Janet B
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Posts posted by Janet B
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Donna,
I just wanted to add my support
and let you know that you and your husband are in my prayers.
I am hopeful that he will have as amazing success as you in fighting this beast.
peace
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Thank you for opening the Air, Paulette! And Eric, I am so glad you are home safe and sound and back to your regular routine! next time, add a stop in CT on your agenda!
It is a rainy chilly day here today. I was supposed to give a group a tour of the farm this afternoon but they cancelled because of the weather. I should have used the lack of plans as an excuse to get lots done, instead I have used it as an excuse to do nothing!!
Yesterday was infusion day for me, getting to be very routine. We scheduled my next scans for mid July, that is a four month wait in between, which is the longest I have gone in a long time, so of course it makes me nervous. I had this crazy thing happen with my vision the other night, it looked like I was looking through a kaleidoscope with bright lights flashing, so of course I thought , brain tumors! But it went away so I will choose to believe it was nothing!
This weekend I have all 3 of my children coming home, and my daughters are both bringing home their boyfriends to meet us. I am a nervous wreck about it, so I have been cleaning the house and doing yardwork like a crazy person. I think I am slowly getting over the nerves, it will be fun.
It is supposed to rain most of the week, good cleaning weather, not such good weather for grocery shopping though. Oh, and the dog needs a bath. He will take forever to dry in this dampness!
Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Peace!
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I have said it before and I will say it again, Bud, your life exhausts me!! Yesterday I cleaned out the kitchen cupboards. That was my big excersise for the day! I understand what you say about the importance of excersise, I just haven't found a form of it that I like yet! Well, wait, I think walking the farm could count, right?
Ann, I can't help you with the motivation question. I am the world's greatest procrastinator. However, I think walking away and doing something you love for a bit and then going back to it may help?
It is a beautiful day here today. The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky. It is still only in the mid 60s, but you can sense summer is on the way. The forecast says we will have this weather through Sunday and then rain from then until the following Saturday. I am praying that changes as I have all 3 of my kids coming home Memorial Day weekend, two bringing along their boyfriends and I really want to spend the weekend, meals and all, outside. Plus, a week of rain and our lawn will be a foot tall!
I am headed out to the garden center to pick out some new plants for my garden. Then the rest of the day will be spent planting and weeding. Sounds perfect! (and hey, that counts as excersise too right?!).
My husband just requested pasta salad for dinner - it must be summer time!
have a wonderful day everyone!
Peace
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Curlysue
I am still working on this too, but I can tell you what I have found so far that helps.
1. Give yourself time to adjust. You worked for a long time, any one who has worked for years and then stops, cancer or not, has trouble adjusting. I loved my job, but I hated going to work everyday. I dreamed of the day I wouldn't have to anymore. When that day was forced on me, I was shocked at how lost I felt.
2. Experiment, you are free to do as you please. try something new, if you don't like it, stop, and try something different. This is your chance to do something you love without HAVING to do it. I was a preschool teacher. I love animals. I managed to find a rescue farm that has a preschool program. I volunteer, so if I don't feel up to it some days, or have Drs.. appointments, I don't have to feel bad about not going. That program is only 2 days a week, which leaves a lot of time to fill. I go to the beach, without guilt, as much as possible, I volunteer at church, I am free to visit friends, take day trips, and crochet and read to my hearts content. It is different than working everyday, but I have learned to love my new life. I have learned to be thankful for the time to live life instead of work through it.
3. Sure there are days when I am bored and lonely, and then I get scared and anxious. On those days, if I am up to it, I force myself out of the house to shop or visit, if I am not, I cuddle up with a good movie, and let myself grieve a little.
4.You are new to this. Of course you are still thinking "cancer" all the time. As time goes by and you realize life goes on, as you find things to fill your days, you will, believe it or not, not think about it all the time. There will be days when it is not your first thought in the morning or last at night.
5. I just learned this. And it was big for me. I was exhausted after the Summit. I am not used to such long days, with so much activity and no nap. I was exhausted when I got home and slept for days. Some of the people I met at the Summit sounded so full of energy on Facebook and I was feeling so badly that I wasn't handling things as well. But, someone said the same thing to me, they wondered how I was so full of energy because they were exhausted! I think it is easy to misinterpret people's feelings, emotions and energy levels when you only speak to them with the written word. We are all struggling in our own way and no one has all the answers. Everyone has good days and bad, full days and , as I call them, "slug days". The important thing, I think, is that we have days.
I am so sorry we never connected at the Summit, next year!!!
