Joseppie

Hi Jill, My heart is with you honey! I understand completely what you're going through! My heart is breaking for you! I went through the same thing. You feel so helpless and want to do everything in the world! Just be there as much as you can! Your mom will know, believe me! Hugs, Joseppie

Hi everyone, It's been a long time since I've posted here, so I hope you don't mind, but I need your guidance. I'm approaching the 2 year mark since I lost my best friend to sclc, and it's still as hard as that first day. Me and their family are drifting apart alot each and every day. Family is extremely important to me and I know it was to my friend. I just feel like I'm disappointing my friend even though he is no longer here because it seems I've disrespected his family. I am not as strong as he wants me to be nor as his family is, but I try. He was my right arm, and I miss talking with him, especially now with the things that are going on within my family. My father is dealing with bladder cancer, and he's going for his check up this Friday. He has given up, because of the re-occurence. He's only 59, but now I have taken on the responsibility of watching out for my parents and my siblings. It's alot to take on, especially because I don't have my friend to lean on. All of my "supposed" friends, I don't hear from anymore. But, like I mentioned before, losing his family, hurts me the most. I have tried my best, but there is so much I can do. I understand that it might be too hard, and that's fine. But I feel that I have hurt them and disrespected them and there is no turning back. And I don't want my friend to see that I've hurt his family or disrespected them, because I would love to see him again, when it's my time. But it feels like I'm hurting my future as well. I may sound kinda crazy, but I'm not...lol. Thank G-d for this website! I care for you all and I wish I was more active on this website! I think of you all often, pray for you everyday for all that you've gone through and continue to go through. It's not easy! Thank you again! My prayers are with you all! If you'll have me, I will try to be there for you all each and every day! All my thoughts and prayers! Joseppie

<<<<<<>>>>>>>> Hugs to you Donna! Love you, Joseppie

To everyone who has responded to my post, I can't thank you enough!!! I will take each and every word of advice from all of you! I wish I could call each and every one of you! It means a great deal to me! I've thought about it alot, and I'm just hoping that maybe its just too much to deal with, hearing from me, seeing me, etc. I just don't want my soulmate to see that I'm not trying to make an effort, because, family is the first thing, ya know what I mean? How can I put that aside? Anyway, I'm only 35 years old, and to have lost my soulmate, my best friend, my partner, just when we were going to start a life together, it just overwhelms me sooo much. I have so many regrets because everything happened so fast and I doubt sometimes that the love of my life didn't know how much I cared! I'm sorry, I don't mean to put my needs and concerns in front of everybody else who has gone through this, please believe me. I am NOT like that! My heart goes out to everyone on this board who is dealing with this! I put everyone's elses concerns before me, that's the way I am. I am still fortunate to have my own family, but, I don't want to repeat myself to them all the time. I just basically deal with things on my own. I promise I will respond to each and every one of you who wrote to me! Thank you again! Please know that I have shoulder for you all who need it as well!

First of all, I'd like to offer a silent prayer to Carleeen and Keith!!! May our hearts and our prayers be sent to both of them! Thank you! I need advice to anyone who has experience on the abandonment of their lost loves families? I have tried relentlessly to keep in touch but now I feel like a bother. I completely understand that talking with someone may be too much to comprehend and if they never want to speak with someone again that it brings up too many heartfelt memories, I understand that. But, shouldn't that person be told? To not just completely write them off and not correspond to them and ignore them? Is that right? I lost my soul mate, my life partner, my best friend alittle over 7 months ago. Friends and family do not even respond to my calls anymore and maybe an occassional email. If it's too hard, I understand, but should I be ignored? That's how I'm feeling right now! Yes I have my own family who is comforting, but I wanted to be a part of their family as well, as well as friends, and I feel like I'm being shut out. I'm at a loss, because I don't want my best friend to feel like I'm not making an effort, but their is just sooooo much I'm dealing with. I don't want to ruin my chance to be with them for eternity! Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated! Thank you all for listening! Sorry this is so long!

