Outrider1
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Hi all,
The weekly lunch chat has been moved to Wed. for the foreseeable future, as Wed. seems to be a better "fit". The starting time will stay the same at 11:30 (CST). 12:30 EST (Judy, that's you), 10:30 (MST) and 9:30 (PST).
This post will be used as this week's reminder that chat is tomorrow.
I look forward to seeing you all there.
Dawn
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Judy,
I have the same CRS Syndrome myself, lol. Looks like we may need to change the day. I will talk to Katie.
Will keep you all posted
Dawn
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Debbie,
A VATS procedure would be safer for the Docs in the long run as it is done arthroscopically and you loose less blood, decreasing the Docs and nurses exposure. But you still face the risk that they could not get it all and would still have to to do the bigger incission (I cannot spell today to save my life...lol) Also the recovery time is much less and not as hard on your body. It might be worth it to ask.
Altho, I have not had laproscopic surgery for lobectomies and such I have had one for a gall bladder removal and a hysterectomy. Much easier and faster recoveries. After the gall bladder surgery, I was back up and running the next day. Hysterectomy took a little longer but really only took about a week with the except to both that I could not pick up anything heavier than 10 lbs. for 6 weeks regardless.
Dawn
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I also have a Facebook account. I don't use it that much but I think I will put up a post every week this month (or even daily) about November being Lung Cancer Awareness month as Lily has suggested.
If it will helpbring more awareness, get rid of the stigma and possibly loosen a few purse strings, you betcha.
Great idea Lily and Randy
Dawn
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Michelle,
After my husband died, my youngest daughter who was daddy's favorite, seemed to have a good grip on her grief. Her thought (at the time) was he's in heaven with His mom and my dad and everything was right with the world. It wasn't till a couple of years later that we understood that she was acting out (mainly away from home where we did not see it) in a bid to get that attention back. It lead to her being sexually assaulted by a family member/long time friend of the family (over 16 years) starting when she was 12/13.
I had gotten her a little counseling but it was mainly in a school setting when she probably needed some one on one. It also did not help her that her brother was also acting out (had been since before his father died due to other mental issues(ie: severe adhd, opd, and bi-polar disorder)). After the assault, I got her counseling, but she said it wasn't helping her. She talks to me or her older sister right at this point, but I still think, if I can find a way to get it done, that I will try to find her more counseling.
Anyway, my point is that he is focusing on you and not his own grieving and needs to be given permission (so-to-speak) to grieve. Talking about your Don and sharing the laughs and tears will help, but a suggestion is to ask your own counselor for a referral for him. It will help in the long run. You might also look into Boy's/Girl's clubs or a mentor program for him. He may not be ready for that just yet, but it is good to have in your back pocket when he is.
Dawn
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I went into chat Thursday morning, and totally missed all of you!
I was there at 11:34 (took my ISP about 10 minutes to connect, for which we have had a serious conversation about, lol) and stayed till about 12:45.
I'm thinking that the time is just not right. Do you guys want to move it back or make it later or what have you? I don't mind changing the time if needs be. Also maybe a different day? Also would you like me to put a reminder in the day before the chat every week, just to remind folks?
Whatever you guys think, I am open to. I think we can also use the chat anytime, so If you would like to chat in off times you can just send me a pm and it shows up in my e-mail as well and I check that several times a day. Just send me a time (make it a couple of hours if you can before you want to chat) and I will be glad to come in chat.
Whatever you guys want to do to make it easier.
Dawn
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Michelle,
Although my husband did not pass from cancer (massive heart attack at age 54, with no prior symptoms and the only symptom that morning a slight burning or tingling sensation in his arm (like he slept on it wrong)), it was totally unexpected. For 2 months after he died, I thought I was going crazy, with crazy thoughts, coming home from work and sitting on the couch just staring out the windows, losing hours of time (have no clue where they went or what I did). I started having severe panic attacks and have 15 emergency room visits just for those. I ate, but don't remember eating or just had one or two bites. I used to have people telling me to eat (if we were out) my dinner or vegetables like a little kid. I got so tired of being told "what you are going through is normal" especially when it was not normal to the person I thought myself to be.
