Dreamweaver
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Posts posted by Dreamweaver
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Don, Sue, Maryanne, Rich -
Thank you all for taking the time to read ksiths story. He truly was an amazing person.
Have you ever heard the country song - "When I get where I'm going." Everytime I hear that song I think of Keith - he could have written it himself. We spent time talking about the possibility of his death. He was ready to go. Letting him go was the hardest part. Telling him it was OK to go... I hope I never have to do such a thing again in my life.
Melanie
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Thank you Maryann and Jan - for the welcomes. I really appreciate allt he support I have already found here.
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Thank you Randy.. It took me a long time to write it, but the Delphi community needed to know, and I wanted to share my Keith with those who didn't know him as well. So his legacy lives on.
Melanie
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We do have a few things in common.
Am so glad that you have also found your soulmate, and that he is beating those odds as well. Am sorry that he is having to deal with this, and that you are also dealing with FMS. Not an easy thing to have to try and live with. I did get the link in my signature to go to his picture.. But wasn't sure how to get te actual picture to show up.. LOL Maybe on a day when the brain fog isn't so thick I can sit and figure it out.
Thank you so much for the welcome. I look forward to getting to know you and the others here.
Melanie
Welcome Melanie,I am sorry about the loss of your love, Keith.
It sounds like you and I have a couple of things in common. The love of my life is also a Keith. He is my soulmate, and the most wonderful person I've ever met. He was given roughly 9 months, and this past Sunday was his 3 year dx anniversary.
I also have fibromyalgia, but I know that I am lucky and blessed to have it only effect me minorly. I don't let it interfer with my life or any of my actions.
It sounds like you and Keith had a very special relationship, and I am sure that he would tell you how grateful he was to have you there with him, comforting him during his last days.
I know that now the only pain that remains is yours, and I am so sorry you are left with that. There are so many here unfortunately that have been where you are now, and we are all here to support you and care for you as you grieve. I pray that God bring you comfort in your mourning, and light your path as you strive to continue Keith's and your support groups.
PS. If you are having trouble attaching a photo to your profile, you can post a question in the technical support forum, or otherwise I know that Rick and Katie have often helped others get their photos posted by having you e-mail them a picture and they will post it for you.
God Bless You
Carleen
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This is the obituary I wrote about my dear Keith. He was a host to an online forum called Living With cancer. That forums was in the Delphi community - so this obituary was written for the Delphi community. but I wanted to share it here so you all can meet my Keith. The love of my life.
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As a host of a Delphi support group I used to spend a lot of my online time surfing the other groups. When I stumbled into Living With Cancer I met one of Delphi's finest members. The_Pianoman (Keith) was like a breath of fresh air, you could feel his compassion, his love and the peacefulness that surrounded him. I knew I wanted to get to know this man better.
That Christmas I enlisted Santa's help.Perhaps Santa could formally introduce us. (Yes, Delphi, there is a Santa Claus!) Luckily it worked and for the last five years of Keiths life, his and my love grew. Five years is such a short time to cram a lifetime of living in.
For those of you who never met Keith, his story is worth hearing.He always held onto faith and hope. Eleven years ago he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given 3 months to live. Instead of giving up he formed a nationwide prayer chain thanks to an organization known as The Word of Hope Ministries.(I can't find this organization now, and am assuming its no longer active) He also started doing things for himself. Like walking. He could hardly get out of bed, but was determined to walk to town. So one step at a time he made it. One day to the door, another day to the mailbox. And slowly but surely he made it to town. He also started taking online classes. He eventually became an ordained minister and was working on his doctorate. When he was supposed to be dying, he was making plans for the future.
Keith came online looking for people such as himself that he could share his struggles as well as his triumphs with. Although he traveled throughout Delphi, not a single one was found to be active. He told me he found one that had a post sitting for months unanswered. He was determined that not another cry for help would go unanswered if he had anything to say about it. That day Living With Cancer was formed.
