J.C.
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Posts posted by J.C.
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Happy Clover is home,
Looks like a Basenji to me, is it ??????????
used to breed them in the seventies.
So hard to see an aninal sick ans being unable to explain to them why the pain.
Have a GOOD YEAR"
J.C.
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Rick and Kathi,
I bet a lot of lurkers are like me not very good on a computer
and have trouble getting in, (I did many times).
Younger generation are better than the older one in our country.
So many more would be in but they do not have the knowledge or
the language to communicate. Not many house have a computer unless
they have children.
Thre are a few good forums for Breast Cancer in Canada but all in
English, those in French are deserted, for lung cancer did not find anything
like this one.
Happy New Year.
J.C.
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Pam,
I may say I do know how you feel, I lost all my family some
years ago, all to different sickness and now I lost my husband
to LC, 2 1/2 months ago, and the If..If..If.. are there all the time,
can't chase them away, they stick around.
I am alone, no family, no friend near, not even a job I could
put my mind to and try to forget.
The only people I see in a day are clerks in stores or waitresses
in restaurant, I am days without speaking to a single person,
it is more than lonely.
My solution is to talk to myself and to Mike as he would be still here
and make him still a part of my life, CRAZY, sure and proud of it,
it is my pain, my life and I will do it my way.
And I also have cancer so, I may not have to worry too much
about the future, my past was with Mike.
When people ask me ''How are you doing ?''
I always answer ''Marvelous and you ?''
So end of the conversation, they do not know how I feel and could
not understand so better cut it short.
I have a silver wee urn on a chain, with some ashes from Mike
around my neck and the big urn on a table, so in my crazy way
he is still here with me, to stay.
We each have our way to deal with the loss of a love one, we
have to find a level of pain we can live with.
Even if that pain will never go away, we have to go on and
cherish all the memories we have.
I only have myself to answer to, you have your son, that is very
hard but I am sure you will find words to soothe his pain and keep
the memories of your father alive for him.
Love to you and your son.
J.C.
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Rick,
Where I am living, Canada, there is all those posters for
Breast Cancer and FREE mammo for women from 49 to 69 years
old. (I was too old) so it did not worked for me, so was refused
and I had cancer.....went to court in November, Hope to win.
But why not have the same thing done for Lung cancer, big posters paid
by the Health Dept. that include an X-ray and more for everybody at
their (OBLIGED) annual check up.
I remenber when I was younger, that everybody was scare of TB and we
were obliged to have an X-ray each year, so why not the same for Lung
cancer.
If the government can open his eyes, people that are healthy works and
pay taxes, those that are sick, cost money......
They have to be shaken in seeing that they put their money in the wrong
basket.
Wants to help, but how.
My husband was refused so many times an X-ray that it came to be a joke
till he got lung cancer and now he is dead...
I am fighting on this side of the border but find that people cringe away
when you are mentionning LUNG cancer, but are all ears when it is any
other kind of cancer.
There is a stigma on Lung cancer that should not exist, we all know that
but we are yelling in deaf ears.
Let me know if I can help.
J.C.
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Deb,
The poem is perfect, it is comfort for days ahead.
Hugs
J.C.
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A wise person once said
''That someone to love,
something to do,
and something to hope for
is the essence of a happy life''
You have it all at the moment, but day by day only, make the maximum
of each day, that is the important part for both of you.
Best wishes.
J.C.
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Dean,
You mat be sure you helped me after the lost of my husband,
you helped a lot of people.
What you call your rambling I call my IF..IF..IF..
about treatments my husband had, those he did not have, about what I did or did not do, what more I could have done for him and it never stops and I think it never will.
All he wanted was a little more time and he did not have it, now I find
myself with all the time I do not want and never wanted, so where do
we find a peace ?.
So you are not alone in the rambling, we all do from time to time.
Keep well as long as you can, no hurry.
Thank you for helping.
J.C.
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Shirley,
I know how you feel, I am going through it myself, near where I live
there are a lot of places for old people (I'm nearly there, but not yet)
and the shopping mall is where you see them, very often, one is in a wheelchair and the spouse is right there, and I always ask, why not me,
at the end Mike was in a wheelchair, that I proudly pushed everywhere,now he is gone and I am jaleous of everybody that is older than my husband and still alive even if they can't walk or talk.
