Leslie Z

Have felt good enough that I was not posting here. Now the medication I was taking stopped working (crizotinib) as I was told it would. I've signed on for a clinical trial. Going today for a brain MRI. Makes me want to sing and dance to Scarecrow's song in Wizard of Oz, If I Only had a Brain! La,la, la...anyway working on positivity. one daughter turned me onto Louise Hay. I like her attitude. Might as well smile! 
Good day to all!

Long time, no write....and I appreciate those who have been answering and supportive to my rants. I'm better these days. Am visiting my other daughter in Central California. There is a view of Morro Rock from their living room....quite dramatic! My doc reduced my dose of the oral chemo from 250 mg/2x day to 200 mg because he said that I was taking a dose for a 250 lb. man (am gaining weight and weigh about 107 lbs). However since the drug is super expensive and I still have a couple of weeks left of the 250's, I'm doing the 200's in the morning and the 250's at night. The nausea has mostly disappeared (can't tell if the drugs are taking care of that or if I've become accustomed to the med) as has the dizziness, although I am still trepidatious when standing after sitting or lying down. And I don't want to drive because I just might be a danger to others. I feel so tentative about life and am awed by the accounts of others who seem to be living their lives as though they are cured. I mentioned to a friend that my good results seen from the PET scan signaled to me a 'stay of execution' and she got after me for not being positive. i thought I was being realistic. So, here I am. Out of my element and home, wondering how to deal with it. Have been thinking about signing up for guitar lessons. Wondering how to get involved if I don't have transportation and how not to be so dependent. Am finding I do have more stamina than before and yet there are days when I feel whipped and need to rest. That happened the other day and somewhere in the afternoon, it was like a switch was thrown and, voila!, I felt good again. What a weird way to be!