[What You've Done]

P.S. I'm glad we could help with your decision.

P.S.S. What is his diagnosis? I know it's probably in your introduction post, but it helps us a lot if you put something in your profile. You can use some of the others as examples.

ONCE AGAIN - GO KATE GO!

The scary part is that I don't know that he has a diagnosis yet, other than pancoast tumor, possibly stage 2 or 3. The testing has been ongoing since mid-june.

I will be attending first consultation on Friday, w/radiation oncologist. Next one is following Monday, w/thoracic surgeon, to schedule a biopsy.

I have no confidence in the process to date. It's been botched, of that I'm sure, from speaking w/ nurse at American Cancer Society. He has pulmonary test, and MRI scheduled this week. I have a feeling that there will be more tests coming, before final consultation w/oncologist to discuss treatment options.

I've moved up all tests to best of my ability, and have had contact w/HMO for referral authorizations.

I feel better about how things are progressing now. I'm fighting the frustration/anger I feel towards those that were instrumental in the delays. I'm also frustrated w/his responsibility in fostering the delays. I realize that there's no time for the blame game, but he could've been in treatment already, instead of tripping over/tip toeing around egos and power issues. Like we need more obstacles.

Hopefully, by August 14th, I'll be able to construct a history for my signature line.

Until then, I'm focusing on getting things arranged, and providing him w/the help he needs to fight this monster.

Thanks again.

Kate

[What You've Done]

I just wanted to express my appreciation. I've learned that my boyfriend's diagnosis process has turned into a colossall circus, and though I can't undo the damage, I've taken many steps to be corrective/proactive, thanks to you all here.

His family has been handling things, which has meant my exclusion, even though we live together. The process has been botched/delayed.

This has ceased. I've taken the bull by the horns w/his cooperation, and am feeling more confident in getting him into treatment.

For now, it's going to rest on my shoulders, but I'm hoping that there will be support in the future.

I've managed to reel in test dates/consultations, find good sources of info when I can't understand the terminology, and am feeling more and more that maybe I can do this.

All positive steps forward originated here, from your own experiences, and the links in your sig lines.

I've lurked for a little bit now, feeling as though I know you. Getting up one day to read of the losses brought tears for strangers, which was so odd. Then came the anger and fear, as I realized that the words could be my own in the future. Then came the guilt for being "mad", which flung me back into the reality that this monster kills; even warriors can be overcome.

And to think, I used to like roller coasters.

Thanks for being here.

[More on My Mother's Passing]

I was lurking when you posted this. ( I was working at the time) My thoughts were enormous, but the words seemed so small, so here goes nothin'.

I wonder if you're confusing yourself w/someone else? I've read your posts. Your words aren't those of someone that failed. There the words of someone that loved their mother tenderly, and provided the best possible care. I only hope I can be a similar caregiver.

I won't claim to understand how you feel, but I hope you won't make any major decisions immediately, and regret them later. I also hope you won't be consumed by your anger.

Kate

[How to Balance/Prioritize]

Thanks for speedy response!!

How does chemo work? All day long? Can you pick which days if it's not every day? Can you pick times of day? Sorry if questions are silly, I'm really just trying to figure out what adjustments I need to make.

Thanks so very much--the work situation has been very shaky, and I'm really scrambling here.

Kate

[How to Balance/Prioritize]

Hi,

I'm trying to figure out which appointments I need to be present for. I'm leaning towards consultations/discussions for now. Missing work for all the tests is going to render us homeless, seems we've been forsaken by the rent fairy.

Do I need to be available for all future treatment appointments as well? (radiation/chemo)

Any/all insights are greatly appreciated.

Regards,

Kate

[Diagnosis taking 2 Months]

Hello,

My SO has sort of been diagnosed--pancoast tumor, stage 2/maybe 3. The testing has stretched over 2 months now, and are continuing.

Is this normal? If not, what is, and how do I expedite this? Is it the doctors? The insurance company? Or are my expectations unreasonable?

Also, the oncologist wasn't told by primary doctor that he has heart disease, and early emphysema. Is this normal? Can he reccommend treatment, and surgery w/out knowing this? It seems strange to me that a doctor can reccommend surgery w/out a complete history.

I'm getting a crash course in his insurance hmo as well. I think we need to meet w/hospital financial department or something for help w/coordination.

Can/should he start applying w/SSI though he's still working part time? He's in a lot of pain, and his job is physically demanding, can't see him doing this full time for much longer. The money situation is tight, and we need to figure out basic living expenses.

For what it's worth, I apologize for barreling in like a steam roller.

Thanks for being here,

Kate

[New Here]

Well, w/all your input, I guess I can face this new day w/ a renewed hope that I can do this. Thanks for that. It's comforting to know that anger/frustration is just par for the course. Yesterday I really felt like a monster for feeling less than compassionate/kind.

I have no real help, only hinderance, and correcting that is going to be a little tough, but it sounds like I've got to get around that.

Thanks so much,

Kate

[New Here]

Hi all,

My SO is newly diagnosed, tests still being done. Needless to say, my life has been turned upside down, with the worst still ahead of us.

He's been dealing w/a high fever on and off this week, too.

I'm starting to feel defeated. Running to appointments, the ER, work, up and down w/him all night long--I'm just plain tired. I ran to pharmacy today, pharmacist was singing my praises, Oh mighty saint, and I just wanted to cry. I'm weak, constantly trying to "catch up", feeling like I'm failing miserably. Not exactly the actions of a saint.

He's very uncooperative. I'm already prodding and cajoling just to get the fever addressed, and we haven't even started treatment yet. I know he's scared, overwhelmed, but my patience is wearing thin with his inaction. My lack of sleep isn't helping my temperament either.

It certainly takes a special kind of person to do what I need to do, I just hope there's some sort of learning curve, as I acclaimate myself.

Thanks for being here--though I'm just now posting, I've been visiting for awhile.

Regards,

Kate

[Quick Hello]

Thanks so much for the welcome.

So far, tests indicate NSCLC, pancoast tumor, possibly stage 2 or 3, more test coming over next 2 weeks. I can't help but wonder why they keep saying more tests, pushing treatment back, as doctor has mentioned treatment, then surgery.

This past week, he's had a reoccurring high fever lasting 4-5 hours, then reappears a few hours later--tests, trip to the ER, and he continues to go to work. I was finally able to get an antibiotic for him today, so hopefully sleep is in my near future.

Thanks again.

Kate

[Quick Hello]

Hi,

I've been lurking for a bit now, can never seem to find time to post a real introduction, so bits and peices is best I can do for now.

My SO is in initial diagnosis process--ongoing for 9 weeks now. Seems like forever-- slow torture. With each test, the light at the end of a tunnel seems to be an oncoming train.

I have so many questions/thoughts, yet so little free time.

The information here has been very helpful, and is greatly appreciated.

Regards,

Kate