My name is Vivian and I'm my Aunt Paula's primary support as she battles NSCLC - diagnosed 4/07. My father passed away from lung cancer 5 years ago, and I am still grieving. His sister passed away from ovarian cancer just 6 months later. Now his last sister is having her turn.
I feel very alone. With my father, me and my two aunts rallied around him and supported each other. With my other aunt I still had Aunt Paula for support. Now it's just me and her, and I have no idea what I'm doing.
I don't know much about her condition, since in an attempt to "shield" me from her cancer she quit letting me come into doctor's appointments with her last month. I know from reading her chart and talking to the oncologist in the hosptial when she was first diagnosed that it's Stage IIIB, and inoperable. She is 71 years old and has emphysema from smoking all her life (she's still smoking). She's had radiation and chemo, which has shrunk the tumor "somewhat". She's about to have a PET scan and I don't know if she'll be honest with me about the results. She's lost weight - down to 79 pounds.
When i try to talk to her about it she makes some casual remarks and changes the subject. I feel helpless, and her every ache and pain scares the hell out of me. I know I should just be there for her, but I feel like I should be doing something.
Anyway... this is me.
