[grieving]

Connie - I lost my mother to cancer 14 years ago on Feb. 5, she was 61. It does get easier - I promise. That first year is a fog - I remember putting the kids on the bus and then getting them off hours later and having done NOTHING in between. I too used to pick up the phone and then remember she wasn't there. But in time you will find yourself smiling at memories instead of getting teary over them, you will find yourself talking out loud to her and laughing or moments will come that you just know she is there with you and that thought will make you happy not sad. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my mom - but now those thoughts are with smiles instead of tears. It will come -

[Husband has Stage 3B NSCLC (Squamous Cell Carcinoma)]

Welcome Mary! I am new here too but I just wanted to tell you that you have come to the right place - everyone here is so helpful I am sure you will be able to get the answers you need. Hope all goes well with the treatment!

[Good News, Bad News]

Stable is awesome news! :D

And I second the thanks for all the support you give. Go ahead - have a big bowl of ice cream with the works (and have a bowl for me it's one of the things I can't tolerate on Tarceva )

[My scan results are in........]

Hip Hip Hooray!!!!! I have been checking in all afternoon to hear your news!! I am so happy for you!!

I am doing a happy dance for you right now!! Good scans are the BEST feeling!!!!!

[Can You Spare a Prayer, Please??]

Patti - I will be praying for you! I totally understand about not telling your husband - I never tell my kids because I don't want to have to give them bad news over the phone. But it IS adding to your stress level which could be causing the headaches and other pains - Lots of prayers are being sent your way!

[Time to join in]

I just want to thank everyone for such a warm welcome! I am not usually a joiner, this was a big step and you all are making it very easy!

Patti B. my prayers will be with you for your test tomorrow. I find that if I say a prayer during the tests and them scream in my head as loud as I can ( without actually screaming out loud!) for the cancer to be gone - it makes the test go by quicker!

[Oh, Mom...]

Erin - 13 years ago this week I lost my Mom to cancer (pancreatic) at the age of 61- I had 3 little ones at the time like you do. I know how you feel. It does get easier - I promise. There will always be sad days - especially around this anniversary. But, the sad memories will fade and the happy ones will come back. I truly believe that mom has been watching and delighting in her grandchildren as they grow and that she is with me now as I go through this new journey. Enjoy life while you are here and rejoice in knowing that you will see her again someday. Peace to you

[Time to join in]

Rochelle - I want you to know that you and your family have been in my prayers. You have a strength and a giving heart that I could only hope to achieve. So many of you board members I have been praying for and crying with and celebrating with as a lurker - it was about time I came out of the shadows and tried to help too. The Tarceva is working for me - and I know it might not last, but it did get me another Christmas. I should add that I had the Deletion 19 mutation which Tarceva seems to respond well with as a first line treatment. (my first oncologist had no intention of checking for it) It has not been easy - the side effects can be grueling - but I am willing to do anything to stick around awhile

[Time to join in]

Hi! I found this board a few months ago – it has given me much hope, many answers and several tears. I have felt funny about joining in – almost like I am butting into a conversation - but it’s about time I did – hopefully I will be able to help someone else, the way you have all helped me. I am 49 years old, married for 25 years to my high school sweetheart. We have 3 children – 19, 20, and 22 – all in college – they are my life. I teach preschool. I never smoked. I have had no health problems. On December 22, 2006 I went to my doctor for a bad pain in my back. I assumed I had hurt it at work playing with the kids. The Dr. thought it was a herniated disc and sent me in for a CT and MRI. I got a call to go right to the ER, she wouldn’t tell me why. There the ER doctor told me I had Lung Cancer – Stage 4, spread to my spine in 3 places. They wanted to admit me immediately, but since they told me right there that I probably wouldn’t see another Christmas, I checked myself out to return after the holiday. I spent a week in the hospital, first for a biopsy, and then the plan was to try surgery. However another MRI showed Mets to the brain and surgery was canceled The oncologist assigned to me at the hospital wanted to treat me “the way he treats all his patients” That didn’t sit well with me so I went for a second opinion at Yale and a third opinion at Sloan Kettering – they agreed on a treatment plan for me – not, “all their patients”. I chose Yale. I had radiation to the spine and brain in January and February and have taken Tarceva 150 since February. I get Zometa infusions every month. I have had PET scans and MRIs every 3 months since diagnosis. Test results have been shrinkage, stable and then the last test which was done almost a year from diagnosis on December 17 2007-

No Evidence of Disease!!! I actually made the doctor repeat the words! I believe in the power of prayer, God’s goodness and second opinions!

So – I HATE this disease, I hate that I might not see my kids graduate or get married, I hate that I might never get to be a grammy, I hate that I will not be here for my kids when they need me, and that they will have to see me in pain, I hate thinking of my husband all alone and I hate that every little ache sends me into a panic. But – I am loving life and family and friends more than I ever had. I have been reminded that life is a gift – and all in all – it’s been a pretty good year.