I finally checked myself into the hospital. There I learned all about grief and the difference between grief and depression. That is what helped me the most. I learned how to recognized the difference between normal grieving and when the depression got a hold of me. And yes, I also took anti-anxiety and anti-depressant pills.
I also learned deep breathing exercises to help when the panic-y feeling started as well as some visualization techniques that helped and I still use many of those same things when that panic-y feeling surfaces with my cancer treatments(especially scans as I am severely claustrophobic, something I did not know until my cancer showed up).
I also learned that we all grieve in our own way. I emptied all of Mikey's clothes from the drawers and closets with in 3 or 4 days of his burial and sent them to a Clothes closet in the little town we lived outside of as I could not stand seeing all his clothes still there. I kept a couple of items, like a cordaroy Blazer (that I let my youngest daughter's boyfriend wear to a school dance this last year and actually gave it to her (daddy's little girl)) and some other things like his string (Bolo) ties and wallet (which I just gave to my youngest son recently).
One of the reasons your meds are knocking you out is that you need to eat something when you take them. You need to have something in your stomach. Doesn't have to be much, maybe a couple of crackers or a piece of toast. Also, sometimes you have to have your doctor raise or lower the does to get rid of the "zombie" feeling. But sometimes that feeling is just you grieving and not the meds. As someone else said just don't fall in the bottle (of meds or alcohol and please be careful with alcohol and the meds!). They can help tremendously but they can not cure the grief.
There is much of the first 6 to eight months after his passing that is still surrounded in a gray, hazy fog, that only my oldest daughter can tell me what really happened. But we all got through it by just sticking by each other and leaning on family and friends. I still grieve for him and miss and think about him daily. But I haven't had a major panic attack in quite a while, even with my cancer diagnosis. Still have anxiety and have had a script for anti- anxiety pills for the last 7 years since he died which I still use and have updated by my Onc. They help me tremendously with just general anxiety, scanxiety, and sleeping. I love my ativan cause it works when I need it too and I can take it as I need it.
Be gentle with yourself and your son as he is grieving too, in his own way.
Put one foot in front of the other and take it one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time as you need to. It won't go away, but it will get better. I promise.
Dawn
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Since it looks like I am up and on the net early than everyone else, I'll start off the air this morning.
Got up to 43 degrees at about 8 am...but lots of beautiful sunshine. There is a light breeze that is making my wind chimes sound their melodious notes. I have neat wind chimes as I specifically look for those that are tuned and that you would usually pay a hefty price for, but I buy mine on sale (hint: prices for anything yard, garden and lawn related are on sale on line most of the time, but especially this time of year) I used to have some that were tuned like church bells in different ranges (such as alto, bass, etc.) but they finally broke just before I moved to my present location. I also have another set, like the ones I have out front, but have not been able to find them since we moved. Oh well, I think that is what I will request for Christmas, not that any one here can afford them...lol. But I like the music they make.
Speaking of music, since we no longer decorate for Halloween, (no storage space for all the decorations at this house) I miss not being able to do so. We used to do it up with a skeleton keyboard player, fog, tomb stones, green plasma-y looking lights in the front porch post lights and all manner of black lights. On All Hallows eve we would set up the key board player, buy the dry ice to help the fog "juice" hug the ground and flow around the tombstones, with green glow sticks on the ground behind them to add the un-earthly glow and then turn on the music (the key board had a demo mode that allowed the keys to light up in red as they played. We turned the demo musice down, and I had a "boom-box" hidden that play Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" very loudly. Over the head to the skeleton key-board, was a sign that read "Lost Souls Tavern. It was great!
Here's hoping that your Halloween Is full of only treats and that you all have a great day.
As for myself, I think I am gonna dig out my change jar and go buy some candy for the ghosties, ghoulies and goblins.
Dawn
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It's a beautiful day in NTX, today. 55 degrees, good stiff breeze making my wind chimes sound like church bells and lots of sun. I can let the dogs out to run in the back yard and bark to their hearts content.
Have I told ya'll that I love fall? I can see the days marching up to Halloween and Thanksgiving. I try not to look any further ahead than that. Especially since I have scans and consults scheduled for the second week in Nov.
