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Dog Haiku

gerbil runner

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I love my master;

Thus I perfume myself with

This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up

In the sun, happier than

You will ever be.

Today I sniffed ten

Dog bottoms - and celebrate

By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!

Paperboy - come to kill us -

Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

My human is home!

I am so ecstatic I

Have made a puddle.

Behold my choke chain -

Look, world, they will strangle me!

Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack! AACCK!!

Dig under fence-why?

Because it's there. Because it's

There. Because it's there.

My owners' mood is

Romantic - I lie near their

Feet, expelling much gas.

How do I love thee?

The ways are numberless as

My hairs on the rug.

I am your best friend,

Now, always, and certainly

When you are eating.

Look in my eyes and

Deny it. No human could

Love you quite as much.

The cat's not all bad

She fills the litter box with

Tender Tootsie-rolls.

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