Through his years in Delphi he has helped hundreds through the hardest times of their lives. Whether it was someone living through cancer or one of their loved ones. Even lurkers came often and I know they, too, found comfort in Keiths guidance and comforting words.
The Breast Cancer Survivors and Friends Forum was formed about the same time as Keiths forum was. I know when Keith found this couragous group of women, they accepted him with open arms. If I am not mistaken he owes a select few of them dances. I am sure one day when we all meet up again, he will be dancing his heart out. I'll have to fight the ladies for the first dance.
Linda remembered Keith this way. "I remember the very first time I met Keith ... it was when he opened this forum. I was always looking for good forums that I could point my visitors to when they needed help.
I ran in, took a good look around, liked what I saw ... and Keith and I became friends. He was such a special person. I was amazed at his life ... and how compassionate and understanding he was with all those who found a need to visit here.
Then came the day that my husband was diagnosed with inoperable cancer and was pronounced terminal. I turned to Keith ... I was so angry and hurting so much .. Keith helped me keep my sanity at a time that I most needed it.
After Jim passed away, he never failed to greet me with a hug and well wishes ..wanting to know how I was doing. His caring and concern never stopped.
I feel so privileged to have known Keith ... even though we never met in person. I will never forget that man."
Another member of Keiths group, Deb, shared this with me. "My favorite memory of Keith is when I first met him in 2003. I was on his forum and read his profile. all of the information about him intrigued me, but since I wasnt too religious, I thought he'd never have much to do with me. I also didnt want to get to know someone who had cancer (even though I did) and might die.
I got over my selfishness and emailed him. He responded back almost immediately, putting my fears to rest. We became email pals, I sent him cards and he went out of his way to make me feel comfortable speaking about God, and comfortable in my own body. I'm no longer afraid to befriend someone who's beliefs are different from my own, and I treasure the very day I met him online, he will forever live in my heart."
Keith truly cared for his members. When he was able to be in the forum more, he would keep a calandar on his computer screen. It was set to send off an alarm each time an event was happening so he would know to stop and pray. Whenever someone on the forum posted they had a procedure to endure, or a doctors visit etc. It went onto Keiths calandar. And the following day he would be there checking in to see how things went for that person. He didn't do it because he had to. He did it because he truly cared for each and every individual that stopped by his forum.
For myself, I will always remember the time Keiths brother called to tell me he wasn't expected to live. I set out to drive there. 370 miles in a blizzard. Stopping every hour to call the hospital to check on him. That was the first time we met face to face. I was so scared to enter that room. What if he didn't like me after all. But the nurse dragged me in saying I was all Keith had talked about for the 7 hours he knew I was driving there. Once we met I discovered he was as nervous as I was. We were like two middle aged teenagers. That was almost 4 years ago. Since then we went through many other scares. And I made that trip monthly until I finally all but moved in. Yes, I met Keith in the hospital. Almost 4 years to the day, Keith and I whispered our goodbyes in the same hospital. He passed over on November 14th, 2005.
For someone that was homebound, Keith touched so many lives. Not just here in Delphi but also in his home town. From nurses to pharmacists to grocery worker and mailman. Keith touched all their lives. The words he spoke to everyone who called or visited were, " I appreciate you." and that about sums up Keith. He never met an enemy, and was forever grateful to all who touched his life. Both in small and big ways.
On this day I urge you all, never take a day for granted. All you have together is this very moment. make the most of it. Never let your loved one leave your sight without letting them know you love them. May you all find your soul mates. And know that this kind of love doesn't end on this plane but lives within your heart forever. Such a love comes only once in a lifetime, if that. When it comes your way - grab ahold for all its worth. You'll never regret it. I know I won't.
Melanie (Dreamweaver)
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Thank you Linda.. I am trying to figure out how to get keiths picture in my signature.. LOL.. figuring out new things isn't always easy for me.