My floor is a mess due to the rain and the dogs muddy paws, but I think for today, I am just going to install my camera software and then go sit in the sun and take pictures of my dogs and enjoy the day(chances are, though, I'll install the software and sit right here on the computer and surf, browse and watch TV shows, lol).
I hope you all have as lovely a day as I am planning on having.
Dawn
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I actually used to dress up for Halloween and hand out candy.
If you go to www.myspace.com/outrider323
Then go to my pictures and then the "My Photos" you can see me in my costume and all the decorating we used to do. I stopped decorating because parents of kids 12/13 y/o would not let their kids come up to the house because "it was too scary". When I had kids as young as 2,3, and 4 and their parents coming up all the time. It is a shame when parents are too over protective that they don't allow their kids to have fun.
Anyway check out the pics of what I cal my "night job."
Dawn
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Morning All.
Well, I am not sure what the outside air temps are right now, but I can tell you that we left the windows open last night and at almost 10 o'clock in the morning, it is "COLD" in here even with the sun shining through the windows. I love it!
We are not expected to get any more rain until maybe Tuesday and the temps next week are not supposed to rise out of the mid to upper 60s. I love Fall! The air smells so crisp, the leaves turn glorious colors and I just get an extra pep in my step as well as my attitude.
Anyway, I am gonna install the camera software sometime today so I can download pictures to the computer. Maybe I can catch some pictures of the dogs running and the fall leaves. You'll know I was successful if you see new avatars or pics up in the photo forum.
I hope you all have a lovely day.
Dawn
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I beat Bud to it this morning! don't get me wrong, I love hearing from Bud and all the rest of you guys, but the last time I looked in to add to the Air, Bud beat me to it and you guys don't need the weather and all that from about 50 or so miles apart.
Beautiful autumn weather today!, cool (in the low 60's), light breeze, beautiful Autumn sunshine (I love the way the sun looks in the autumn!), just perfect weather!
Unfortunately, after 2 weeks of rain, I have to again, sweep and mop the kitchen and dining room floor. My youngest son's lovely girlfriend did it the last time for me, but she is out of town right now, so it looks like me and my girls get to do it. Along with writing out the Thanksgiving grocery list. We start buying the stuff we need about a month and a half before the actual day so the cost doesn't hit all at one.
Well, I think I will get the floor done today and then spend some time out on the back patio watching the dogs run in the sun and fresh air.
Oh! I finally found my camera software (again!) so once I get that installed I can send you all pictures of the lovely autumn we seem to be having.
I hope you all have a wonderful, refreshing day.
Dawn
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Michelle,
When my kids were little they always wanted "squeeze tight" hugs because they said they lasted longer.
Here are some "squeeze tight" hugs for you and yours.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Michelle and family}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You and your family are in my heart and prayers.
Dawn
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Michelle,
When my kids were little they always wanted "squeeze tight" hugs because they said they lasted longer.
Here are some "squeeze tight" hugs for you and yours.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Michelle and family}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You and your family are in my heart and prayers.
Dawn
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Chat for today at 11:30 am (CST).
Judy, that's 12:30 your time (EST), 10:30 MST, and 9:30 PST
And guys...usually I am there early but, if I am not there when you get there, give me a few minutes, sometimes it takes a minute or two for my ISP to live up to their promises about speed to connect to the net.
I am usually always there until about 1:30 pm as well.
Dawn
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Lorin,
Ativan (lorazepam generic name) is an anti-anxiety pill (much like valium, but less side effects for long term use) that has the added benefit of helping with sleep. I take it as needed for anxiety or to help me sleep.
It works great without leaving you feeling drugged or "hung-over" when you wake up. It helps slow down the mind and racing thoughts while trying to get to sleep. I use it when I need to.
Dawn
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Michelle,
Like the song says:
"When you're weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I'm on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can't be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
When you're down and out,
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind. "
(Song lyrics edited for content and space)
The other thing about coming here is that by helping you and being there for you , we are helping ourselves as well and besides it just makes us feel better and our makes our day go a little better.
Please stay in touch and come back as often as you would like or feel the need to. We will be here and waiting when you need us.
