Who's My Dad?

[Amy P]

These are answers taken from child support forms - #11 is a classic

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins: child A, was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party for NASCAR drivers where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you please send me his phone number? PS: I think his car color was black and white. Thanks.

04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a Chevrolet pickup that now has a hole made by my Hi-heels in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact local Chevrolet dealers in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Billy Graham confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have catastrophic implications for the economy in the South. I am torn between doing right by you, and right by the state. Please advise.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all Rednecks look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a wearing a T-shirt with a Coors logo on it.

08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

09. From the dates, it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World in Florida- maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Mrs. Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed home and watched more TV rather than going to the party on the beach, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.