kimd
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Posts posted by kimd
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I usually post positive and hopefully inspirational things, but am having a tough week missing my dad. My older son Drew started high school today and it hurts me that my dad can't see how wonderful he's doing. I am so proud that he was invited to the Presidential Inauguration in January (even though he probably won't get to go) and my dad would have been so proud. My youngest, Alex, starts 2nd grade next week and my dad only shared so little time of his life. Anyone have any suggestions for helping the younger ones remember their grandpas? I can tell stories and keep pics, but I feel my children were somewhat cheated because my dad couldn't see them become wonderful adulst. My youngest wants to be a scientist and keeps me busy cleaning up concoctions he mixes together but I keep thinking he might find a cure for cancer someday. Just having a tough time and knew you guys could inspire me or help me get through this step of the grieving process. Seems like reality is hitting more each day, not getting easier. I keep telling myself that we were blessed because my dad only had to deal with this disease less than 5 months and he got all the wishes he wanted -- no weight loss, no mental loss, and was able to enjoy the time he had left and didn't end up in a nursing home. Just venting -- might be better tomorrow!
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Paige:
I know this time is difficult for you, but it's also a very special time with your Mom. It was so hard losing my dad, but I was so glad I was with him during his final moments. We were able to keep communicating until about a day or so before he died, but we kept him peaceful. Even though he couldln't speak to us, we knew he was with us and being taken care of by many angels.
May you hold the special memories of your mom in your heart and may God give you and your family strength and peacefulness to make it through the tough days ahead. It means so much to your Mom for you to be there. You can help her to her next journey . . .
God Bless!
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Tess:
What a moving poem and a wonderful tribute to Rob. I pray that God gives you the strength to make it through to tough times ahead. Most of all I pray that you find the inner peace that I did when I lost my loved one. It's so tough to let go, but we have to believe they're in a much better place (pain-free). Your poem and tribute brought back wonderful memories of my dad. God Bless you!
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Don:
From reading your posts, you did everything you could for your Mom. When I found out my dad was dying, I kept playing this scene in my mind that he would be holding my hand and I would be telling him that I loved him when he died. It didn't happen like that. He wasn't able to die at home, instead at the hospital. He didn't speak to us or acknowledge us for a day and a half, but I knew Dad was with us in spirit.
There are things we cannot change, but I truly believe that we can't go back and keep replaying what we could have done. We all do what we can -- we are there for our relatives. I told my dad I loved him every time I saw him and held his hand when he knew I was there. I was with him on good days and bad days and researched until some nights I couldn't see or stay awake anymore, but there was nothing I could do, but love him and support him.
Your mom knew you loved her and I'm sure was thankful she had you to take care of her. I have two young sons and I hope if I'm ever ill someday, that they will take as good care of me as you did your Mom. May God give you comfort during this difficult time as he did me when I lost my father.
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To Terry's family:
May the inner peace God is granting you now, help you through the days ahead. You have a strong, supportive family and you will all need each other now. I couldn't believe it when I read about Tbone. I still visit sometimes to see how my friends are doing. I, like others, pray and hope for miracles every day for this terrible disease.
In memory of Tbone (my favorite Irish blessing):
May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
May the rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again
May God hold you in the palm of His Hand
Your family will be reunited again someday -- Tbone's just making sure things will be in order. God Bless your family during this difficult time.
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Angel:
Just read your post and I can truly relate. I, like you, think of my dad when alone in the car and hear a song that reminds me of him. I think of him other times, too but it seems like music makes the emotions run stronger -- maybe because of my dad's love of music. I hope you can also laugh and remember the special things your dad did for you and the times he did silly things and made you laugh. I keep a picture of my dad in my purse with me all the time and have him on my fridge to smile at me each day. My dad has been gone four months now and I don't think I'll ever miss him any less. If you're like me, you won't be on the board daily like you used to, but it helps me to come here and give others hope and comfort. I call my mom daily and you are truly helping your mom by doing the same. God Bless you and your family!