Your word of encouragement mean alot to me.
(( hugs ))
Melanie
Melanie:You are going to make a wonderful support person to your group, don't you worry about that -- your own story will inspire lots of hope to others (you already have done that for me).
Welcome to this site. Hugs,
Linda
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What a beautiful site that is!
Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:01 pm Post subject: Inspirational SiteCheck Out this Link A Friend Sent me tonite. Trying not to cry.
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Thank you so much Randy. I am so glad I found this group.
Melanie
Everybody needs somebody to lean on. Lean on us. We willl help withw whatever we can to help. -
With Keith - I wasn't able to be with him all the time. But during the last days he only wanted me to lie beside him and hold hands as he slept. He slept alot... and when he was awake the pain was so bad that all I could do was hold him until it eased or he fell back asleep. he was on several pain meds including Ketamine (sp?) and morphine among other things. And they didn't even begin to touch the pain he was in. So when I got a call he was being put on oxygen I drove back to his house (when I wasn't there he had to go into a nursing home). Less than a week after I got there, he passed away. I know he was just holding on until I got there. because 2 days after - he went into a coma. he woke up only long enough to tell me he only wanted to be comfortable and that he loved me. Two days after that he passed away. I was by his side the whole time, if he even crinkled his eyes as if he was in pain I would calll for the nurse to give him a boost of the pain meds. It was a blessing to me to know that at least for the last days of his life he wasn't in pain. (Or at least I am hoping he wasn't - he didn't appear to be).
Running his forum is sometimes hard. People come in and say that Keith always knew the right thing to say.. and I wonder if I have what it takes to be the support person for all of them. It's a small group - but Keith was so loved by so many who had come through the group when they needed it... it's hard to reach deep within and come up with what I think Keith would have told these people. When they ask questions about diagnosis - I have no clue what to tell them. because I haven't been there or done that. So I spend alot of time online searching for answers for them.
Ok - this ended up being a book instead of a little post.. LOL Sorry about that.
I hope you are having a wonderful day. Thank you again for your warm welcome.
Melanie
If you think that is all The welcomes you get you are wrong. Lost Deb 2 Months ago today at 3 Am 1/23. Am working on things here including Clinical Trials and research news. Also working on fundraising that is another story if and when it happens. I know how you feel about good and bad days. I do very well until bedtime and then i get really sad and Depressed. Eventually Go to sleep. If we can assist you in any way just ask. This is a very compassionate group of knowledgeable and supportive people here. Stay in touch and welcome aboard. -
I just went through the cremation thing last November as that was Keiths wish. If you ask the hospice nurse or social workers - they can probably give you the name of a reputable funeral home to talk to. Thats how I found the one where Keith was taken to. They charged us 700.00 for the cremation. We didn't buy any special container as Keiths wishes were to be scattered in the mountains. His brother took him with him to California and will fullfill Keiths requests. Keith passed away in Ponca, Nebraska but we worked with a funeral home in Sioux City. He was really a wonderful man to work with. He gave a discount to families who were on social security. If your mom is on social security you might check on it. I believe they pay something on the funeral expenses. At least we were told that they would pay 200.00 of Keiths expenses. So originally it was 900.00 and they did it for 700.00.
Hope that helps some.. and makes sense. if you want a special urn or a funeral along with the cremation I am sure it will be higher. Keith didn't want any of that. He wanted no fuss with his passing over.
Melanie
I've only know read this message. My heart hurts for your family. My prayers and thoughts are with all of you.katie -my mother has been to 3 hospitals in the last 2 weeks. thoracic surgeon is talking about some sort of catheter implant for her lung fluids but he doesnt know if my mother can tolerate the surgery. I havent spokern with my father since yesterday morning. a friend that has seen them says that the doctors are all doom and gloom which is nothin new to us. BTW my father cant find any medical oncologist that currently uses chemo sensitivity testing. several people have told us that they are familar with this type of testing and have used it but they say that results arent that differnet compared with using set drug protocols so they are luke warm on the subject now .. has anybody been treated by a oncologist that uses sensitivity testing method in choosing chemo drugs/ please post the effectiveness of it in your real life case, thanks.
rob
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Thank you Lynda..