Peace, Janet
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I am wih Alan, thank you Ann. I couldn't bring myself to do it even though I too knew it was what Judy would want. Thank you. AND thank you Beetlemike, for the short and perfect "air" on Saturday.
This is hard, moving on after such a loss. Judy was so important and so loved by so many. My heart is broken and a bit empty.
ok, so today, well, it is 1:30 and I am still in my pajamas. I am still in recovery mode from the Hope Summit. I had so much fun, but I pushed my self and am not used to so much activity especially without naps and early bed times! I do have to get dressed soon as tonight is support group. I know everyone there is going to want to hear about the summit, and I hope to convince them to come to it next year!
I spent the weekend getting the garden prepared, I am in charge of the flowers, my husband the vegetables. As I mentioned before, we lost over half of our perrenials to the flooding from the hurricane in September. It was so sad, but on the positive side, starting fresh little by little will be a fun project. (although expensive!)
I think I will purchase my first orchid today in Judy's memory.
Peace
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Welcome back!! I am so glad to hear you are doing well, And with such a positive spirit, it gives me and many others lots of hope!
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well, I see the spammers are out in force. I hope karma finds them!
I am still in "Hope Summit Recovery"! I had an amazing time, but pushed myself to do everything, so this is going to be a "slug week" for me! I still have the farm, actually twice as much as usual because of field trips, but besides that I am allowing myself to just lie about on the couch with a book, my iPad, some crochet and a hot cup of coffee! no cleaning, even though it desperately needs to be done, and, in fact, I haven't even unpacked yet! Being a slug is made easier by the fact that it is pouring rain today, not even the dog wants to be out there!
So no news here. hard to have exciting news from the couch! I am praying for our Judy in KW. I hope she is peaceful.
how are the rest of you doing this fine day for a duck?? is it sunny and warm in your neck of the woods?!
Peace
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Good Afternoon Everyone!!
I slept in late today, the Hope Summit did me in!!
What an amazing event!! I am sorry I did not post during it, but there was, incredibly, limited wi fi access at the hotel (ie, only in the bar and lobby) and we were kept busy from sun up til sun down! I took some pictures which I will try to figure out how to post here and on FB later today! I have tried to explain to others what was so special about the weekend, and it is difficult to put into words. Yes, the speakers were amazing, we learned some things, we had great food, lots of "pints" (as Eric would say!) and were awesome bowlers (not!) But REALLY what made it so special was being together with so many people who just "got it". People who have been through the ringer and made it out and still have that great gift of HOPE. I have not done so much, smiled so much, laughed so much in a long long time.
Diane, I hope we meet there next year! It is my next goal to strive for! Curly Sue, I am so sorry we did not get to chat at the Summit. On the ride home I was regretting all the people I did not get to talk to and spend time with, I tried to get to at least say hello to everyone, but you know how filled the days were and I am sorry we did not connect. Next year!!!!! In the mean time I am so glad you came to "the Air" I hope you visit often!!
Meeting Eric, Bud, Sarah, Alan, Jaime, Cindy, Dawn, Katie, people I have been chatting with here for years was such a gift.
Hugs to everyone, and Diane, I think green thumb or not, plants do better when you plant them in the basket yourself, The nursery, in order to make them look pretty, overcrowds them, and then they become root bound before too long.
Sending hugs and prayers to Judy in KW. You were in my thoughts all weekend Judy, I tried to send Hope Summit good vibes your way!
peace!
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good morning everyone!
I am so glad you got to D.C. safely Eric! I quickly checked my town's calendar to make sure it wasn't our school being boisterous at breakfast, as our 11th graders go to D.C. for a week each year, but it isn't us! I hope you, actually, I KNOW you will find something fun to do today.
We are headed out first thing in the morning. We hope to get to the hotel early enough to grab some dinner before I leave my husband to meet everyone at the reception. We will be driving up in my little yellow beetle so you cant miss me!
I am also so incredibly sad that Judy in KW won't be there. Judy, Stephanie and I had been talking about this for a year. It never even crossed my mind that Judy wouldn't be there. It was already arranged that I was picking her up at the RV park and driving her in. I usually take all this cancer stuff with a positive attitude, but his has hit me hard. are with you Prayers arer with you sweet Judy in KW, prayers for strength and peace.
Judy in MI, I hope you a feeling even just a bit better today and I am so glad your treatment is almost done! I have to say I am a bit jealous of the cleaning woman!
