas Eve Ed would make a trip to Nordstrums and buy a gift for me and his stepson. The silver and gold box was so special. So I saved the box from 2005 and I am putting it under the tree. I remember what a good host Ed was, making sure you had a cup of coffee or something to drink. I remember what a socialable person Ed was. He would meet someone and before you know it they were buddies for life. Ed loved tamales, red chile and posole at Christmas time of course after 2 days of the stuff he was ready for a hamburger. I grieve for Ed and I suppose that includes the smiles and laughter I feel when I remember.

    What do you all remember of your loved ones? What was their favorite Christmas song, cookie, food, favorite Christmas story or their favorite childhood Christmas memory.

    Adela[/b]

    Tough Week For Me.....

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Ann,

    I understand and feel the same. Don wrote exactly what I feel let the holidays past already. Ed is buried in Seattle, I am going to fly out Christmas Day and visit him. In New Mexico on Christmas Eve family members will go to the cemetary and place lumunarias(brown bags filled with sand and a votive candle and the candle is lit). It is such a beautiful sight everyone bundled up and placing their lumunarias on their loved ones grave. With the lighted lumunarias and the love,sadness,laughter and children running around. So on Christmas Day Ed will have his lumunarias.

    In my mind and in my heart I will light some lumunaris for your Dennis.

    Feliz Navidad

    Adela

    unhappy holidays

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    What is normal during the holidays, we are bombarded with all of these commercials of over happy people. Even people not touched by cancer go thru very difficult times during the "holiday period" So much expectations, so much disappointment, so much of too much.

    Perhaps I will not be happy during this holiday period, but I will be content that my husband was part of my life.

    I suppose my encouragement to you is to be content during the holiday season and all of the days after January 1st.

    Take care, Adela

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