dihen
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Posts posted by dihen
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Kathleen, there is never an easy answer, but I think based on what you have shared that it does make sense to wait it out for a bit before making any decision about the chemo treatment.
I'm sorry that your mom and family have to deal with this horrible beast and I wish you the best as you move forward. My mom was just told that her first post-surgery Pet Scan shows NED, which makes me happy, but at the same time I remain guarded about this news, as I know this is a beast that likes to strike again:-( So for now, I try to just treasure the day by day with my mom.
All the best to you and your mom!
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My sympathy goes out to you and your family during this very sad time. Your dad's situation towards the end sounds much like my sister's FIL's situation when cancer had spread to his spine and legs - the pain was horrendous when they would try to reposition him or have him sit up, etc.
May you find comfort knowing that your dad is now free from pain, and flying with the angels!
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Hi Jane, sorry to hear about your dad's situation! Hope it's not cancer!! My mom's ordeal with cancer started with a cough that just wouldn't go away, and was diagnosed initially by an a spot that showed up on her x-ray after going to see her doctor. The following week, she had a CT scan and received the results on the same day, so your father should have his results back by now. After the CT scan, a needle biopsy was ordered to confirm if the tumor/spot on the CT was in fact cancer and if so, what type of cancer. And once it was confirmed to be cancer, she immediately had a Pet Scan to identify the stage of her cancer. Since her official diagnosis of cancer on January 31, life became a vacuum of emotions for my family and me, and just settled down last week when mom's first post-surgery Pet Scan came back clean, or showed NED!
Please know that there is the possibility that the spot found on your dad's lung could be something other than cancer! My mom was a smoker for 30 years before she quit in 1988. She developed emphysema, and over the last 10 years or so before we heard that she had the dreaded C word, she had a couple of false alarms with unusual spots, which ended up being abscesses, that showed up on her lung xrays.
Waiting for the answers can be very trying, and sometimes you have to push to get them. I hope your dad gets a good result!!!!!!
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Congratulations, and thank you for sharing a message of hope!
May god continue to keep you and bless you!
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I don't have too much advice, only wanted to say that I am so sorry to hear about your dad, and how badly it is impacting your mom. I imagine that it is very, very hard to be the main financial source (health insurance) and also be the main emotional support for a loved one at the same time.
I don't know if she would be open to the idea but if there is a local cancer support group, she might want to think about joining it. Since you and another sibling live near by, perhaps one of you could attend the support group with her while the other one sits with your father so your mom doesn't have to worry about him while she is at the meetings. I think it might be good if she can talk about how she is feeling...instead of trying to run and hide from those feelings.
All the best!
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I'm sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis, and what seems to be a lack of compassion from her present oncologist. I definitely think they should be doing more testing to determine if the nodes and other spots are/aren't cancerous! Hopefully MD Anderson will be able to give you a clearer picture of what you mom is dealing with, and better direction to how her cancer can be treated.
In any event, do not give up HOPE...other people have beaten this monster...and so can your mom!!
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Lynda, look under SCLC, posting entitled "It Does Work". This might be the link: http://lchelp.org/community/viewtopic.php?t=22753
tnmynatt you mentioned, *Don's Miracle*, I've searched and searched but can't find a posting???
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Dear Sandy,
I think all families second guess the decisions they make with/for their loved ones. I don't know you at all on a personal level but from reading your posts I know you really loved Jim, so don't drive yourself crazy...just look into your heart...and know that all the decisions you helped Jim make or made for Jim, you did so because you loved him!!!!
God bless you and give you peace!
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Libby, that is wonderful news about your mom! It brought tears to my eyes to read that your mom is getting back to her normal self, and is starting to enjoy life again! I know what a relief that must be for your mom and everyone in her life. The biggest hopes that my family and I have for my mom are that she remains stable, and gets back to some normalacy in her life. It's so hard to see her down, and unable to do the regular things that she enjoys.
Continued good wishes for your mom!!!!
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All the best wishes for a successful treatment and subsequent healing!!!!!
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I'm so glad your dad had a successful surgery, and hope that things will continue to improve for him, and he will get back on track in his treatments.
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I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mother! May you find peace knowing that your mom is safely home with god, and out of pain. My deepest condolences to you and your family..
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Congratulations Jan, and continued good health!
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Jodi, so sorry to hear about the passing of your mother! I'm glad that you were able to be there with her and lovingly release her into heaven, where you will see her again!! May god bless you and give you strength at this very trying time...
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{{{Tom}}} Wishing you all the best as you recover from your surgery and hoping for a clean pathology report. As a few others have said, if the pain gets too bad, ask your docs for something stronger. All the best!
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Thanks Linda, Ralph and Don for your very helpful comments. I imagine that everyone’s recovery is different, and oxygen needs are different from person to person. I guess the hard things about this disease are the ‘not knowing’ and ‘waiting’ it out periods. My family is not the most patient and sometimes we want things yesterday but we are learning to take it day to day with mom and hold on to all the small victories along the way.
Linda, your mom’s spirit/fight is so encouraging. I’m sorry for her setback and hope that she continues to recover and ultimately becomes less dependent on oxygen.
