[Former LCA member]

Welcome Marie!!!

Shelli

[Mr. Wallaces Private Part]

thanks for the laugh Patti... i really need it today... a little down today.

Shelli

[Do you think it is time again]

Nothing to exciting weather wise going on up here in WI... although check back in a day or two, cause it might be snowing Seriously... we have only have 3 seasons up here, Road construction, Deer Hunting and Winter. LOL

All's fine for now.. could be a bit warmer though

Shelli

[Chemo and shortness of breath]

***Gail***

Glad Hank is good today, Hopefully the prednisone will help with the SOB. I cant say that Dad ever had that problem, maybe I dont recall because he seemed to always be SOB.

Have a Good Day

Shelli

[How do you know when the end is coming?]

Just to touch on what Gail said... I know exactly what you are saying. It is totaly how I reacted. I cried really hard immediately, but for only a few minutes, then it was just like you said, Auto pilot. Things needed to get done, people needed to be called and all that. Its been a little over two weeks and the numbness is still there, I do have my moments though. It is surprising how strong a person you can be when you have to!

Hang in there... try to remember the good times! At least thats what helped me. Even though he couldnt talk back to us we sat around that last day telling stories.

Shelli

[ahhhhhhh i am so frustrated!!!]

Ok, seriously... why is it soooo hard to find a local support group? I have searched on line forever and can not find a single support group, much less one that will relate to me. Dont get me wrong... finding LCSC had been a great help, but I would really like to go to a in person group. I also have a friend who also lost her mother 2yrs ago to LC and we would like to go together. I am almost losing my mind. I cant beleive that i cant find a single thing on line at any of the local hospitals,or even the Hospice center website. Maybe there might be something in the binder from hospice that we have, but short of that I am almost ready to go back to the oncologist office and look at the bulletin board. (although, my trip there last week was hard, as all the nurses were crying when they saw me)

Anyone have any ideas?

frustrated in Oshkosh, WI

Shelli

[How do you know when the end is coming?]

Hi..

All I have to say is, if you feel like you need to say something, SAY IT NOW! I always knew that, and yet feel like i should of said more to Dad before he passed. Its one of my biggest regrets. I just didnt want to spend what "good time" we had at the end talking about sad stuff, i just wanted it to be happy. Its hard I know, and still too fresh for me (Dad just passed 2wks ago) to move on yet. You still have the time to do it. Way to many people dont take advantage of the precious time we have with our loved ones, and even when we do,is it ever enough?

Good Luck to you.. I will say a prayer for your Dad.

Shelli

[Tough Guy]

Denise,

Ohhh... I hate needles... YUCK... My first thought before I kept reading was why doesn't he get a port! Dad had one put in right away, and I am glad that he did. He also was a tough guy,but I hated to see him cringe when they couldnt acess the port an had to stick him the "old fashion" way. They also have numbing creams that can be put on the skin in the port area to help lessen the "pain" when accessing the port. (if thats the reason not to get it) Dad also was on continious chemo for 3 years, no breaks.. ( i think the longest he went without was 5 weeks, and that was over xmas/new years holidays)

Good luck to you.

Shelli

[Dad Is in Process of being Diagnosed with Lung Cancer]

Kristi,

I am so sorry... My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope all goes well.

Shelli

[Dad Is in Process of being Diagnosed with Lung Cancer]

Kristi,

Sorry to hear about your Father.

I too have just recently joined this site, and I am ever so grateful, My father passed away almost 2 weeks ago from SCLC, he also had mets to the liver at diagnosis. My Dad lived for 3 yrs after that. I have met some wonderful people who are encourging and are here to "listen" and answer questions.

Good luck to you and your family.

Shelli

[Grief Support Groups]

Thanks for posting these websites... I feel that I really need to attend some type of support group... I am having a hard time (on the inside, i have not let on too much to my husband, and WILL NOT tell my mother... as she is hiding the grief all to well her self) I looked online for a support group in my area... I cant seem to find one that will fit my needs. Most of them are for Breast Cancer or for those with cancer.. I cant even find a general one. One would think that with 2 differnet cancer centers in the general area I would be able to find something. I guess I need to keep looking, but until then, I will stick with this site and check out the others.

~shelli~

[This is why I am so Angry!!!]

Thank You everyone for your thoughts on my anger. I have been feeling a little better in the last few days about things... hopefully it will resolve soon. I am glad that I found a place to express my feelings to others not "in the mix" and possibly offer advice to others in my situation.

Shelli

[Questions on chemo side-effects Again!]