Melanie
Welcome Melanie.Lynda
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I am new here as well. But wanted to welcome you to the boards. Am so sorry your mother is going through this. It's so hard for everyone who loves them... And while I can understand your mothers thinking about not doing chemo - I can also feel for all who want her to fight this. Keith refused any help at the end, he just wanted to go "home". He was so tired of fighting. It was hard for me to sit by and watch, but I knew in my heart it was the best decision for him.
I'll be thinking of you and your family.. keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Melanie
Hi there. My name is Janine, and my mother Jean, 71, has been recently diagnosed(Mar 9, 2006)with nsclc, met to the bones. She went to ER on Sunday night, Feb 26, 2006, and was admitted. She is now in a Rehab center, and was supposed to start chemo today. Well, the oncologist left a msg for my dad yesterday saying that she would only be able to do a half dose because the blood work came back with an abnormality in the liver. So, ended up the whole treatment was cancelled. I'm so confused, and scared to death. I've read many of the posts on this board, and I find it helpful to know that I am not alone. My dad is 74 and in poor health, so there is a major concern there too. And the last I talked to my dad, he said my mother was starting to change her mind about chemo completely. She thinks maybe she should just go straight to hospice. I know it's her decision, but I really want her to at least give chemo a try.Sorry, I'm rambling. Thanks for being here.
Janine
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It is so hard to give a date of life expectancy. To so many thats as good as giving the patient a date to give up. The best thing to do is to think positive and to live each and every day to its fullest. Enjoy the time you have together, and hold dear each and every day you are granted with him. Am so sorry to read that your father is going through this. Please know that many here will be holding him and your family up in their thoughts and prayers.
((((( gentle hugs )))))
Melanie
Hello to all. My name is April, I am 25 years old and my dad, my hero was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer that has spread to his liver and bones. He is 55 years old. This all came in the last month. I am so scared of what is to come. He has had one chemo treatment and just started radiation today. His oncologist says its not curable but we can hope to shrink the multiple tumors. He is having a very aggressive form of chemo, the Dr. says his cancer is also very aggressive. Does anyone have any idea what life expectancey rate is for this, that is something dads oncologist could not say?! -
Thank you for the welcome. What an adorable little one you have. Can't look at that picture without smiling.
Melanie
Hey Melanie,I am so glad that you found us!!
We are a loving bunch and you are always welcome!!
GOD BLESS!!
Jamie
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I am nee here, but wanted to jump in and meet you when I read your post. I can understand to some extent your watching as the things were being divided up. I lost Keith last November.. But Keith and I weren't married. I was supposed to meet his brother at Keiths house to go through some things. I left Hayes a note as to what items I would like to have. Keiths somo was Ok with that. When I got back to Keiths house Hayes had given everything away. the beloved piano that Keith and I played together, the guitar Keith used to play for me, so many little things that had so much sentimental value to them.
I had to learn to let go. To try and realize those were just things, but I had my memories and they are so much more precious than the things I had to give up.
I'm learning that the best way to get by is to take life one day at a time.. sometimes one minute at a time. It's hard, people tend to define when we should be "over it". etc. They don't realize that grief has its own time table and that we have to take whatever time it takes for us to grieve and let go.
You are in my thoughts and prayers as you work your way through so much emotional turmoil.
** hugs **
Melanie
A week from today I will be heading home. It will be hard to leave my family but I am ready to go home. This has been an emotional rollercoaster from the minute I learned of Denis' death.I look back on my life and have so many regrets but how do you reconcile them? I'm tired of even trying. I never wanted to look forward after Johnny died but now I am drained from looking backwards. I regret the time that Johnny and I missed but how can I regret my life, my children and grandchildren? I regret that things went so badly between Denis and I. I regret that we could never make eachothter happy but if we had I would have missed the five happiest months of my life. So now I want to get back to just living one day at a time. I don't want to look back and I just can't look forward to a decison that someday I will have to make. I need time just to be and not have to think or make any decisions.