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Renee:
Prayers headed to you and Scott. Hope his pain is being kept under control -- broken ribs are no fun. Hope you hear encouraging news from the doctors. I just hate this disease -- it controls what it wants to do and when. May God give you both strength to endure each battle and especially ease the pain. I live across the river from you, but work in LVL so just letting you know this Hoosier is praying hard for you guys. God Bless!
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Shellie:
Prayers and hugs to you and your sister. With your help, she can get through this. I know you have been through so much and have to be so drained, but try to somehow find the strength to help your sister (I know you can). I have a sister who I am very close to and we handled my dad's illness and death together. It made us even closer and realize how lucky we are to be sisters no matter how much time we may have together. God challenges us in many ways and sometimes we have to wonder what His "plan" is, but have to believe that he will support us and help us through the difficult times. Hang in there and remember we all care!
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Tammy:
So sorry to hear about the loss of your dear mom. May God give you and your family strength and comfort to make it through this difficult time. I understand your feeling of "numbness" and not seeming real. Even though we know they are free of pain and in a better place, it's difficult for those of us left behind. I'm sure your Mom was so much more at peace having you with her during her final hours. God Bless!
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Deb -
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and memories with us! I really needed it since I have been missing my dad so much the past few weeks. It was bittersweet for Father's Day -- his headstone came in the day before. You made me remember more of the good things than bad! Sometimes it's so hard to remember all the good things when you see them so ill and in pain. Some of your memories did make me laugh and think of funny memories I had as well. I'm sure your dad is so proud of you and the wonderful tribute for his bday! Keep sharing your stories -- it helps us all heal a little at a time. I keep wondering when the pain "gets better"? People say that time heals, but I'm still numb and the loss doesn't seem real sometimes.
(I'm trying to picture you with the shaved head!!
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Amy:
Welcome to our "family"! When I ready your post, it reminded me of how I had to be the "listener/adviser" for my dad. I always have to have answers and I formed a wonderful relationship w/my dad's onc. He knew whenever he told me news, that I would have many questions and would check with my LCSC buddies to see if he was heading us in the right direction. These folks helped support me through every step of the way and helped with so many questions I had. Reading others experiences helped me learn so much. You sound like you are the strong one like me (I also have two siblings -- I'm the middle child) and you will be so much help to your mom. May God help you and your family through this battle.
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Shellie:
I am crying with you as I read your post. Brings back so many memories of losing my dad in February. A co-worker of mine lost his mother-in-law to lung cancer on the same day as your dad. No matter how hard we try, we can never prepare ourselves. I know that's where God helped me and my family and He will help you get through this. Please hang on to your faith right now and we'll still be here for you. I don't visit the board as often now that my dad is gone, but I still feel part of the family and reading others' experiences help me get through. I also helped my co-worker with his MIL and how to cope near the end. They are all at peace now and in a far better place than we are. I carry my Dad's funeral home card w/picture in my purse and when I miss him, I take it out and read the back "Old Irish Blessing" and it gives me comfort -- May God hold you in the palm of his hand now and help you through this very difficult time. Your parents would want you to honor them by continuing to live life to its fullest.
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Lynne:
May God give you, Bethany and your entire family comfort during your loss. Dean is in a better place with no suffering and may you find peace in the wonderful memories you will always cherish. Taking one day at a time seems to help me and some are better than others. Our lives are changed forever when we lose our love ones, but we go on as they would want us to. I miss my dad terribly, but find that I can instill his strength, values and morals in my sons. I'm sure Bethany was inspired during her dad's illness and saw how much courage he had. God Bless!
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My Beloved
in GRIEF
Peg:
I pray that God is giving you comfort each day and inner peace to help you cope. Sorry I haven't been on the board and just read this. My dad's birthday was 4/22 (would've been 70) and I just have been isolating myself. May you find comfort in the fact that reading your posts helped me get through tough times with my dad. I felt close to you guys since you're fellow Hoosiers! May God Bless you and your family and remember he wonderful times you had!