Tuesday I went with my sister to tour Lizzie Borden's House. If any you do not know who Lizzie was, she was accused of killing her father and stepmother with a hatchet back in the 1890's. She was acquitted and the murder was never solved. For some odd reason my mother was totally absorbed by her story, and so, as a consequence are my sisters and I. Lizzie's house is now a Bed and Breakfast and next to the Beetle, the best gift my husband ever gave me was a stay there, in Lizzie's room! Anyway, seeing her home was on my sisters bucket list so we went! Ok, now you all think I am crazy, seriously, not really crazy, just very interested in this particular unsolved murder!
Today is rainy and grey. The perfect kind of day to pack for a trip. I got a dog sitter, yesterday! Talk about waiting to the last minute! So, just pack, sweep, and fold Sunday's bulletins at church.
What is on your agenda today??
Peace
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That is an amazing, story. It made me so angry reading it thinking of all that you went through just to get a diagnosis! Doctors HAVE to start thinking about lung cancer as a possibility first, rather than as a last option. You sound like an amazing, strong woman, I can't wait to meet you at the Hope Summit!
Peace - Janet
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Happy Monday everyone.
I am writing from the lovely infusion chair! I just had my port accessed, but by the time my blood work is checked and the Avastin and Zometa are mixed up, I will be here for several more hours. That is fine, since I have Lung Cancer Support Group four floors down at 5:30.
I did not make it on the forums yesterday, after church we went out to see that animated 3-D movie, Pirates - A Band of Misfits with some friends. It was fun, silly and a mindless happy way to spend the afternoon. Afterwards we went back to their house for a barbecue. A nice day.
Diane, I thought of you while I ate my lobster roll! In fact, I took a picuture of it for you! I can't post pictures from my iPad, but if I get home early enough I will post it later! Now there are different kinds of lobster rolls, hot, cold, with mayo, or just with melted butter. The way I love them is hot, with just lobster and melted butter on a buttered toasted roll. YUM! There is a place about a mile from our home that consistently wins for CT's Best Lobster roll. It is one of my many weaknesses!
Tonight, on my way home from group, I will stop for my other weakness. MacDonalds!
I hope you are all having a wonderful day, the sun is shining here, hope it is for you also!
Peace
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Wow. You really are going through a double whammy right now. Having to deal with this diagnosis is hard enough, but from what I have been told shingles are terribly painful. I am so sorry you have to deal with both at once. Please keep us posted about the surgery, The fact that you are eligible for it is a good thing!
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I made it to the air,a little late, but it is still Saturday so it counts. It is not like I was doing anything important, I slept in, went to the dump and then attempted some yard work. it is pretty chilly here today and very windy, so I scrapped the garden and came in to finish changing the clothes over for the season. My garden is very depressing this year, I have a perrenial garden surrounding a flagstone patio. I used to have several gardens, but downsized to just this one 2 years ago because I no longer had the energy to keep them up. ( my husband does have a vegetable garden). Anyway, last September we had a hurricane which flooded my garden with salt water, it looks like more than half my perrenials didn't make it, as well as two trees. Oh, we'll, looks like I will be usi g the credit card at the Garden store!
I totally get the dog hair dilemma. I have a very very sheddy Golden Retriever, I have to sweep at least twice a day. If he wasn't so cute and such a good caregiver I would scream!!
Diane, I am so glad you a going to use the wheelchair for graduation. it would be a shame to be too tired to enjoy the day. You should inquire with the school about special parking and seating. I know at my sons graduation all you had to do was ask and they had a spot blocked off for you, you didnt need a handicapped sticker, they just trusted you. It is worth a try!
I don't even know what to say about Judy in KW not making it to the Summit. She and I have been planning on meeting there for well over a year now. (along with Stephanie). I have lost all my excitement for going now. I hate cancer.
Prayers are always with Judy, For strength and peace.
I see that lots of people check in on the air each day. Please consider joining in! Just tell us about your day, we would love to get to know you, lasting friendships are made here. I will be blunt, we have cancer, so sometimes these friendships end in sadness. But, they are friendships we will always cherish and that get us through the toughest times.
We are headed out now for lobster rolls for dinner. My all time favorite. Then we will sit down to watch the Sox play!
Peace
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Hi friends!
First if all a big WHOO HOO to Diane for rocking your scans!! I am so happy for you, now you can totally enjoy the summer!!
Waiting, impatiently I admit, for news about Judy in KW and wondering and worrying about Judy in MI too.
