lynda8716

...if anyone would like to talk.

Mom, I, too never thought this disease would get the best of my Mom. She has always been a fighter and hasn’t had the easiest of lives. My mom is under Hospice care as well although she still manages to get around on her own right now. She is very weak because she isn’t eating much. I don’t know what to say to my Mom either. My mother keeps telling me that God will take her when he wants to take her and not a minute before. I just don’t want her to leave. I am trying to be strong as are you but it’s not easy, especially when her son and two friends say they think “this is the week.” Not very encouraging. My thoughts are with you. - Lynda

Kathleen, I have a brother and two sisters. I recently got married (3 months ago) and one of my sisters didn't even come to the wedding. She saw my mother once (when she first got sick) and that has been it. She has absolutely no consciene. My other sister has had little contact with my mother since my parents got divorced. My parents were supposed to have joint custody but the judge thought my 12 year old sister (at the time) could pick who she wanted to stay with. She chose my dad and never saw my mom. My dad turned her against my mom who is the nicest, kindest, sweetest lady you could meet. She was totally devoted to her four children. My sister has come around a little bit but not much. Then there is my brother. Everyone who meets him thinks he is wonderful. He gives a great first impression. When my mother was in the hospital, he told my mother that he would come over to mow her lawn (in front of the nurses) and then the next day asked my husband to do it. He told my husband that I needed mental help (because I am so upset over my mother's situation) and that my caring for her was excessive. (I cut my hours way back at work and spend every afternoon and have just started sleeping over most evenings at her house). Imagine saying something like that! I would do anything for my mom. I have no regrets and know that I did and am doing the right thing for my mom. Unfortunately, we can't choose our family but can choose our friends and it seems like you have a lot of friends on this site. - Lynda

Sorry to hear about your recent loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family at this time. - Lynda

THANKS SO MUCH for everyone's kind words, advice and most importantly prayers. You have provided immense comfort to me in reading your posts. - Lynda

My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer back in September. The amazing thing is she never smoked in her life. She is only 64. The doctors having given up on her. She started on Tarceva, then had two rounds of chemo, radiation to different parts of her body, including whole brain and lastly gamma knife. She most recently had vertoplasty done to her spine. Cancer has totally taken over her body, yet she doesn't feel like she is dying. She had a postive outlook (until the doctors told her to get her affairs in order) and still lives on her own (although I am close by) and keeps up with her various teaching jobs. She is truly amazing. Everyone that knows her is in awe of her. Hospice "came in" about two weeks ago. They are so nice, yet the word "hospice" makes it seem like the end is near. My mom and I have always had a very close relationship and I am really having trouble coming to terms with the fact that her days are numbered. I can't imagine my life without her. As far as a support system, I don't really have one. My friends listen but don't know what to say or do because they aren't in this situation. My new husband (of 3 months) doesn't understand and doesn't know how to support me. I don't think I've ever felt more alone in my life as I do now. I am sure this is a normal feeling, but it doesn't feel very good. Any advice would be quite helpful. Thanks for "listening." - Lynda