Hi Deb,

Glad that your husband has some appetite today... You mentioned a sensitive mouth issue. I have a suggestion for you if the problem should worsen. (and if you are aware of this, Sorry for the repeat!) When I worked at the cancer center, (FYI, not sure if I said what i did there, but I worked in the Pharmacy part, I made the chemo) we would make this concoction to help with that. We called it MALIDOBEN there, the name meaning MA-from maalox, LIDO- from lidocane and BEN from benedryl. this is a liquid that you either swish and swallow or swish and spit. Some Dr.s call it Magic Mouthwash, it can have other ingredients too like prednisone and another that I cant think of at the moment. If his pain gets to bothersome, you should ask his Doc about getting a prescription for it. Hope this helps... Good luck to you both.

Shelli

[My Daddy]

Posted April 26, 2008

Russell Lee Crossman

Russell Lee Crossman passed away at the age of 57 peacefully at his home on Friday, April 25, 2008 with his family by his side after a courageous battle with lung cancer. Russ left this world in the same fashion as he entered it. He was born so close to midnight that he always joked that he wasn't sure what day he was actually born on, so why not celebrate both days. He now leaves us also close to midnight, so we now have 2 days to celebrate his rise into heaven.

Russ was born in Oshkosh on September 3, 1951, the son of Howard & Joyce (Bricco) Crossman. He married Margaret (Maggie) Czoschke on October 30, 1971.

Russ worked at the Universal Foundry from 1969 - 1981. He then worked at the Arrowhead Conveyor Company until his retirement in 2005. He was a member of St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church.

He served in the USMC from 1971 - 1973. He also joined & retired from the Wisconsin National Guard 1157th Transportation Company. Russ served his country in Vietnam & in Operation Desert Storm. He was also a member of the VFW Post 1908, AM VETS Post 7, Old Timers 32nd Division-Brigade, Marine Corps League Winnebago Detachment and the United Veterans Honor Guard.

Russ's favorite pastimes included putting together model cars, watching movies, having cookouts with his family and dining at The Roxy. He also enjoyed spending time with his grandchildren. He is a proud veteran and held his service to our country true to his heart. You could always find him on the 4th of July watching the parade and then spending time at the AM VETS tent with his fellow veterans. One of his wishes when he became ill was to go to Washington D.C. to visit all the memorials and the Capitol and White House. In the fall of 2005 he got his wish and his family joined him for a week long trip that we will keep in our hearts forever.

Russ is survived by his wife of 37 years Maggie; and their children, Shelli (Matt) Tooke, their children, Jacob, Anna and Russell; Peter (special friend Andrea Schaefer) Crossman, his daughter Madelyn and her mother Jennifer Crossman; and Matthew (Maggie) Crossman and their son, Micheal and their unborn daughter; his mother and step father, Joyce and Phil Nett; brothers, Ron (Linda) Crossman of West Allis, Bill Crossman, Greg Nett, Mike (Sue) Nett, Sam (Nancy) Nett all of Oshkosh; sisters, Lisa (Bucky) Miller of Fond Du Lac, Terry (Nick) Ripple of Pickett, Tammy (Jerry) Luchinski of Potter, Wisconsin, Roxanne (Don) Wachveitl of Oshkosh, Pam (Paul) Bamman of Frankfort, IL, and Shirley (Bill) Vanorhum of Oshkosh; brother-in-law Gordy (Karen) Czoschke, and their daughter Crissy and her fiancé Adam Ellison, Oshkosh; and many cousins, nieces and nephews and numerous friends and family. He is further survived by his great friends, Jon and Linda Whitpan, Tom and Bonnie Manske, Jerry and Bonnie Bochinski; a favorite cousin, Sue Frost and her daughter Tracy; and his buddy and faithful dog Sandy. Russell was preceded in death by his father Howard, step-mother Pat, his father and mother-in-law Elmer and Ruth Czoschke, and aunts and uncles.

The family wishes to thank all the friends and family who called and visited in these final weeks and for their prayers and concern. They would also like to thank Dr. Anthony Phillips and his Neenah & Appleton staff at Fox Valley Hematology and Oncology, The staff at Theda Clark in the CCU and 5th floor and the Theda Care Hospice nurses and CNA's A memorial has been established in Russ' name to the American Cancer Society.

Funeral services will be held on Monday, April 28, 2008 at 1 p.m. in St. John Evangelical Lutheran Church, 808 North Main Street, with Reverend Ted Johanson offic- iating. Interment will be at Lake View Memorial Park with Military Honors given by the United Veterans Honor Guard. A time of visitation and sharing of memories will be held on Monday from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the church. Please visit www.seefeldfuneral.com to send online condolences to the family.

Seefeld Funeral and

Cremation Services

(920) 236-7750

[Questions on chemo side-effects Again!]

Hi Deb,

Sorry to hear that your husband is having a rough go of things right now. Here is my thoughts as someone who was a caretaker for my Dad for 3 years and as a former employee of University of Wisconsin Comprehensive Cancer Center. You need to get him to drink as much as possible. even if its in little bits, of anything. A few tricks for nausea, if that is whats making him not want to eat... Lemon Drops... this really actually works... When I was at the Cancer Center the drug rep that brought in the Anzemet (antinausea drug) also would bring a case of lemon drops in... it took me awhlie to put two and two together... My Dad said they helped (and I actually loved them while pregnant for morning sickness) Another is Starlight Mints, the round candy cane flavor ones... I havent actually used them but others have told me that works, and now that I am thinking of it, at Christmas time, we would have them out at the Cancer Center!

