situation--I hope I used the right words

[lilyjohn]

Something happened yesterday and I had to think quick. At first I didn't know what to say but decided to say what I feel in my heart. I just hope it was the right thing to say.

I have a client who is almost 95. She is reasonably healthy. Her main problem is that she is going blind and she has early stage dementia. Most of my clients have moderate to severe dementia so they live in what I call a state of ignorant bliss. They just don't realize that anything is wrong with them. This lady is different she knows and that is part of the problem.

She had been talking a lot about death lately. Yesterday she asked me why she is still here. She feels that there is no longer a purpose for her life. She said that she knows that she is healthy and will probably live to 100 and she just can't understand why.

I told her that none of us really understand our reason for being here no matter how long we live. I said that I could only tell her what my beliefs are. I believe that we all have a purpose for every minute that we live. I believe that each person who lives will touch many lives no matter if they live only minutes. God has his reasons for us being here even tho we may not understand them. Sometimes we are here just because someone needs to love us or be loved by us. That can be enough reason by itself.

I told her that is why I believe so strongly that it is wrong to take a life under any circumstances. If a person dies even one hour sooner than God has planned for them they may miss someone they are supposed to touch. Gods reasons will be shortchanged.

She then asked what happens to those who take their own lives. That really put me on the spot. I'm not sure if that is what she is thinking or not. I just told her that I don't know but that person would be interfering with God's plans and He would probably not be too happy.

This morning I called her daughter and told her about that conversation. She told me that she has talked with her in much the same way but has never asked about a person taking their own life. She says that her mom has been her rock all of her life and she can't imagine not having her here but she feels so sorry for her. She knows how tired she is but she thinks that I used the right words that may help.

I'm just not sure if what I did was the right thing. I just don't think anyone should feel so useless. The things I told her are what I really do believe but I worry that they were just not enough. Please keep this dear lady in your prayers. It must be so hard to feel that you have outlived your usefullness.

[antoinettev3]

Your words were perfect. What an incredibly kind person you are to take the time to help this woman.

My Grandmother use to ask all the time why God wasn't taking her. For over 10 years every time I would see her she would say that she's ready to go but God wasn't ready for her. She finally passed away at 96 after suffering a stroke and while I miss her terribly I'm at peace knowing she's with the Lord. Everything is in His time.

I hope that your words will help this woman to try and find the positive in her life even though she can't do what she use to.

Bless you for caring.

Antoinette