MindyH

I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. ~Mindy

Hi Rhonda, I am sorry that you have to go through this. There is no doubt that it is scary to think of losing your mother. While my Mom was battling cancer I wish that I would have read the book titled "Guide For Cancer Supporters" by Annette & Richard Block. This book helps to understand what cancer patients are feeling and how you can be there to support them. Best of luck to you and your Mom. It sounds like everything is going along well. And your doctor is right, they cannot predict anything. Only God knows when it will be your time. My best advice to you and your Mom is to keep a positive attitude and never give up hope. ~Mindy

Hi Melinda, I have a copy if you need it. Just let me know. -Mindy

Dear Lisa, I just lost my mother 1 week ago today. She too went down hill so quickly. After she stopped treatment, the doctor said she should have about 4 months. She only had about a month and a half. However, it didn't even seem that long. She was in the hospital and rehab for 5 of those 6 weeks. When she got home, we thought she would get stronger and maybe we could try some more chemo. In 8 days, she was gone. I am still in shock. I still feel like we should go visit her in the hospital... I also don't understand and am sure that I never will. My heart goes out to you. -Mindy

On February 10th, my Mom went home to God. I think today is one of the hardest days for me. With all of the wake and funeral planning it didn't give me much time to think throughout the week. Today, I had a lot of time to think. I dried some flowers from the funeral and then didn't know what to do. I have been going back and forth to the hospital or rehab home or my parents house almost everyday. Now, this weekend, I don't know what to do with myself. My Mom was my best friend and we were so close. I haven't however cried as much as I thought I would. That I don't understand. In one way I have a releived feeling that she is not suffering anymore. But then, I get so angry that she had to get cancer in the first place. I guess I will never understand why these things happen to such good people. Someone said to me at the wake, God wants the good ones... I guess that gives me some peace of mind. I also keep thinking that my brother (My Mom & Dad had a son that passed away after only a couple of hours of birth many years ago) was lonely and needed my Mom in heaven now. I just hope that they are now reunited with my grandparents and uncle and godfather.

My Mom is in a rehab home right now having physical therapy 5 days a week. She has been there for 1 1/2 weeks now and has not made much, if any, progress. Today is the first day that she said, and the therapist, said that she did better than the day before. My Dad was with her in the morning and said that she got out of the wheelchair and into bed, and then again into the wheel chair without much help - more than she has done in weeks. The doctor says that there is only 1 chemo left to try but he doesn't want to try that in fear that she will have a stroke. We met with Hospice today to see what our options are. We haven't presented this to Mom yet and ultimately it is her decision. We just needed to know more about Hospice and what they could offer. Mom does not seem to want to give up the fight yet. We are just not sure where to go from here if there are no more chemo options. Has anyone tried any holistic approches that seem to work? If she is not ready to give up, either are we. We just don't want to see her suffer. I just read this article on the internet about a molecule called DCA. Has anyone heard of this? Any input would be so greatly appreciated. -Mindy

Amanda, Do not give up hope. I have heard good things about Tarceva for some. Doctor's never really know how long someone has. When my Mom was diagnosed, the first doctor told her that she had about 3 - 4 months with treatment. We got a second opinion and that doctor said he didn't want to put a time frame on her life because you never know. It has been 2 years and 3 months since diagnosis. It has been a roller coaster but we've had so many good days with her. Just never give up. I wish the best for you and your dad. -Mindy

In my Intro. I accidently wrote that she was diagnosed in Oct. 2005 - It was 2004. She has had verious brain tumors that she had removed with the gamma knife and has had radiation treatment on her back, hips, and chest. The last time she had radiation was around Christmas time which was making her nausious along with the chemo. This is when she stopped eating and started sleeping most of the time. The doctors are telling us that they have gone through almost all of the chemo's and they are afraid of trying too many trial drugs for fear of a stroke. That is because she had the gamma knife 3 or 4 times and the large tumor in her lung is wrapped around an artery. Right now in the Rehab home, she gets PT for 15 minutes each day. She is on Oxycodone (not sure of spelling) for pain, vikadin (again not sure of spelling) for pain, and marinol for appetite. I believe that she gets 2mg of oxycodone in the morning and 2mg at night. During the day she gets vikadin for any breakthrough pain and takes marinol 3x per day to help her appetite. She is still not eating very much though. We do have a meeting with hospice tomorrow afternoon to see what they think our options are. I tried to update my profile as best as I could but don't have an actual timeline. I will try to get more in the coming days.

In October, 2005 my Mom was diagnosed with NSCLC. That year was her 13 year anniversary of quitting smoking. She was having trouble breathing and hearing a wheeze in her breath. She also had a lump that would come and go on her head. A couple of months before she went to the doctor, my uncle, her brother, had passed away from lung cancer. When she went to the doctor, I was optomistic that everything was going to be ok, but was worried. A couple of weeks later it was confirmed that she had stage IV lung cancer. I couldn't believe it. I didn't think anything like this could happen to my Mom. After our family meeting where my parents told me and my 4 siblings that Mom was given a year to live, I became very depressed and slept almost every hour that I was not at work or spending time with Mom. I eventually began hiding the fact she was sick and would pretend that everything was fine. And, everything was pretty good with results and treatments until right before this past Christmas. Mom stopped eating and began sleeping all the time. She was in a lot of pain and had a harder time than ever breathing. She became dehydrated and finally was admitted into the hospital. She had plural effusion. They drained about 4 liters of fluid from around her left lung and now is in a rehab home. She had become so weak while in the hospital that she can only take a couple of steps and cannot perform daily functions by herself. It is killing me to see her this way and I am beside myself. I don't know how to feel or how to deal with the reality of this. I cry a lot and can't help but feel sad, angry, confused, and totally helpless. I wish there was something I can do to make her better and give her, her life back - take away the cancer, but I can't. I am trying to remain hopefull that she will regain enough strength so she can go back home but it is so hard. My brothers and sisters and Dad take turns visiting her everyday so she always has someone with her. I guess the reason for joining this community is that as much as I love talking with my family, it would be nice to hear from others as well - others that have gone through the same things and those that maybe I can offer some thoughts to - some things that have helped me (denial not being one of them). That has just put me back to pretty much day one. Any words of encouragement would help. Thank you for listening to my rambling...