justme2007

Hmmm . . I asked the oncologist about radiation yesterday, and he said he was concerned that if they treated the spine and brain with radiation now, that would give the cancer too much of an opportunity to spread elsewhere without chemo. Plus, her bladder/bowel, cognition and walking has not been affected by the mets(yet). I hope he knows what he's talking about! Another oncologist (the director of the place) is seeing my mom next Tuesday. My mom signed the HIPPA thing giving me permission to talk to the docs, so maybe I'll give a call and see. . . Thanks for your comments. Russ, happy to hear the radiation was so successful with your mom! Beth

Yes, the nurse said she should drink at least 2 quarts of liquid per day. I pray to God she will make it thru the baby's birth and Xmas (thru Xmas is her new goal now. I believe she will opt for no treatment if she makes it thru Xmas, so we have our fingers crossed for no complications during this chemo.) It's a race/fight against the clock here. Boy, do I have a headache . . . Nothing compared to what my mom has, so I better buck up!! Thx to all Beth

Mom has "multiple nodules" in her brain now. (I asked the oncologist how many and he said, "It doesn't say here - - " nice answer!!) 6 weeks to live with no treatment. Up to 6 months with treatment. The doc mentioned risk of paralysis and loss of bowel/bladder control if there's spinal compression. That really scared my mom, and he recommended immediate chemo despite the risks instead of radiation to the brain/spine at this point. She asked me what I thought and I told her to go for it, so she started chemo yesterday (one drug). Today she has a 2-drug treatment and Thursday she has a one-drug treatment. Friday she will get a drug to keep the white cell count up, then no treatment for a few weeks I guess. Holy sh*t, am I scared. She wants me to continue working this week, so I guess I will. It doesn't feel right at all to not be with her, but I guess I will honor her wishes. Does anyone have experience with/knowledge about someone receiving chemo when their system is very compromised to begin with???? God bless, Beth

Thx. BTW, your dogs are cute!! I have a 4 y.o. female black lab-pit.

Smallcell, yes, well one thing to be grateful for is that I won't get "fired!" lol It's very hard to focus though. My job seems so meaningless compared to my dying mother. On the other hand, since there's nothing I can do, work does give me something to keep my mind occupied (trying anyway). I am taking it day by day, one foot in front of the other. Our local hospice organization has support group meetings for caregivers. I'm looking into that for me and my dad, especially. I know there's a forum on here about that too. Prayers for you and your family. Beth P.S. Can anyone tell me how to reduce the font size in my signature so as it grows it doesn't take up so much space? Thx

Well, at this point the doc believes the risk of chemo would outweigh the potential benefit. She has severe emphysema (1/3 normal lung capacity). In terms of radiation if there are brain mets, not sure what the doc will say about that tomorrow. My mom has suffered a very long time physically and emotionally prior to diagnosis. Even with oxygen, her mobility was very, very limited. She gasps for air with minimal exertion. It seems that after the diagnosis, her mood greatly improved. I actually think she is relieved to know the end is near. I think she is at peace with her decision to forego treatment, and her family supports her because we can't stand to watch her suffer anymore. Thanks for prayers. Beth

Thank you all for your advice, thoughts and prayers. I'm very grateful for this site! Beth

My mom is having a brain scan today. I've been reading online about life expectancy with brain mets and no treatment. Seems like we might be looking at no more than 3 months left now? 'm going to the oncologist appt with my mom and dad Tomorrow to talk about results of brain scan and prognosis. I'm scared but trying very hard to stay calm. I'm trying to get a lot of work done now so I can free up time as the weeks progress. From what I've read, with brain mets (untreated)things can really deteriorate, as in loss of speech, movement, bladder/bowel control. I really don't want to see my mom that way, but I know it's out of my hands. The family was all together this weekend. My mom is so emotionally strong, I can't believe it!!! SHE reminds US to take it one day at a time! She is so matter-of-fact about stuff, and does not express fear. she is just trying to get things organized for her death and the holidays (from her bed). She has been very religious her whole life, so I'm sure she does not fear death. I'm sad for my dad b/c as he watches his wife die, he's learning how to cook for himself and do laundry for the first time. He has to bring her food, etc. Thank God hospice will help her with bathing, dressing, etc. Thanks for letting me ramble! God bless, Beth

My mom is 69 with severe emphysema. On oxygen 24/7 for about a year. We got the sclc with mets to liver and vertebrae confirmation yesterday. Doc wants to do scan of her brain. She said her pain is at a "3" on vicodin. Just sleeps all day long, but seems very peaceful. She is opting for no treatment, "for now," she said. Hospice coming in to her home starting Monday. Her primary goal is to see her first grandchild (due 12/6 -- my brother's child). The way she talks, I believe she will not have treatment even after the birth. The doc says 6 months at the outside with no treatment. I wish I knew what the REALISTIC amount of time left was, so I could decide what to do about work. I guess no one really knows, but what do I do in the meantime?!? She said yesterday, "You should worry about your business (I just started solo law practice a few months ago), and your brother should worry about his pregnant wife." MUCH easier said than done. I cannot sit here and work knowing she is dying, and realistically it could be anytime?? I am literally just trying to put one foot in front of the other. I am unmarried with no kids, my brother and his wife have no kids yet, my dad is alive but not too sharp-witted anymore. My brother and I live 1-2 hours away. I don't know if I should stay with her now full time??? I just go from being despondent, to laughing/singing to panicked to numb. I'm sure that's normal. I'm trying to have faith and to realize it's all in God's hands. I don't know what God wants ME to do in this situation. Work part time? Spend weekends with her? I am praying for guidance . . . God bless, Beth

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. She is allowing my Dad and aunt in the room with her, but she has been known to "instruct" people (my Dad mainly) to withhold info from me and my brother in the past, even though we are in our 40s! My aunt promised me that she would let me know exactly what the doc says if my mom won't let me in the room. Either way, we will know much more tomorrow hopefully. Thanks again for prayers, etc. It means a lot to me. I will post soon. Beth

My mom is 70 y.o. and has been on oxygen around the clock for severe emphysema for about a year. She had been sleeping all day and vomiting with no appetite and significant weight loss. She finally went to the doc, and MRI revealed what the doctor believes is cancer on the lung, spine and liver. Tomorrow we will find out type of cancer and prognosis. Doc already said her body could not withstand surgery. The doc put her on pain meds, anti-anxiety and antidepressant meds, along with sleep medication. She sounds very peaceful and just keeps saying, "I'm comfortable, I'm comfortable." It makes me think she would forego treatment. I'm so very, very, very sad. My brother and wife are expecting their first baby 12/4, give or take a few weeks. At least we are both 1-2 hours away from her. It's so hard to concentrate at work . . . .! We are all just counting the hours until the doc appt tomorrow. She does not want either me or my brother to me there. I am going anyway. She has "protected" us in the past from bad news. We believe it is unfair. I'm going to (gently) insist I be allowed in the room. God bless, Beth