Hi everyone, sorry, found another song, very touching. It's called "Silent Prayer" by Shanice. This goes out to everyone who has a loved one fighting this horrible disease. Should anyone want this song, I have it on my computer, just im me. God be with you all!! Silent Prayer by Shanice I send to you my silent prayer Before I sleep at night I send to you my silent prayer Baby, so you'll be alright Every morning I think of you I just can't shake off my dreams, no, no I read the paper and watch the news I don't know what it means When you do what you've got to do You must know that I'm here with you Every breath that I take, I hope and I pray Sweet baby, baby be okay Silent prayer Silent prayer Silent prayer I send to you my silent prayer I hold a picture of a golden sunset And I'll take your hand We're gonna walk down that promised road Just like we planned Cause I know what I'm gonna do Just as soon as I'm back with you Every breath that I take, I hope and I pray Sweet baby, baby be okay Silent prayer Silent prayer Silent prayer I send to you my silent prayer

"Remember Me" by Debbie Ann Walters To the living, I am gone. To the sorrowful, I will never return. To the angry, I was cheated. But to the happy, I am at peace. And to the faithful, I have never left. I cannot speak, But I can listen. I cannot be seen, But I can be heard. So as you stand upon a shore, Gazing at a beautiful sea- Remember me. As you look in awe at a mighty Forest and its grand majesty- Remember me. Remember me in your heart, Your thoughts, And your memories Of the times we cried, The times we fought, The times we laughed. For if you always think of me, I will have never gone.

To me, music is very special. Everyone can relate to a song and a moment in their life. I am not one to hold back my emotions. I want to feel what I feel and do it for as long as it takes. I came across 2 very special songs for all of us who have lost someone very close and dear to our hearts and I just wanted to name the 2 songs and their artists so people could maybe listen to them and think of their loved ones and feel the emotion that's inside of them. They may bring tears to our eyes, they do to me. But that's okay! It's been awhile since I posted last and I apologize for that. I just wanted to share with you all, since you were there for me when I lost someone very special to lung cancer. Anyway, the songs are: "Probably wouldn't be this way" by Leann Rimes and "If you came back from Heaven" by Lorrie Morgan I don't mean to make anyone sad. They are just really good songs. All my thoughts and prayers are with everyone here and to their loved ones. God bless you! Joseppie

Dear Val, I have not yet gone through the pain of losing a parent, but, let me just say, you never get over it. And, you don't have to. I lost my best friend to lung cancer alittle over 2 months ago. It still hurts just as fresh like it was yesterday. Not that it's the same as losing a parent, but we were best friends and it's extremely hard to imagine him not being here anymore. I am still extremely upset! Like everyone here has said, take all the time you need! Grieve, cry, do whatever you want to do! And take as long as you want! There is no time limit to grieving for someone who meant the world to you! Hugs and prayers coming your way, Joe

I hope this is comforting to people, that's why I wanted to post this here. My best friend Mark turned me on to an amazing singer, Josh Groban. We both liked him very much, he is an incredible singer with an amazing voice! Anyway, in the movie "TROY", at the end of the movie, Josh Groban sings an incredible song, that I think is extremely touching and I hope in some sense, is comforting to everyone here who has lost someone extremely close to them, either it be a friend, a spouse, a family member, whatever. Anyway, here are the words. God bless everyone here on this board! My heart goes out to each and every one of you and to those we have lost! Remember, I will still be here, As long as you hold me, in your memory Remember, when your dreams have ended, Time can be transcended, Just remember me I am the one star that keeps burning, so brightly, It is the last light, to fade into the rising sun I'm with you, Whenever you tell, My story, For I am all I've done Remember, I will still be here, As long as you hold me, in your memory, Remember me I am that one voice, in the cold wind, That whispers, And if you listen, you'll hear me call across the sky As long as, I still can reach out, and touch you, Then I will never die Remember, I'll never leave you, If you will only, Remember me Remember me... Remember, I will still be here, As long as you hold me, In your memory Remember, When your dreams have ended, Time can be transcended, I live forever, Remember me Remember me, Remember... me...