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Berisa:
I haven't been on the board for awhile and was so saddened to read about your dad's passing. May God give you the comfort you need to make it through the difficult days ahead. I, like you, felt such incredible inner peace when my dad passed away. There will be tougher days ahead, but remember your dad is in a better place. I miss my dad every day and remember the good memories and what a role model he was for so many. When you become sad -- it's okay to mourn, but then try to remember something your dad did to make you laugh! God Bless you!
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Jamie:
Welcome and so sorry to hear about your Mom's diagnosis. It's not going to be an easy battle, but it's one that you both have to fight with everything you have. When my dad was dxd, the shock was so overwhelming. After it sunk in (the best it can), I was in battle mode and so was the rest of my family (including my dad). I think of his battle as a roller coaster ride -- there will be good days and bad days. Just take each one at a time. May you and your family find strength in the days ahead and ask lots of questions! This board is a great source through every step of the battle! Take care!
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Shellie:
Posting a little late, but hope you and your dad are doing somewhat better. Probably the Easter season also brought back memories of your mom. Please stay strong for both you and your dad. I can't imagine what you're going through and try to take one day at a time. Easter was tough for me this year. People were bragging about what they gave up for Lent and I told everyone I gave up my dad and I thought that was enough. I didn't mean to be bitter, but his services were on Ash Wednesday and the day after. I lost my dad at the beginning of Lent this year and my father-in-law on Good Friday five years ago -- both to cancer. May God give you strength and comfort during this difficult time. Hang in there!
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Andrea:
I haven't been on the board for awhile and was so saddened to learn of your mom's passing. May God give you and your family the strength you need to make it through this difficult time. When my father passed away on 2/23/04, God gave me and my family such incredible inner peace to make it through the funeral. Things are a little more difficult to handle right now, but I still know he's in a better place. Think about the wonderful times you had with your mom and the funny things. That's what helps get me through each day! God bless!
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Deanna:
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom. May God give you and your family confort during this difficult time. You were a wonderful daughter to be with her when she passed. I, too, was with my dad and he was ready to go as well. It's tough to see them go, but we know they're in a better place. Can't believe my dad's been gone almost a month. It still feels like a dream and that he's just gone for "awhile". I truly believe the incredible inner peace I have is God's way of helping us. I hope you can find the same peace. Sounds like you were a great support to your mom during her battle. God Bless!
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Kady:
The people on this board will help support you through your dad's illness. When I read your post, I felt it was me posting for the first time. Ignore the stats, attack aggressively and support your dad in his decisions. My dad fought his battle with everything he had and maintained a positive outlook throughout his illness. He was 69 and had quit smoking over 20 years ago. Doesn't seem like this disease would lurk in hiding that long, does it? Treat your dad as you always have and help him stay positive! Any questions/problems you encounter can be answered here. Prayers to you and your family!
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So glad Jack is back home and wishing him a speedy recovery. Tell him to try to stay calm. You know I respect law enforcement officials, but sometimes they forget people may be having tough times and need to give them a break. They have tough jobs, but we have tough times too! Wishing you both the best and prayers to you!
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MO:
Glad you got "revitalized". Enjoy your break from treatments and wishing you luck when you start them again. Hang in there!
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Pat:
Welcome to our special family! There are wonderful, amazing people here who will truly inspire you and be able to help you. Good luck with your treatments and prayers headed your way!
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Sharlene:
Welcome to our special family. You will find wonderful people and support here. Really helped pull me and my family through during my dad's illness w/SCLC. Good luck with your treatments and hang in there! I know the initial diagnosis just blows everyone away, then it's the "kick it in the butt" attitude that seems to take over. My dad's attitude and strength with his illness inspired me during his battle. Stay positive and take one day at a time.
Missing my dad
in GENERAL
Posted
Thanks Tricia and Katie for your support and comfort. Today was a little better and maybe next week will be even better. Don't know what's really prompting my emotional roller-coaster right now, but reading your kind words sure did help!