Ralph, thank you for your encouragement, and sorry to hear that you had a recent bout with pneumonia. I know pneumonia has always been the big fear in our family with my mom’s COPD. She had landed in the hospital twice with weird lung abscesses and once with a pneumonia, and boy, it took her months to get back on her feet. Hope you recover quickly.
Don, yes, mom sort of went through the same thing as you when she first woke up from surgery. Just sitting up was challenging for her in terms of getting out of breath. I am so glad to hear that you are able to walk a mile in 16 minutes – that is really great, and that you are doing well overall. It was very encouraging to read about your progress – thanks for sharing.
Thanks again – all of you.
Diane
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{{{Lindy}}} - I am very sorry to hear about Mike's pain, and that hospice will be called in. I will keep both of you in my prayers...I'm sorry that you have to go through this horrible nightmare!
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Mom had a right lower lobectomy on March 8, with an extended hospital stay and air leak, but finally got the chest tube for the air leak out on March 31.
She is getting very depressed because she needs oxygen almost 24/7 and easily gets out of breath with the smallest amounts of exertion even when she is connected to the oxygen. She is using 2L at rest and 3L with exertion.
Mom has had severe COPD since 1990 but remained active but prior to surgery, her pulmonary function tests were lower than the norm, and there was some question as to whether she was a surgical candidate. Her pulmologist said "no" but the lung surgeon said "yes". She basically rolled the die and opted for surgery. I just scanned her pre-surgery reports and her FEV1 before surgery was 0.97 (or 48% of predicted). I don't know what this means but I am wondering if her oxygen-dependency is just related to surgery or if it is a sign that she will not get back enough lung function to live without oxygen? Her surgeon keeps saying 'she looks bad on paper but a much different story in person'. I guess my question is this: is a month after surgery too early to determine if she will need oxygen 24/7?
We keep telling her to give it more time, she will get better, but are we giving her false hope?! She hates being dependent on all of us, especially when it comes to cleaning her house and cooking for her, two things that she always took pride in before she got lung cancer. Even with her severe COPD, she always perservered and found a way to keep active, and do for herself and my dad.
Is it normal for some people to be on oxygen for long periods of time, like over a month? She will start pulmonary therapy in early May and maybe that will help improve her lung function?
Whenver I see her, she looks great but then when she moves around and get breathless, she starts to cry..and then I just lose it.
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First of all, congratulations on your quit! I just gave up smoking on Jan 1st, 30 days before my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer.
You are in a very tough position and as much as I understand how badly you want your mom to quit smoking, from my experience, to nag her or threaten to stay away from her until she does so will not make much of a difference. Your mom is an addict, and until she makes that decision to quit, there is not much more anyone can do. She has to want it for herself!
Emphysema had ebbed away at the life of my mother since 1990, but I continued to smoke anyway, even though I always felt guilty. Nothing could make me quit except ME.
You are so right, your mom does have it in her to quit, like so many before her, and as much as she probably wants to quit, she does not yet have the willpower or desire. You can try and force it on her but but to do so will probably put a real strain on your relationship with her. I bet that by your not smoking anymore is sending her more of a message than words could ever do. Perhaps you can just give her some supportive literature, which might motivate her?
I do understand the resentment though because my partner is a smoker and often times I want to scream "don't you see what smoking has done to mom" but I have learned that forcing someone to quit does not work, at least from my experience. Your mom might be different - maybe she would respond to some hard love?
Either way, I'm sorry that you have to watch your mom doing this to herself - it's very hard.
Congrats again though to you on your quit!!!
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{{{Kim}}}
I am so sorry for your pain and anguish! I wish there was something that I could say to ease your mind and heart but I know nothing will really suffice.
May the love you have for your mom give you peace and sustain you during this very difficult time...
Diane
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Hi Lindy,
I'm sorry to hear about Mike's hearing! The problem could be related to the radiation treatments or to an isolated event too. About 12 years ago, I woke up and had tremendous ringing in my ear that lasted for most of the day, and by day's end, I was totally deaf in my ear. In my case, they said it was caused by some virus that attacked the inner nerve. In a lot of cases though, people will get their hearing back and I sure do hope that this is the case for Mike!!
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Carleen - there is not much more that I can add that others haven't so eloquently said, but I wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for all the struggles and pain that you and Keith have had to endure in such a short period of time. And all of what you are feeling is ok, let it all out, and then you will rise up again to meet the challenges.
Hold onto Him, and when you are weak, He will carry you!
Peace be with you,
Diane
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I am very sorry about the passing of your wonderful husband! May you have peace knowing that Jim's physical battle is over, and he is now resting comfortably and without pain in heaven!
May peace and love sustain you and your family during this very difficult time.
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Nancy, I am so sorry to hear the news about your dad and how hard things are right now for you! I don't have any specific advice but wanted to let you know that I will keep you and your dad in my prayers. The only thing I can suggest is that you "follow your heart" as far as what to do....
Hoping and praying you find a solution that works for all of you!
What led to your diagnosis?
in INTRODUCE YOURSELF!
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Jane, glad to hear that your dad's test results came back clean for cancer!! What a relief!! Good luck to him as he tries to quit smoking!