kate1621

I was lurking when you posted this. ( I was working at the time) My thoughts were enormous, but the words seemed so small, so here goes nothin'. I wonder if you're confusing yourself w/someone else? I've read your posts. Your words aren't those of someone that failed. There the words of someone that loved their mother tenderly, and provided the best possible care. I only hope I can be a similar caregiver. I won't claim to understand how you feel, but I hope you won't make any major decisions immediately, and regret them later. I also hope you won't be consumed by your anger. Kate

Thanks for speedy response!! How does chemo work? All day long? Can you pick which days if it's not every day? Can you pick times of day? Sorry if questions are silly, I'm really just trying to figure out what adjustments I need to make. Thanks so very much--the work situation has been very shaky, and I'm really scrambling here. Kate

Hi, I'm trying to figure out which appointments I need to be present for. I'm leaning towards consultations/discussions for now. Missing work for all the tests is going to render us homeless, seems we've been forsaken by the rent fairy. Do I need to be available for all future treatment appointments as well? (radiation/chemo) Any/all insights are greatly appreciated. Regards, Kate

Hello, My SO has sort of been diagnosed--pancoast tumor, stage 2/maybe 3. The testing has stretched over 2 months now, and are continuing. Is this normal? If not, what is, and how do I expedite this? Is it the doctors? The insurance company? Or are my expectations unreasonable? Also, the oncologist wasn't told by primary doctor that he has heart disease, and early emphysema. Is this normal? Can he reccommend treatment, and surgery w/out knowing this? It seems strange to me that a doctor can reccommend surgery w/out a complete history. I'm getting a crash course in his insurance hmo as well. I think we need to meet w/hospital financial department or something for help w/coordination. Can/should he start applying w/SSI though he's still working part time? He's in a lot of pain, and his job is physically demanding, can't see him doing this full time for much longer. The money situation is tight, and we need to figure out basic living expenses. For what it's worth, I apologize for barreling in like a steam roller. Thanks for being here, Kate

Well, w/all your input, I guess I can face this new day w/ a renewed hope that I can do this. Thanks for that. It's comforting to know that anger/frustration is just par for the course. Yesterday I really felt like a monster for feeling less than compassionate/kind. I have no real help, only hinderance, and correcting that is going to be a little tough, but it sounds like I've got to get around that. Thanks so much, Kate

Hi all, My SO is newly diagnosed, tests still being done. Needless to say, my life has been turned upside down, with the worst still ahead of us. He's been dealing w/a high fever on and off this week, too. I'm starting to feel defeated. Running to appointments, the ER, work, up and down w/him all night long--I'm just plain tired. I ran to pharmacy today, pharmacist was singing my praises, Oh mighty saint, and I just wanted to cry. I'm weak, constantly trying to "catch up", feeling like I'm failing miserably. Not exactly the actions of a saint. He's very uncooperative. I'm already prodding and cajoling just to get the fever addressed, and we haven't even started treatment yet. I know he's scared, overwhelmed, but my patience is wearing thin with his inaction. My lack of sleep isn't helping my temperament either. It certainly takes a special kind of person to do what I need to do, I just hope there's some sort of learning curve, as I acclaimate myself. Thanks for being here--though I'm just now posting, I've been visiting for awhile. Regards, Kate

Thanks so much for the welcome. So far, tests indicate NSCLC, pancoast tumor, possibly stage 2 or 3, more test coming over next 2 weeks. I can't help but wonder why they keep saying more tests, pushing treatment back, as doctor has mentioned treatment, then surgery. This past week, he's had a reoccurring high fever lasting 4-5 hours, then reappears a few hours later--tests, trip to the ER, and he continues to go to work. I was finally able to get an antibiotic for him today, so hopefully sleep is in my near future. Thanks again. Kate

Hi, I've been lurking for a bit now, can never seem to find time to post a real introduction, so bits and peices is best I can do for now. My SO is in initial diagnosis process--ongoing for 9 weeks now. Seems like forever-- slow torture. With each test, the light at the end of a tunnel seems to be an oncoming train. I have so many questions/thoughts, yet so little free time. The information here has been very helpful, and is greatly appreciated. Regards, Kate