My children are still reeling from Denis death. There is just so much they have to handle. The things in the house and the house itself all have to be taken care of. I watch and I don't think anyone realizes just how hard it is for me to see my life being torn apart. Usually when a person dies the family has to deal with their things but they are both gone. I am watching everything that we accumulated over the years be devided. To them many of those things are sentimental but most are just things. To me they are what I poured my life into for over 40 years.
As long as Denis was alive I knew that those things were where they belonged. They were taken care of and I was alright with that. Now I watch as they decide what to do with simple things like dishes and bath towels and it just throws me. Am I nuts for feeling this way?
My daughter has decided to take the camper. I'm glad they will have it but it was not an easy decision for them to make. Unlike my other two children they never really got into camping. All the time deciding it seemed like a problem to all of them but that camper had been my dream. When we were gone from here on one of our trips was the only time that Denis and I really got along. There was never any arguments or anger. I fould myself planning more and more trips just so we could have that peace and sharing. How can even my children understand what an emotional impact it has on me watching as all of my dreams and all of my work are being devided and torn apart?
Sunday was a special but unusual day. It gave me something but at the same time it really took an emotional toll. Several years ago a very special person was lost to us. He was married to my daughter in laws sister. He was family. Denis and I would go fishing with him and he and I would exchange Hybiscis cuttings. He was injured in an accident off shore. He lived for 2 years unable to move more that his head and eyes. So much of his brain was missing that he couldn't communicate. Everyone saw him as gone from the time of the injury but I couldn't let go. I would go 2 or 3 times a week to see him in New Orleans. Denis would drive me but he had given up on Harry the first day. I just couldn't. I would talk to him as if he understood everything I said. Sometimes he would start to cry and sob and I felt like he was in there somewhere and so glad to know that I still knew that. His death left a big hole in all of our lives.
Sunday Harry's son got married. I went to the wedding. He has a twin brother who was never that much like him but now! He has grown to look and talk exactly like Harry. He was so sweet to me and I just couldn't get enough of hearing him and watching him because for those few minutes it was like having Harry back again. I appologized to him for my tears but he said he understood becaue it happens a lot. We shared stories about Harry and it was so good but God how my heart ached.
I came back here for my kids and grandchildren and for Denis. There were so many bad memories but there are also good ones. I am so hurt by his death and I am so angry at him because now that he is gone it is so easy to see that he knew something was wrong. He was waiting until after Mardi Gras to get a good check up. He robbed my grandchildren of their Paw Paw. He broke their hearts and that breaks mine. I can't even let myself think about how afraid he must have been. How could I have loved two men in such a diffent way? Denis and I never made eachother happy but you can't share all that we did without some kind of love. Johnny and I had so little time together but he was my real love. The one I shared my heart and soul with in a way that I never could with Denis.
I don't know how or if I will ever reconcile all of these feelings. I just know that for now I have to get back to my home and my job and try to just live for now and let it all go or it will drive me out of my mind. It will just be so hard to leave my family because for them this is their first real lesson in the harsh realities of life.
Sorry if this is really not appropriate for this board but I have no one else to share all of this with. You have all be so kind and understanding that I feel like I can come here to unburden some of my hurts. I don't know what I would have done without all of you and this board. I thank God for you everyday.
