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rockingranny

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    Cambridge
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    USA

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  1. rockingranny

    Venting

    Haven't been on for a couple of months. I finished my whole-head radiation, had an MRI, the tumor was half its original size so they are going to schedule me for gamma knife radiation . I had a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis, and everything checked out clear. I only have one more chemo to go. Plus I still have to have the original colorectal surgery. It seems never-ending. I want my body back. I'm tired of purple spots from being poked and prodded, tired of dry skin, tired of emotional roller-coasters, tired of people seeming to be tired of me and my cancer, tired of losing my muscles, tired of being tired, and really tired of being alone all day. I'm tired of complaining but I have noone else to complain to except you folks so thank you for letting me cry on your shoulders. I know I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes I just have to cry.
  2. Haven't been on for a couple of months. I finished my whole-head radiation, had an MRI, the tumor was half its original size so they are going to schedule me for gamma knife radiation . I had a CT scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis, and everything checked out clear. I only have one more chemo to go. Plus I still have to have the original colorectal surgery. It seems never-ending. I want my body back. I'm tired of purple spots from being poked and prodded, tired of dry skin, tired of emotional roller-coasters, tired of people seeming to be tired of me and my cancer, tired of losing my muscles, tired of being tired, and really tired of being alone all day. I'm tired of complaining but I have noone else to complain to except you folks so thank you for letting me cry on your shoulders. I know I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but sometimes I just have to cry.
  3. Thank you from my heart, Randy. I had a bad day yesterday, but still better than my last bad day (as in two good days and then one bad). Today has already started out wonderfully and I'm getting small tasks completed that make me feel a sense of accomplishment. I am so happy to feel my strength returning! I cannot believe how much I was crushed 10 days ago but am definitely on the rebound. I really do feel I'll be closer to "normal" than I thought possible by the time I have to start chemo again. And every day I discover another person out there who is willing to connect and share with me and that just makes me feel plain old warm and fuzzy inside. I hope your pain is lessening each day from the loss of your wife and the memories and good feelings have taken over.
  4. Thank you, each of you, for responding to my "introduction". It gives me one of those nice, soothing, comforting feelings knowing you ladies are here. I'm learning a whole new perspective to One Day At A Time. I'm learning 2 good days followed by a maybe-not-so-good day is my new current "normal" and that's okay. I've learned there are a lot of wonderful people in my life who are ready to do whatever I ask of them if I need help or a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold. I'm learning to listen to every nuance of my body. I will keep coming back here because it feels like a nice, safe, homey place, with good people. Thank you again.
  5. Newbie Cathy here. Just strolling around trying to get my feet back under me. Had my first colonoscopy 3 years ago at which time they found and removed two benign polyps. Turns out they missed one the first time, thank goodness, because by the time it was caught when I went in for my 3-year re-check, it had turned into cancer. Because of that, I had a pelvic CT scan, an abdomen CT scans and a chest x-ray. Thank goodness for the chest x-ray because they found a 3.3 cm tumor in my upper right lung. A needle biopsy was performed, it was malignant but it was a second primary, NOT metastasized from the colon cancer! Because of having two primaries present, a PET scan was performed and no other surprises were found. I underwent a lobectomy on Sept. 30. Because I am "relatively young" (54), it was recommended - and I chose - to go through 4 rounds of chemo with Cisplatin and Alimta. My first session was Nov. 1. I developed a nasty headache that night and because I have an aneurysm titanium coil from 2000 in my brain, the doctor decided to pull me in for an MRI just to make sure the coil was safe and sound. Thank goodness for my aneurysm history. because the MRI had found a brain tumor, probably metastasize from the lung tumor! The chemo has been put on hold and I am now undergoing 20 rounds of whole-head radiation. The original colo-rectal cancer has yet to be dealt with but the doctors are pretty sure it all came out with the polyp but want to do a surrounding tissue excision at some point in the future. Obviously, that has become a way back-burner issue for now. So there. I've introduced myself.
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