One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey Sorry I never told you All I wanted to say And now it's too late to hold you 'Cause you've flown away So far away Never had I imagined Living without your smile Feeling and knowing you hear me It keeps me alive Alive And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Darling, I never showed you Assumed you'd always be there I took your presence for granted But I always cared And I miss the love we shared And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Although the sun will never shine the same I'll always look to a brighter day Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep You will always listen as I pray And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Sorry I never told you All I wanted to say

God bless you Di! Great to hear! Keep it up! Joe

All my prayers and support are with you both! Joseppie

Thank you all very much for your care, concern, and support! It means so much to me! I know what Mark would want me to do, I just can't do it. He was a brother to me and I just can't imagine my life without him being here. Besides the hurt of losing someone close, it hurts just the same, that I'm not able to do what he would want me to do. Like everyone here who has lost someone very dear to them, I feel like I'm dying inside. I've even asked God, to have mercy on me and take me, so I don't have to feel this pain anymore. I know this is very selfish and I don't mean to be that way. But, that's just how I feel. I know I can be honest with all of you and I thank you very much for that! I hate "dealing" with this. I hate going to work and putting on a face like I'm okay. I'm doing it for Mark's sake, but that's about it. Usually, I'm not like this and try to deal with things on my own, but I've never lost someone so close to me. For the people who know Donna, I have talked to her. She called me recently and we talked for awhile. It was great to hear her voice. She's like a sister to me. Anyway, I just wanted to respond to all of you who responded to my post and say "thank you" from all of my heart. Thank you for listening again! All my love and support goes out to everyone on this website! You are all angels sent from Heaven!

I'm sorry everyone, I don't mean to intrude. I joined this site and have read many posts to try and cope with the loss of my best friend Mark. I posted on this site a couple weeks ago, and only posted on the newcomers group. I'm just having a really difficult time. Mark was my best friend, he was like a brother to me. He watched out for me, he taught me so much, he made me a better person. With his class and his style, he made me a better person. He was the greatest influence on me. I don't mean to say "was" either, because he still "is". I know it's probably because of the season it is right now, but, I have felt this way since he passed away back in November. He was my right arm, I could call him and talk to him, and go see him if I needed anything. A couple months ago, he was there for me, while I was going through a difficult time. I've been diabetic for over 22 years. I was having trouble with my eyesight due to it. The past couple months, I've had differing opinions, and I thought everything was going well. It's still alright, but, in September, I went back to the eye doctor, and I didn't get a good prognosis. Don't feel sorry for me, I just wanted to tell you, that, through all that Mark was going through at the time, he made it a point to look out for me, and help me. This is the kind of person that Mark was. He is truly special. And it breaks my heart that this happened to him. Like everyone else here, it truly is heart-wrenching to hear the stories of the trials and tribulations of the people here on this website. Either it being the people going through treatment, the people lost, or the care givers who share in the pain of their loved ones. My heart goes out to each and every one of you! I've lost a fair amount of people in my family and friends to cancer. It is truly a disgusting disease. I recently lost my great aunt to cancer about 2 weeks ago. A month after I lost my best friend in the whole world. I've lost a grandmother, a cousin, and many other people too. My father, after a 6 month clean bill of health, has recently started chemo again for 6 weeks. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer a year and a half ago. I don't mean to make this sound like a pity party for me, because I'm not like that. I just really can't deal with losing Mark! My life will never be the same without him! I really feel that I can't go on. Venting to each other about our work days, meeting for dinner to just hang out. Like my subject says, I just can't. Thank you for listening!!!!!!!! And thank you all for being there for Mark and his sister Donna! I know you all have helped and prayed for Mark and Donna and his family! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Sorry this was a novel! I just needed someone to talk to!