So, my day just started! If you read Tuesdays air, I said I was going to rest up for the summit. Then yesterday's air I said I already blew that and over did it. Well, today I slept until 12:45!!! Now, a huge part of that is that I have been having some bad pain in my shoulder, (no idea what is going on with that, kind of don't want to know) so in order to get some sleep I took two pain pills at around 1 a.m. Those pills had me totally knocked out until my husband came home for lunch and ran up to check on why I wasn't answering him calling for me! Now it is 2:00 and I am sitting here in my pajamas feeling like I have a terrible hangover! Plus my shoulder feels worse than ever! I guess today I will be taking it easy! Maybe play a little Draw Something, or Words with Friends, maybe work on that sweater I am crocheting (luckily it is my left shoulder in pain and I am right handed! The birthday is tomorrow, so it won't be done on time!!) I have a meeting at 7 so I guess I have to get dressed at some point!!!
Oh, hugs to Katie, hoping there is good news on
Zoe soon!!
I hope you all have good days!!
Peace
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Still Stable
in HOPE
That is GREAT news!!!
WHOO HOO!!!!!
I am so happy for you!!
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Good afternoon! I ran around doing some shopping this afternoon and I can already tell that I am going to be a mess tomorrow because of it! Didn't I just say yesterday that I was going to take it easy until the Summit!?
Diane , our lives sound similar! I can't seem to cook any more. I get distracted, Or forget ingredients, I burn things. I also can't plan any more. I used to be an amazing multitasker and on top of doing several things at once, I could also plan whole holidays, parties etc in my head, including guests lists, menus, shopping lists etc. Now it was like the day before Easter and I had no idea what we would be eating, what the baskets would have in them and the house still had to been cleaned! I totally blame it on cancer meds it is better than blaming it on getting old! (I also spend way too much time vacuuming up dog hair!)
Eric I am glad you are having so much fun with the bowling!!
Mike, I am one of the few people I think, that thinks pigeons are beautiful. I feed them in the park and talk to them. We did have a problem last year though. We have a kind of reclusive neighbor who raised homing pigeons. He would let them out every morning and they would sit on the telephone wire and wait to go back in! Very cute! i enjoyed watching them. Only problem was that it turns out that not only was the neighbor's house and yard very messy, but he was over feeding the pigeons AND feeding the squirrels. So, with all the extra food about,before long the whole neighborhood became invested with rats. Sadly, the pigeons were taken away by the health department, the rats are still an issue!!
I totally understand what you say about your birds giving you Joy and peace. I believe that animals are the best medicine. It is always my advice in support group when someone is really depressed - get a pet!
Peace everyone
Prayers to our Judy's!
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Hey everyone!
Good afternoon! The rain has stopped here in CT, we only got two day's worth, but it soaked the ground well. Today is a blustery, chilly day. All the blossoms have blown off my cherry tree leaving me a pink patio and lawn!
I just got back from the farm. It is baby time there! The baby miniature horse was born Saturday night. She immediately got up and started hopping around, so she has been named Hopscotch. She is big for a baby mini, so they think her father must have been a pony(mom was a rescue so we don't know a lot about her past). She is the cutest little thing! I put pictures on Facebook if anyone wants to check them out! I am Janet Brown if you want to "friend" me. We also have baby chicks and baby ducklings! The baby ducklings are especially adorable ( ducks being my favorite animal). It is such a wonderful thing, spring, new life!
I am trying to lay low this week, saving my energy for the Hope Summit. So, this week and next week I am going to stay close to home and do as little housework as possible!
That is the plan at least!!
Judy in KW, I am praying for you, Judy in MI, I hope you a feeling well!
I hope everyone is enjoying today!!
Peace
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Good morning! it is chilly, grey and drizzly today. Seems like the perfect day to clean the house, but the pregnant miniature horse at the farm had her baby last night, so housework will wait while I go cuddle a baby horse!!
Sounds like much more fun, as does Ice cream over salad!!
Without my husband home I went to bed early, with a snack, my iPad and a"chick flick" on the tv. Stayed up til after two playing Draw Something and reading. it was wonderful!! of course, that meant I slept through church, but I will say my prayers at the farm today.
yesterday I wore a t shirt and had all the windows open, today is sweatshirt weather and a fire in the fireplace weather. (but we can't do that because a momma racoon has a nest full of babies in there!) I am gladI didn't put away the winter clothes yet!!
I hope everyone has a blessed day. prayers are with you all!
Peace
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Lily, I missed your post. I totally understand the emotions of going through pictures. I have been attempting to put all of ours in albums with notes attached since I was diagnosed 5 1/2 years ago, but I find it so emotional I can only do it in little spurts at a time!!
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Good afternoon!
Judy In KW if you are reading this - we are all praying for you and sending our happiest thoughts!!
