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niececola

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  1. Hi, I can only imagine what you are going through right now. I know the day is going to come for me and I am not going to want to deal with either. My Mom's mom died before I was born. She always talked about her, so I had a sense of who she was. And of course you will always talk about your Mom and they will know who she is through you. My grandfather remarried a year after my grandmother died. Looking back, I wish I had asked my Mom how it made her feel for us to call someone else grandma, but could never ask that at the end b/c it would be too upsetting for her. I am happy my Mom did not make it a big deal about us calling someone else grandma. She was the only grandma I knew. Things were not always perfect with her, that is a whole other story, but I do love her. I think your children will call her Shari b/c you do. Or maybe they will call her grandma b/c your dad refers to her that way, but wouldn't you rather they took their clues from you? I know it is not easy at all. But you sound like you have a lot of respect for Shari and this will probably hurt her. And if you are lucky, your Dad and Shari will be around a long time and your children will have wonderful memories with them and will be loved. Do you want it to hang over them that their Mom did not want them to call her Grandma? OK, I am sorry if this sounds a bit strong. You are such a caring person and I know that you are trying to do the right thing. I would actually explain to her that you really can't handle them calling her grandma and can you compromise on some other special name. I think that is a great idea that you came up with. I am sorry you have to deal with this. I am still not sure how I would handle it should my Dad remarry, and my Mom has been gone 2 1/2 years. Good luck. Denise
  2. Hi Ginny, I will be thinking of you and Earl today. I know the loss of a Mom is different, but you are so right about the pain being deeper. Those are exactly the words I have been looking for. Raising a glass to you both! Love, Denise
  3. Sorry, my brain was not working properly this morning at all! I definitely meant psychiatrist!! Got 2 hours of sleep last, I just knew that word did not look right. Denise
  4. I don't post very often, but your question caught my eye. I would encourage you to see a physiatrist, if possible, to get their opinion on what you should take. I recently starting taking medicine to deal with some emotional issues I am dealing with, prescribed by my GP. I know he had every good intention to help me, but each case is different. I had a very bad reaction to what he prescribed. Upon seeing a physiatrist, they were able to give me something that had very little side effects and more importantly, explained why it is not always the best thing to just take what your GP offers. They are not the experts in this field. Just some food for thought. All the best to you, Denise
  5. Dear Andrea, I was so happy to see your post this morning. I very clearly remember those early days and all the tough times in between. Your mom is a tough cookie! One of there days I am going to make it west to meet your wonderful family. Here's to three more years! Love, Denise
  6. Dear Andrea, Saying prayers that all goes well. Please let us know how Tuesday goes. Love, Denise
  7. Don, I am so shocked to read your post. Praying that Lucie continues to get better each day. Denise
  8. Hi, I can't even believe that it has already been two years without my mom. I was actually doing ok until I started writing this post and now the tears are flowing. Looking back on my journey, I am not even sure how I made it to this point. Those first few months, actually the first year and a half, were very tough for me. I was filled with so much sadness and then later anger, thankfully the anger has subsided. My life is better now than it was when my mom first died, I do find joy and happiness each day, but there is still a hole in my heart that will never go away. But that is ok, I am learning to live with it. After my mom died I had a very difficult time dealing with my Dad. We never had a very close relationship. As many children do, my relationship with my Dad was through my Mom, so when she died, I had no idea what type of relationship would develop. Thankfully, he did turn to my brother and I for support instead of becoming more of an introvert, which he had been throughout my life. There were definitely some challenging times, I know he didn't understand me at all sometimes, especially when I was so angry that my Mom was gone, but we worked through it together and today I am so thankful I have been given this chance to have a relationship with him. Had my Mom lived, I don't think I would have. Very sad to think of it that way, but I choose to look at the gift I have been given, instead of what was taken away from me. Thanks to all of you, for this journey would have been that much more difficult without you. I don't post often, but lurk a lot and all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I think I am going to take Monday off. Not sure what I am going to do, maybe go to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, my mom loved flowers. I feel like I live a lot of my days in denial that she is no longer here, I think I should take some time on Monday to think about all the good times I had with her and how she enriched my life. Too hard to do that on a daily basis.... Please keep my family in your prayers and I will do the same for all of you. Denise
  9. Dear Carleen, I am so sorry for your great loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Love, Denise
  10. Hi Andrea, Saying tons of prayers for you and Brian. And nice to see some new photos of you and Mom! and Brian too, of course. Love, Denise
  11. Saying prayers for you... good luck with the in-vitro. Love, Denise
  12. Mine is Elizabeth. Come from a very long line of Elizabeths' as a middle name. All of us are named after my Grandfather's sister from Ireland.
  13. That is great news Andrea!!!! You will be in my prayers every night. Love, Denise
  14. Praying for you Andrea. Please let us know how you make out today. Love, Denise
  15. Hi Jamie, That is very exciting news! I live in NYC, if you want to talk about what there is to do around town, I can send you my phone number. Best, Denise
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