For the Ladies.....

[Larry]

One for the ladies

>

>One day my housework-challenged husband decided to

>wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into

>the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I

>use on the washing machine?"

>"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your

>shirt?"

>He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma ."

>And they say blondes are dumb...

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>

>A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

>"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the

>world."

>The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

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>

>"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says

>as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you

>think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn

>like this?"

>"Probably that I married you for your money," she

>replied.

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>

>Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,

>sensitive man?

>A: A rumor

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>

>A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were

>celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their

>special day a good fairy came to them and said that

>because they had been so good that each one of them

>could have one wish.

>The wife wished for a trip around the world with her

>husband.

>Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in

>her hands.

>The man wished for a female companion 30 years

>younger...

>Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

>Gotta love that fairy!

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>

>Dear Lord,

>I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to

>forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because,

>Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

>AMEN

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>-

>Q: Why do little boys whine?

>A: They are practicing to be men.

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>

>Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

>A: Trustworthy.

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>

>Q: What does it mean when a man is in bed gasping

>for breath and calling your name?

>A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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>

>Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the

>toilet?

>A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

>

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>

>Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your

>e-mail?

>A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

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