Judy in MI. I am so happy for you that you have this visit to look forward to! It is so nice that your stepdaughter has stayed close to you, that says a lot about you as a person. I hope you eat copious amounts of icecream and have long long gab sessions! As for naps, I couldn't get through life without them. I have told my family, I have about 2 good hours in me at a time. Then I need to at least rest, if not nap. If I try to do it all, I completely fall apart for days, so napping makes everyday more enjoyable.
I am waiting for a visit from my sister and niece. They are just stopping by for a little while, my sister lives about 40 minutes away, but my niece lives in Philly, so they are stopping by while she is visiting so I can give her a hug! Then the rest of the day and tomorrow are all mine, as my husband won't be home until dinner time tomorrow night. I think I will clean and garden and crochet and watch some chick flicks! Which reminds me, better go to the store and get some red wine!
I hope you're all having wonderful days
Peace
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Good morning friends!! I am up earlier than usual, I think I am finally getting ahead of these allergies! Still so stuffy but no headache when I woke up!!
It is a beautiful day here , again. It is supposed to be in the low to mid 70s.We are expecting rain Sunday through Wednesday. It has been a long time. I am not complaining!!!
Dawn, I totally understand about the baby blanket. I am crocheting a sweater for my favorite soon to be 5 year old. His birthday is a week from today and I haven't even finished the body, much less the sleeves and hood - I always start out my projects really excited, and then put it off and off and end up finishing them in the wee hours the night before I am supposed to give them to the recipient!
I will have a day somewhat like yours, lots of laundry to do today. I actually enjoy doing the laundry when the sun is shining and the air is a little crisp. Maybe I will hang dry today. I am also taking a good friend out to lunch and for a spin in the bug.
My husband leaves this afternoon for the weekend. He is taking his confirmation class on a retreat to the Lutheran camp in northern NH. I am very excited to have the house all to myself. I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but he works about 2 miles from home, so he is always here and a couple of days with the house all to myself is like a mini vacation!
Enjoy your day everyone. have fun, be happy
Peace!
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What wonderful news to start your summer with!!!!! I think there should be a big party at your house on July 1st!!
I am so happy for you!!
Peace
Janet
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This is awesome news!!! Thank you God!! And hugs to you and Kasey!!
Peace
janet
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We have heard from Judy in KW!!!! She really needs our positive energy, thoughts and prayers, but she, in true Judy in KW fashion, took the time to let us know how she was. I love that lady!!
I am smiling over time today - just so happy to hear from her and to know that she was having a good day - and I wanted to be sure there was an air today, for Judy in KW, in case she gets computer time again.
I woke up to a gray drizzly day and thought of all the cleaning that I could get done, but then the sun came out and the sky turned blue as if God was saying, ENJOY!
So for my air today, I will just breathe. I will drive my little bug down to the shore and breathe in the salty air and remember all the very good things in life. And I will thank God that we heard from Judy in KW
Peace
Peace
Reality checks can be tough
in LC SURVIVORS
Posted
Sue,
The thing with this disease is that just when you think things are going along great, you get a reminder that life will never quite be the same. Friends and family just might not understand, especially when we look and feel well on the outside. But little things, like not taking a yoga class, or for me, not being able to enjoy a bowl of icecream anymore (Tarceva stomach) are just reminders of how our life has changed, of just what cancer has taken from us. The thing we have to do is to keep searching for new things that can replace those that we have lost, and to remember that it is perfectly ok to just sit back and enjoy life, we dont HAVE to be super women (or men) anymore. I have learned to enjoy the fact that I can ask my husband to do the heavy lifting without feeling bad about it! My kids are all coming home for the weekend, of course I want things to be perfect, but I know they wont be, I get tired, I cant seem to multitask anymore, but that is ok, we will have fun anyway. AND when things arent perfect, I can just play the cancer card! (The cancer card has become quite a joke in my family, and laughing at the beast makes it seem not quite so scary!)
As for the classes. I think it makes sense to check with your doctor first. I had mets in my spine also and had to get the go ahead from the doctor to do "gentle yoga" and then I discussed my limitations with the instructor before class so she knew not to expect me to do the moves perfectly. If the doctor says no, ask what you CAN do if excersize is what you enjoy. A lot of people in my support group do aqua aerobics, I think that is alot easier on the bones.
I am wondering if you are getting Zometa infusions (Calcium) to strengthen your bones?
I gently remind you, that you are new to this, so being sad and frustrated is completely ok and totally understandable, you will find your new happiness and you might even be surprised at how happy you can be.
peace
Janet