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Thank you so much Katie. Some days are just harder than others. I will sit here knowing what I need to do - but I can't seem to get my work done because my thoughts keep drifting back to Keith. Sometimes I miss him so much I will pick up my phone to call and hear his voice, then I remember he isn't there anymore. I haven't been able to delete his number from my cell phone - it's hard letting go. It's funny how sometimes the littlest things are the hardest. Last week I had to have his forum transferred to my name since his membership had expired. It was the hardest thing I have had to do since he passed away. yet it seems like such a little thing, and you feel like such a wimp when you make such a huge deal of it. *smile*
Thank you so much, for understanding my need to be somewhere other than his forum when I need to talk of the grief. I just feel like I can't burden all of them with this grief, as they are all trying to find their own ways to cope with Keith not being there.
** hugs **
Melanie
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Thank you so much Bronwen. I not only run Keiths forum but I have a forum for people living with chronic pain. (I am a Fibromyalgia survivor.. ) That's how Keith and I met. Our forums were in the same community (Delphi). I love taking care of the forums, but it's so h ard to not have a place for me to be true to my own feelings. I don't want to burden those who knew and loved Keith so much. They have their own griefs to bear.
I've promoted this site to them as well.. So it wouldn't surprise me if a few of them dropped in to some of the forums here.
Thank you so much for your welcome... it's good to know there is a place I can go to talk about Keith and share my grief with others who truly understand.
Melanie
Please accept my deepest condolences on your loss of Keith. It is so very painful to lose the ones we love. By the way, your poem is beautiful and heartfelt. I am sorry you had to find this site at all, but am glad you did. You will find many great people here who truly provide much needed support. It is always amazing to me that people who are going through so much themselves always find time to lift up others when they are down. Please stay with us and let us provide support however we can. -
I am new here, j ust reading through the different boards and saw your message. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your families loss. I know it isn't easy when someone you love passes over. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers as you go through the grieving process.
Melanie
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Am so glad I read this today. You are right, the last 5 lines are so very comforting. I'll try to keep those in my thoughts as I go through each day.
Thank you for sharing this.
Melanie
I came across this poem in a book I was reading, and I find the last 5 lines in particular help me when the sadness starts to get overwhelming:If I be the first of us to die,
Let grief not blacken long your sky.
Be bold yet modest in your grieving.
There is a change but not a leaving.
For just as death is part of life,
The dead live on forever in the living.
And all the gathered riches of our journey,
The moments shared, the mysteries explored,
The steady layering of intimacy stored,
The things that made us laugh or weep or sing,
The joy of sunlit snow or first unfurling of the spring,
The wordless language of look and touch,
The knowing,
Each giving and each taking,
These are not flowers that fade,
Nor trees that fall and crumble,
Nor are they stone,
For even stone cannot the wind and rain withstand
And mighty mountain peaks in time reduce to sand.
What we were, we are.
What we had, we have.
A conjoined past imperishably present.
So when you walk the woods where once we walked together
And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow,
Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land,
And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand,
And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you,
Be still.
Close your eyes.
Breathe.
Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone, but merely walk within you.
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I am new to this forum. Nov. 14th I lost the love of my life. Keith ran an online support group called Living With Cancer. I have since taken over the group - trying to keep it alive as well as keeping his memories alive.. The thing with running his group is I always feel as if I need to hold the others up.. so many people are missing him. And so I try to keep positive there and all. When inside I often feel I am dying a slow death without Keith here. We weren't married, I only met him 5 years ago through the Delphi community. (long story). He lived 370 miles away so I made that journey every month since he was homebound and unable to travel.
Here is a poem I recently wrote to him..
How is it that time slipped away from us?
Wasn't it yesterday we were laughing together?
Life was so much simpler then, living with no fuss.
My fantasy world believed that it would last forever.
I closed my heart to the possibility of you going away.
Living is such a struggle without you here.
I'd give the world to have you back one more day.
For some reason, though, God must need you near.
There's so much I need to say, so much to tell you.
Like how much I love you, you are my heart!
To tell you how I appreciate all you taught me, too.
You helped me find a part of me, giving me a new start.
My heart was full but my spiritual side was lacking
So, in essence I was empty until you showed the way.
