Janet B

Petunia,
you have gotten some very good advice already, I just wanted to welcome you and tell you how glad I am that you just started typing! Being here will be such a huge help, for answers, for support, and just to chat with others who understand what you are going through.
I can't really answer any of your questions concerning chemo, I have not had traditional chemo, yet. Nor can I help with the wig question, when I lost my hair from side effects of Tarceva (a chemo pill). I chose to just wear hats or a scarf. I do know that my hospital has a "boutique" that sells hats, scarfs and wigs, as well as has classes on how to wear them and take care of your skin and makeup. You should check out if there is something like that in your mom's hospital.
As for second opinions. If your mom is up for it I say - do it! There could be two outcomes, the second opinion can totally agree with the first doctor on a treatment plan or they can disagree. If they agree, you have peace of mind. If they disagree you will have to either do your own research to decide who you want to go with or go for even a third opinion. From my experience, (which is somewhat different than your moms because I have nsclc) my first Dr. Was going to give me the standard treatment plan and gave me little hope of survival. My second (and third) opinion tested me for genetic mutations which put me on the regimen I am on now and I have been on for 5 years. Of course, also very important, I believe, your mom has to like the Dr, and trust him/her. That makes a big difference.
Peace