Dawn
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Bump
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Hey all,
Sorry I was not at last weeks chat, but my computer glitched and it took me all week end to get it back up properly.
I'll be in chat on Thurs. from 11:30 am CST and will wait for you till 12:30. We can also stay as long as you like after that.
I look forward to seeing you all there.
Ya'll come!
Dawn
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Katie...
Not to worry, I will be there at 11:30 anyway so it is no biggie...I just minimize the screen and go about my other internet things and pull the screen up every couple of minutes to check and see if anyone has come in...
The reason for the change in time is that most people do not get there until noon or after. But rest assured that I will be there are 11:30 regardless.
Dawn
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Don't forget, chats on Thursday, but we are kicking the time back to 12:00 pm (noon) as that is when most people seem to be able to come in. We are just trying this before making a formal request to change the time. If we get more people in at that time we'll ask Katie if we can change the time permanently.
Ya'll come, sit a spell and chat.
Dawn
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I am not a facebook fan myself, although I do have a facebook account. I really only use it to keep up with my cousins and such. I also have a my space page, which I don't update as much as I should. Oh, and I have a caring bridge page, which I haven't update since before I went in the hospital in June. I'm not much on keeping things updated, lol.
The weather here in NTX is nice and cool....still 76 out at 10:48....with a good northeast wind. Such a nice change of pace.
Now that the rain has stopped and the yard is not so muddy, I am finally going to try and get to the floor in the kitchen and dinning room. Other than that I am going to veg out and play games on the computer.
I hope all of ya'll have a nice day.
Dawn
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Tami,
I am so sorry that you are having so much difficulty at this time. It sounds like you certainly have a full plate and the issues of your health are just adding to it.
A couple of other possibilities for you to consider (mind you I am no DR. but have experienced the same symptoms prior to cancer ever rearing it's ugly head).
Reading about all of your stress and also between the lines, have you considered that all of these symptoms are being caused by anxiety/panic attacks? Every one of the symptoms you describe fit the panic attacks I started having after my husband died. Not being a panicky person (I have always worked high stress jobs ie 911 operator for the city of Dallas tx, air traffic controller in the Navy, etc.) I was scared to death I was having a heart attack or some other problem related to my heart. (most panic/anxiety attacks make you feel like you are having heart related problems.) All of these symptoms cleared up after I went on anti-anxiety meds (ie.ativan) and anti-depressants, which I came off of in 2008 (only because the newest one they put me on made me a couch potato and the one that worked the best we had to keep raising the dose on). I still take the anti-anxiety meds, mainly because of the anxiety that comes with having a cancer dx. I also having some techniques to help with the anxiety, regardless of whether your symptoms are caused by panic attacks or not. If you are interested, you can pm me anytime.
I also had the burning and pain up between the shoulder blades starting after a car accident the week before my husband died (he did not die from the car accident, he died a week later from a massive heart attack, but that is another story). Since I only banged my knee in the accident, I could not understand why after 2 months my back and shoulders were still burning and hurting so badly that they could not be touched. It took from summer of 2002 til Jan 2004 for them to figure out that I had an infection in my gallbladder along with several small gallstones. (Gall bladder attacks are painful and don't cause the pain where your gall bladder is actually located.) Since none of the high powered antibiotics would clear up the infection, they took out my gall bladder.
My point here is that this could be something not so serious as a return of cancer or a problem with your heart. I do know that anti-anxiety pills will help, especially when you get overwhelmed with the stresses of your life. I take ativan (lorazepam-generic name) as needed and another that is prescribed often is xanax (alprazolam-generic). These are benzodiazapines and can be addictive. Also you can not have any caffine with xanax as it lessens how well the xanax works which means that you take more.
You are doing the right thing, getting all the testing done, so you can rule out any problems that are concerning you. But, maybe asking your Dr. for some anti-anxiety meds while you are doing so will help alleviate some of the anxiety and stress you are having while waiting on the processes of all the testing.
I am sorry this is so long, but I certainly hope you get some relief and am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Dawn
Chat Today!!!!
in GENERAL
Posted
Hi All,
Reminder, lunch chat today starting at 11:30 (CST).
Look forward to seeing you there.
Dawn