There's so much else I learned from being with you, darling.
With you I found joy, happiness. I found love every day.
But without you here, it's lost. Everything is empty.
Every day I put on a smile and tell everyone I'm alright.
But it's not true, if they looked in my eyes they'd see.
That just to get up some days is a tremendous fight.
I think when you left, a part of me also died.
I'm not sure who I am anymore, or what I need to do.
Letting go isn't easy, so many times I have tried.
People say your spirits with me, perhaps that's true.
You'll always be a part of me, that will never change.
Yet somehow I must find the strength to once again see.
That this life of mine I need to try and rearrange.
To learn to live in this moment, to learn to simply be.
I know that's what you would want, you tried to help me see.
Life was just a part of your journey, death just another phase.
You lived so long in pain, you longed to be painfree.
Wait for me, my love. I'll be joining you one day.
My time isn't here yet. I know you tried to make me understand.
That I have so much living yet to do before I can go home.
And even though I can't see you, you are still holding my hand.
By my side you will be, no matter where I may roam.
When I remember that, it helps to lift my sorrows.
Not a day goes by though, that I wish I had some clue.
As to how to face today, and all of my tomorrows.
Because, to be honest dammit - I'm still missing you!
~~ Dreamweaver ~~
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I am new here. but was reading through the posts and found your story about your boss. It is so hard, losing someone you love. And unless a person has gone through that I don't think they will ever truly understand what it is you are going through. how can they - it is impossible to really tell anyone what you are dealing with emotionally. But having said that - it sounds like your boss needs a lesson on sensitivity. To be so nonchalant about another persons grief is just imcomprehensible. Am so sorry you have 4 more weeks to go through with this man. But one thing I have learned is life is way too short to be working whereyou are so miserable. Negativity is harmful to your health as well. Am so glad you have made the decision to move on and find somewhere else to work. I hope you find a place where you are comfortable, and everyone gets along. You deserve to be in a happier place. No one deserves to go through what your boss has put you through. Wishing you the best in your new journey as you move on towards someting new... And keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers as he deals with his health issues.
Melanie
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Am so sorry to read about your mom. I can only imagine the pain you must be going through.. as a nurse you probably knowm ore than you want to know about cancer etc. I was a nurse myself before becoming disabled. One thing I learned with Keith is to always hold on to hope. He was given three months to live - but with hope and prayers - he lived 11 years longer than the doctors predicted. Hold onto your faith - and treasure each and every moment you have with your mother.
Melanie
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Roger, I am ne where so am just getting to reading some of the posts. I hope that all went well for you yesterday as you started your treatments. Remember to keep a positive attitude. That sounds so cliche' but it really does help.
Melanie
I was thinking today that I start chemo & rads Wednesday. I feel pretty good. No pain and functioning like normal. I know that this cancer is doing it's thing in my body.I have heard & read about all the side effects I will encounter.
So I am thinking I have to get sick to get better.
Is this basically it ?
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Thank you Don, for your welcome and your condolences. I am so glad I found this group.
Melanie
Welcome Melanie: I am sorry for your loss.Don M
I miss my mom so much!
in GRIEF
Posted
Martha -
I think there will always be days like that. I lost Keith back in November. Sometimes it seems a lifetime ago, and othertimes it seems like just yesterday.
Grief takes so many different turns and twists. The best thing to do is not to hold it all in. Venting, crying etc. is all OK. We have to remember that it's OK. I know others expect us to pick up and get on with our lives - but grief has no timeline to follow and we each deal with it in our own ways. Don't let anyone rush you or tell you how to react. Just take each day as it comes, and one step at a time you will find your way through it. There will always be days when you need to sit back and grieve whats lost - but those days will get fewer and further between. I am still finding my way through it - but with a group like this to turn to, you will always find a friend to help you through those tough days.
((((((((((((((( gentle hugs )))))))))))))))))))
Melanie