thrashej Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Hi, My name is Janice and I am so glad to have found this site. I have read many of your stories and am so touched and amazed by the strength of you all. I am struggling in my own family battle and hope to get some help here. About me....I am 29, a nursing student, married. My father (60yrs) was dx back in November 2005 with extensive SCLC with mets to brain (4 lesions), pancreas. He had one lung tumor in his pleural cavity. He had a couple rounds of chemo (carbo and Vp16)and whole brain radiation. Most the tumors shrunk but a NEW ONE appeared in the other lung despite chemo. So...he started two rounds of topotecan but ended up needing a blood trasplant due to anemia. He had a PET scan last week and will get the results tomorrow. I am very afraid. He has fallen very depressed. In the beginning he was very hopeful but that has faded. He takes many pain meds and has even started in with some other "illegal" drugs. (he was a previous alcoholic/addict). He has no significant other and lives with my drug addict brother (yeah, NOT the best place, but it is what he wants). He is irritable and very sad most the time. He doesn't even want to talk much to anyone anymore. He turns his phone off so you can't leave a message. It is very, very sad. He says now he has a very constant pressure on his stomach and I think he truly feels now that he is dying (pancreas mets?) I guess the tumors can just keep growing and growing despite all the tx?? How sad. My father is a special situation. He also is bi polar. He is so hard to deal with yet I feel so guilty for getting frustrated with him. I hope that if he is dying now it will be quick.....My family and I (sister and bro) are trying our best to deal but we all feel like we are falling apart. All I want to do is sit in my room and cry. Sometimes I will want to go for a hike in the fresh air to feel better but then I feel guilty for having too much fun, like I shouldn't be having fun when someone I love is dying. I cannot believe how devastating this is. I have never lost anyone close to me before even by natural causes. I feel like emotionally I am not going to be able to cope... Cancer is a horrible, horrible thing..... Please introduce yourself to me. I would love to hear from others who have SCLC as well. I would like to know also if some of you had family members that died of this. What can I expect ahead of me?? Thank you all!!! Janice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorja Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Hi Janice, I know exactly what you are going through. My dad was diagnosed 19 months ago with SCLC but it was limited. Although he is doing good now, it has been a scary ride. I am 28 and about to get married in October. I am sooo afraid something will happen before then. It is quite a roller coaster ride of emotions...you are not alone. Don't give up. Whatever the results of his PET scans, I am sure the doctors will have another plan of action. Are you going with him to get the results? We are here for you. Please keep us posted. My prayers are with you and your family. love, jorja Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe B Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Janice I am sorry to hear about your Dad. there are many, many good & loving people here that can help you along the way. I do not have any advice or experiences with SCLC but I wish you the best and can tell you that my relationship with God and with family & friends have given me the strength I have needed so far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Welcome to the board Janice. I lost my mom to SCLC. I think she knew before any of us that she wasn't going to make it. Like your dad she did not talk much, and we all found that very frustrating, but I guess that was the best way for her to deal with it. I will keep you dad in my prayers and I hope the test results come back good and give your dad the hope he needs. Please let us know how things go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Welcome Janice, I'm truly sorry that you are going throught such a difficult time. I don't know to much about SCLC my Dad had NSCLC but I could relate to all the emotions that your feeling.. The only thing I could say to you is just be there for him no matter what his mood is. I feel blessed that when my Father was really sick and not in the best of moods I didn't lose it with him, because now That he gone I don't feel bad for not being there, or losing my patience with him.. I feel like I did everything I could to make me comfortable and I told him I Loved him all the time during that dreadful time.. Stay Strong Mcihele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I am too sorry that your in this awful situation. I lost my dad to SCLC very quickly in 2004. It only took 6 months from Dx to his passing. I lost my mom to NSCLC in 2003. She too was only 6 months. My father in law to SCLC in 2005, his was weeks from dx to passing. This is almost the most unbearable situation you will ever be put into. It changes you. It makes you .... less you. Its like cancer not only robs us of our loved ones, a part of us is gone as well. I can't speculate on your dads condition or how long he may be here since no of us knows. My dad was doing great and it was like a switch flipped and within weeks he was gone. Don't feal any guilt. It will consume you if you let it. This is hard enough so if you get a chance to "forget" cancer for a few hours, do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyk Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Janice, Hi...and so sorry that you've had to find us, but SOOO glad you have. I just turned 31 (lord, i'm getting old! LOL) and Mom was diagnosed in May of '05 with NSCLC. I know it's not "the same"...but some things are...like the way you're feeling right now. Lordy, woman, I've been there. I'm lucky that Mom and I have always been close enough for me to tell her anything...so when i felt like i SHOULDN'T be happy she shut the door on that right away. She (and i'm sure your dad) want our happiness!! We're still their children, regardless. As for Dad...is he still taking his meds for the bi-polar disorder?? Some of the other drugs (legal and illegal) could be effecting those, too. Just do as you've been doing, love him, support him...and try not to be too tough on him...he's going thru alot, too. You're always welcome to send me a message if you'd like. Love and prayers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thrashej Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 Thank you all for taking the time to reply to me. PET scan came back. Tx with Hycamtin (Topotecan) did not work. Tumors have grown and there are more. Topotecan was second line tx so I wonder what comes now...hospice??? My Dad has an appt Friday and I am going to go with him. They only told him so much over the phone. Yes, he is bipolar and drug addict, but he does not take medicine. He has never controlled it. Always thought meds were a bunch of BS. That is why he is so nuts and so hard to deal with. My brother has the same prob but chooses to take drugs instead. Horrible. I wish they would take better care of themselves. To make matters worse, my Dad plays the "guilt" card. No matter how busy you are, he will day "so, when are you going to come spend time with me??" He can be very, very, annoying. I am trying to keep a cool head. Compound all this by the fact that I didn't have the best childhood and we did not have the best of relationships...thanks to his history of addiction. So all those feelings are coming up. And then I feel guilty for feeling mad. It's a big POTPOURRI of feelings, LOL...!! Well, if anyone has any stories to share about SCLC and it's course, I would be interested. I checked out the links in the personal stories thread but you cannot search which makes it pretty time consuming... I look forward to visiting here. Thank you all for your support!! Janice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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