Larry Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 > > Hi Sue, > > > > Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. > > > > Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been > feeling down > > lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with > you to make you > > realize it's not so bad after all . > > > > Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore > you with a > > few technicalities of my job. > > > > As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear > a suit to the > > office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite > cool. So > > what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered > industrial water > > heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out > of the sea. It > > heats it to a delightful temperature. > > > > It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, > which is taped > > to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and > I've used it > > several times with no complaints. > > > > What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is > take the hose > > and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my > whole suit with > > warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. > > > > Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt > started to itch. > > So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. > Within a few > > seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from > my back, but > > the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. > > > > The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it > into my > > suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the > jellyfish couldn't > > stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as > fortunate. > > > > When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually > grinding the > > jellyfish into the crack of my butt. > > > > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the > communicator. His > > instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with > five other > > divers, were all laughing hysterically. > > > > Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make > three > > agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five > minutes before > > I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry > decompression. When I > > arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass > helmet. > > > > As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of > laughter running > > down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub > it on my butt > > as soon as I got in the chamber. > > > > The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days > because my > > butt was swollen shut. > > > > So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about > how much worse > > it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. > > > > Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love > my job." > > > > Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a > jellyfish bad > > day? > > > > May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.