Dear Janet, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to each and every one in your family.
I've just lost my gran. She died on xmas day VERY suddenly. She was only officially diagnosed on the 23rd and was taken into hospital becuase of a chest infection. She made excellent progress and we thought she would get out. She died at 12.40 xmas eve/xmas day so I understand how shocked you are.
We are all still so shocked ... we thought we had so long left with her.
I know this may sound harsh but we are glad she is gone now rather than 12 months down the line. It wouldnt have been fair on her. She couldnt be treated and it would have been the worst 12 months of her life. That and only that gives my heart some peace.
I hope one day that may give you some peace too. He sounds like he was a fine man and one day it might seem better that you remeber him just as he was and not someone who was frail and needed nursing.
My deepest sympathies again.