Larry Posted February 15, 2007 Posted February 15, 2007 > > Hi Sue, > > > > Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. > > > > Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been > feeling down > > lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with > you to make you > > realize it's not so bad after all . > > > > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore > you with a > > few technicalities of my job. > > > > As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear > a suit to the > > office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite > cool. So > > what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered > industrial water > > heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out > of the sea. It > > heats it to a delightful temperature. > > > > It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, > which is taped > > to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and > I've used it > > several times with no complaints. > > > > What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is > take the hose > > and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my > whole suit with > > warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. > > > > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt > started to itch. > > So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. > Within a few > > seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from > my back, but > > the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. > > > > The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it > into my > > suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the > jellyfish couldn't > > stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as > fortunate. > > > > When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually > grinding the > > jellyfish into the crack of my butt. > > > > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the > communicator. His > > instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with > five other > > divers, were all laughing hysterically. > > > > Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make > three > > agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five > minutes before > > I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry > decompression. When I > > arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass > helmet. > > > > As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of > laughter running > > down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub > it on my butt > > as soon as I got in the chamber. > > > > The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days > because my > > butt was swollen shut. > > > > So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about > how much worse > > it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. > > > > Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love > my job." > > > > Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a > jellyfish bad > > day? > > > > May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!! Quote
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