I don't fight it, it may go away or stay but it is there.
Hope for us that we get adjusted to be one instead of a couple.
J.C.
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So true what everybody say,
It is so hard to live after losing a life companion, a good husband,
someone that always understood you and loved you.
You have to go on alone and live in a world where people are saying
*we know what you go through*.
They do not, they have nor been there.
We lived for days for months, hoping and trying to enjoy
each good day and when the bad days were there to hope again
for a better one soon, only to lose it all in the end.
To keep going alone after is so hard, you try to put on a good enough face
but your heart is in shamble and so is your life.
Your love is there, but the person is gone and you are on your own.
At least this is a place where you know you are not alone, you are with
caring strangers that understand better than your friends what your life is like
without the one you love.
Thank you to be there.
J.C.
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Sorry about your mother,
at this time of the year it is so sad for you and your children,
She is in a better place where there is no pain and is keeping
an eye on all of you.
Your explaination to your children will stay with them and with us.
J.C.
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May you always have an angel by your side,
Watching out for you in all the things you do,
Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days,
Finding ways for your wishes and dreams to take you to beautiful places,
Giving you hope that is as certain as the sun,
Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide.
May you always have love and comfort and courage
and may you always have an angel by your side.
May you always have an angel by your side,
Someone there to catch you if you fall,
Encouraging your dreams,
Inspiring your happiness,
Holding your hand and helping you through it all.
In all our days, our lives are always changing,
Tears come along as well as smiles.
Along the roads you travel may the miles be a
thousand times more lovely than lonely,
May they give you gifts that never, ever end:
someone wonderful to love and a dear friend
in whom you can confide.
May you have rainbows after every storm
May you have hopes to keep you warm,
And may you always have an angel by your side
Douglas Pagels
J.C.
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May this time of the year bring peace to you and those around you.
Hopefully a brighter and healthier New Year may be next.
J.C.
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Norme,
Prayers for both of you for strength and peace.
J.C.
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You are so right Shirly,
I had to be hospitalized (only 1 day) for extreme low blood pressure
and usually I have high blood pressure, now the doctors have trouble
controlling it.
Every body should take care, it is the only way we can help those
we love.
J.C.
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Fay,
You state very well that words can hurt and for a long time,
but looks and facial or body expression are sometimes as bad.
As caregiver we have to always have a smile and a welcome in our voice.
As a cancer sufferer, I remember very well that the words really hurt
but any other expression is as bad.
I have been on both side and as I had cancer first, it did help me to
be a caregiver later.
There is hardly a limit to what is asked from a caregiver and sometime
there is no reward except knowing deep down, that we did all we could.
Good luck
J.C.
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On thanksgiving Day (Canada) October 13, my husband left me for the first time in 43 years, while he was sleeping peacefully.
I will always keep all the souvenirs in my mind, specially those
of the 12th of October when he was fully conscious and even if he could not speak anymore, we had the full day to listen to music while I spoke to him of all the good times we had together, the laughters, the tears, and of
what he meant to me. Just seeing his smile was beautiful.
The cremation was this morning, I was alone with him as we were for so
many years, 43 all together.
The pain is gone for him.
Thank to all of those that answered my 1st post.
I will keep in touch with the forum, because even if I did not write, I was
reading the posts nearly every day and learning and I will keep learning
and if possible I will try to help.
Thank you for him.
J.C.
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I have been reading some posts and now it is time for me to write.
My husband of 43 years, has NSCLC stage IIIA, non operable since
May 2002, now his battle is reaching the end.
We are alone without family and the friends we have are far away.
At this point there is not much I can say, except that when I read about
all the people with cancer I get sad, mad and powerless. I have breast cancer myself since 1999, so this kind of fight is not new to me, but now
I feel so lost when I see him hurt so much and there is nothing that can
be done for him.
I think that is all I can write tonight, except that I still have hope for
better days for a lot of people with lung cancer.
J.C.
asking for prayers this week
in HOPE
Posted
count me in,
At my age getting nearer God, so prayers must be heard.
J.C.