Shannon,
I have been reading this board for several months and your post today made me take action and answer. I am crying as I read your post because I feel like I'm reading my own life.
My husband of 29 years was my best friend. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor and had craniotomy on 4/22. During his pre-adm testing they found a 10cm lung cancer, laterally located so it wasn't affecting his airways. He had the brain tumor removed and came thru surgery with flying colors. His vision was affected pre-surgery and that was permanent. He was a little confused but basically doing well. The brain tumor was large and the surgeon said very aggressive. He started whole brain radiation with the plan to do chemo for lung tumor after or toward the end of the brain radiation. Toward the end of May he was experiencing so much pain in the back and side, the oncologist had him on morphine and percosets for the breakthrough pain along with steroids. He became worse and worse pain and mentally and on 6/19 he was admitted to the hospital. Tests then showed that from April, the cancer had spread to his pancreas, liver, adrenal glands and a bone metastises on the pelvic bone. His blood sugar was in the 400's and he was also put on insulin. The oncologist gave him a first chemo in the hospital, the next day he needed a blood transfusion and between the medicine and his disease he was sleeping or very confused most of the time. He became very disoriented, he had pnemonia in the same lung as the cancer, his heart rate was very high, he couldn't walk, and finally was on full oxygen. He passed away on 6/28.
I know this is long but...... I had known that my company was trying to sell of our division for the past year but right after my husband's craniotomy, I found out we were going to be closed down. My last day of work was 6/19, the same day my husband went into the hospital. I too do not have a job and can't even make myself look for one. I know I need to but like you said, I can't even make a basic decision. Everythng is a big project to me. My daughter is moving out of state next week, her husband is in the military. I handled things much better while everything was happening. Now I am a mess. I keep looking for answers but there aren't any of them.
I felt so connected when I read your post. I feel for you as I truly know what you are feeling and how you are suffering. My husband was 59. He too was my biggest cheerleader, he would have had me applying for jobs and being confident. I don't have any confidence right now and the thought of a job interview is beyond my grasp. I am flying with my daughter and grandchildren and spending a week with them at their new home. I told my other daughter and her family they could move in with me as I am so afraid of having to be alone but not right away. When I come back I think I need time to get my head on straight if that is possible.
I'm rambling, sorry. Please know I am thinking of you!
