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Hi, I'm still new here. Are you? Please don't be shy...


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HI everyone I just wanted to introduce myself again. My name is Cindy. I'm 33 years old.

I live in Texas with my Husband of almost 10 years, our 7 year old daughter and our 5 year old son. I previously helped in the message board, took a break but now I'm back!

Here is my story.

I lost my grandfather Thomas Payne R. in 1998 and was by his side through his c-word journey. I was the one who stayed by his and my grandmothers (Olga) side when everyone else couldn't. During his tx my grandmother had a heart attack and had a triple by pass. For awhile I helped them both out, sleeping in their rooms doing everything I could to keep them both comfortable. My Grandmother is still living. She's doing well for her age.

I also lost my Grandma Tommie to lung and brain cancer. She lived 5 hours away from me so I couldn't be there for her as much as I wanted to. I feel like now she is looking down on me from Heaven smiling.

So although I do not know a lot (I'm still learning), my hope is that anyone here will feel free to connect with me if you'd like. I'm here in the GENERAL/HEALTHY RECIPES, on Facebook (CALMENDAREZ@lungevity.org), on Twitter (@CALungevity) and reachable via e-mail.

Are there any new members here?

Thanks for carving time out of your day to read this.


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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm new. Not even really sure where to start. I feel like I cry a little each day. I haven't seen my dad this week but my mom went with him for a haircut today and all his hair is gone. Kind of makes me scared cuz I don't want to remember him sick but I don't want to not spend any time with him. I know it's OK to cry but I feel like I can't even get a word out and tell my friends how I'm feeling because all I do is cry. Just want to get a breath, ya know?

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Hi 2doglover,

I know your Dad is going through this and it is hard on you too. I feel like if I were in your shoes and I wanted to cry everyday, I would. Please understand that it is hard for him too. Maybe if you see him soon you can tell him how you feel, there is no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed for what you feel. I know everyone might expect you to "be strong" but you are human. We feel emotions. I wonder if/when you tell your Dad how you have been feeling you will feel better and he will understand because he may be feeling the same way too. I wish I would've told my Grandfather how I felt when he was losing his life. I felt like I was always "too busy". Maybe I was, just so I didn't have to feel anything. Now, I have to live with that choice. Ask yourself if being with him and being open is more important than not being around him?

I'd love to hear back from you,

Cindy A.

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My dad finished a rough round 2 of chemo and has now lost all his hair. I get the impression that he's not at all happy about it because he had a fully head of thick brown hair before all of this. I find myself not wanting to look at him too long because I don't want him to think I'm staring but not wanting to not make eye contact at all for fear he'll think I'm ignoring him. I'm the emotional one in the family. I can cry at a Folgers commercial. The rest of the family is pretty tight lipped. I've learned that doesn't really work for me.

This week he feels good and I talked to my Lungevity Buddy on the phone tonight and that was a good feeling. A good connection. My dad went to the doctor today and we found out he's probably going to do brain radiation after he finishes 2 more rounds of chemo. The doc said this is preventative - but seems a little much for prevention. Thoughts? I really want to try to share the hope. I feel like my family thinks there's this looming dark cloud of impending death over us. That we are counting the minutes until he's gone. But it seems like there are a number of survivors and people living with Stage IV lung cancer. So maybe...just maybe there's hope. No one knows the future so why not just hope for the best I guess, right?

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2 dog lover, pet/ ct scans don't scan brain. Scull bone in the way. Only thing that will find it is an MRI. Ask your dr. My guess is that ins. will pay for the radiation of the brain but not the MRI. Ask questions. Can't fix it if it ain't broke.

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