Dad was never one to drink much.. toward the end we stocked the fridge with dozens of different drinks, Ensure, Gatorade, Vitamin Water.. (FYI... give that one COLD) Those small cans of sodas... so it does not seem so overwhelming to hav to drink a whole can.. There is an orange soda that Dad really liked and would drink when he wouldnt drink anything else... its called Bireley's Orange... Its a non-carbonated soda..

I know its hard to see them not want to take care of themselves... but hang in there...

Hope this helps...

Shelli

[This is why I am so Angry!!!]

Hi.. i am new to the site, wish I would of found this before Dad passed...

My father passed last week friday at age 57 of sclc stage IV with mets to liver(at diagnois 3 yrs ago)...

This is what is making me so mad. All the people (namely various brother and sisters of his) that are now playing the poor me card, when in the past 3 years could not have given a crap about Dad. I feel like they have no right to be this way. It makes me want to scream!!!!! They finally decided to show up when Dad was admitted to the ICU and act like its a shock that things have gotten so bad. Really? are you kidding me is all I could think.. And where were they during the 3 days after he went on Hospice when he had the best days in months? Dad had 13 brother and sisters... only 1 of them called or visited on a regular basis and he lived and hour and half away,the others NEVER called and they live in town. One of them even drove by his house twice a day when going and leaving work and never stopped. I just dont know how to deal with it all. They are my aunts and uncles and I am not sure what the future will be like with these people beacuse of how mad I am at them. They will have to bear the ungodly guilt, but I really dont want to hear about it. I saw how much it hurt my Dad that his family never called ( and i know that goes both ways, but really was it his responsibilty to call everyone all the time to say "this is how i am today" ) Ok, so now I am rambling... i just needed to vent. Dont even get me started on how my Mom feels about all of this... its WAY WORSE! Thanks for giving me a place to express my feelings.

shelli

[E-Mail Buddy]

My Dad just passed this last Friday from SCLC.. I know what you are going through... I could be a buddy if you want. I also used to work at the University of Wisconsin Cancer Center until my Dad became sick and I moved back home to be near him, so I have that background too in case you have questions.

Let me know and i will give you my e-mail.. by the way where do you live.. I am in Oshkosh, WI It is between Milwaukee and Green Bay

[Feeling sad and alone right now]

I completely understand how you are feeling.. My Dad just passed this last friday from sclc. Its ok to feel relief that it is over... i didnt at first... and maybe i still am not totaly there either. But today, I feel ok. I get the list thing too. My Dad was looking forward to alot of things in the upcoming month, my Mom's birthay, a vacation, my Dad was a veteran and the traveling Vietnam Wall is in our town this weekend.... I KNOW it has to get better, Right?

take care and hang in there

shelli

[I'm new]

I am too new to this, My father just passed last friday an I am hoping to find others in a simalar place as my self. Heres to you continuing on your journey cancer free. enjoy each day!

Shelli

[My journey with Dad]

Hi... This is my story... My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 metastaic SCLC in April 05. The Dr. only gave him 18mo. Dad fought a brave battle, the tumors in the lung and liver never got bigger,but until about 2 months ago never got smaller either. We were so excited that we finally had new of regression, but we could tell that it was a little to late as Dad was starting to get "tired" On March 20th Dad was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and spent 2 weeks trying to get better. He was taken to the ICU and after a day we were told that there was no more they could do for him and that if he got worse he would need a venilator and would probably not come off. We made him a DNR and stopped all treatments and he was signed on to hospice and transfered to another unit to spend his final day(s).

What happend once he got to the new unit is short of a miracle. He completely turned around. It was amazing... I am not saying that he was up and saying lets go home, but to go from them saying he wont probably make it through the night to wanting to go for a wheelchair ride.. well amazing. He gave us 3 great days after that being goffy and smiling for the first time in a long time. He definitly was a little confused, wanting to go "chop logs" and other funny things.

After the 3rd day he took a turn and we thought he would pass and then again the next day better again. We arranged to take him home the next day and they day he came home he even wanted to go to dinner at his favorite place.. and even went out a bit a few days later... he spent the next week having good and bad days. about a week and a half ago on a Sunday he was well enough to go and enjoy a nice spring day oustide for a wheel chair ride. After that day, he started to decline and this last Thursday April 24th at 11:55pm Dad passed holding my hand.

I know that he is in a better place and is no longer in pain, but I miss him sooo much. I am very gratful for the 3 years we had with Dad and expecially for my children who were able to know Grandpa, even for just a little bit.